Stunt Granny Audio #221

From Brian Viveros from SignatureIllustration.org

From Brian Viveros from SignatureIllustration.org

Jeremy and Kevin are back to talk about…wrestling. How strange is that? It’s not that strange after seeing the roster turn over. Did this turn over start after WrestleMania? Did Kevin notice the changes when he attended Raw back in April? The Shield is an obvious topic. Is it a good thing that they’re getting two entrances now? Should Roman Reigns be in the ring with Randy Orton? The guys do wonder if Randy Orton has ever had a memorable match? Daniel Bryan and Seth Rollins definitely had a great match. How much did Rollins benefit from Bryan being on fire? Did it help that the WWE has built a heel faction group the right way? Who have Kevin & Jeremy not missed while they are out? Why have there not been any massive “Future Endeavorings” after WrestleMania? Has Kevin ever watched NXT? The guys get around to ratings talk too. Does that even matter to their product right now?  Kane is old, but is he a new face? How did the Wyatt Family talk wait until the end of the show? Find out the answers to these questions and more when you click the link below.


Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

overgrown-yardI have a couple of articles in the works but this one is going to get posted first. One is about the Pittsburgh Penguins (it still hurts a little) and ROH (it still sucks a lot). I just got done dealing with my brother’s rental property which looks about as awful as the picture above so I’m starting late again tonight. I’ll get that overgrown yard under control but it’s going to take a while. Until I get more day light though, I’ll review some wrestling. Let’s roll.

HHH starts us off. Thanks for letting me save time already. Curtis Axel comes out next with Paul Heyman. Vince McMahon comes down and DQs Axel. HHH restarts the match. This is dumb. Vince comes back down. They continue their pissing match. Vince leaves with the ring bell and microphone. Just stupid. The announcers have to act like it is crazy instead of meant for someone with a Moe Howard hair cut.

Steph tries to talk down HHH from hurting Vince. HHH wants Steph to talk to him. How dumb are you, HHH? She’s working with him. Dean Ambrose gets to fight Kane. I’m glad the announcers are stressing how the Shield may act now not working as a three piece unit. Reigns and Rollins still interfered. Daniel Bryan & Randy Orton made the save. Sheamus has gotten kicked down to the Payback Kickoff. I didn’t think he’d be joining the Miz with as much TV time as he’s gotten with Damien Sandow. It’s been solid TV. They both deserve better.

Orton, Bryan and Kane argue back stage. Kane is the voice of reason again. I’m still digging his end of the bargain too. Brickie comes in and makes Bryan & Orton vs Reigns & Rollins for Payback. Kane gets a US Title match. He give Vickie a sweaty hug.

The Miz is in the ring and Wade Barrett is in the announce booth. Fandango has a concussion now. Hmm, is that real or a work? I didn’t think I saw news that he actually sustained one. Cody Rhodes gets to lose to the Miz. A kid fist pumping during the figure four tap out win for the Miz cracked me up. Paul Heyman comes out and tells us that Curtis Axel is getting tossed into this match.

Steph seems to give a care about her argument with Vince. Business comes first. Men, am I right girls? Chris Jericho hits our TV screens. Jericho keeps making his promos just good enough to peak my interest but not good enough that they’re great promos. My boy Dolph Ziggler makes his entrance. He was better so Jericho starts his nonsense talk. It leads to the inevitable match challenge. Big E Langston accepts the challenge.

We join the match in progress. I’ve liked what I’ve seen from Langston. Alberto Del Rio comes down and attacks Ziggler. Langston gets distracted. Jericho hits the Code Breaker for the win.

Sin Cara is taking on Antonio Cesaro. What did Cesaro do to deserve his demotion? Zeb Colter is on the head set for some reason. Whitey rules is the message. It’s pretty easy to check that stuff. Mitchell Cool opposed him but never said that Sin Cara NEEDS a visa to work in this country. JBL tries to get in on the act. Cesaro wins with the Neutralizer. Are they going to team these guys up? Still digging the Wyatt Family skits. I’d think they’d be able to switch it up a little more than they have though.

Vickie taunts Brad Maddox with her commercial. Vince McMahon and questions Vickie. Brad Maddox comes up with the solution. Have everyone at ringside so we can end with a big fight.

Randy Orton has Daniel Bryan in his corner. Roman Reigns has both of his mates with him.I really like Reigns look. As stupid as it sounds, he fits the black outfit better. Ambrose deserves some wacky type tights like Damien Sandow. Rollins looks like he wants more flair considering his hairdo. They get a commercial. Orton looks like he’s got the win. Rollins attacks Bryan and interferes. Bryan gets in a suicide dive. They flow right into their match. Bryan gets to unleash his offense first. Rollins ends up trying the Surf Board and locks it in. Bryan turns it around on him. Bryan locks in a dragon Sleeper from it. Rollins gets out of it with one punch. Weak throw to break. I’ve really liked Rollins’s selling in this match. Orton stops Reigns from interfering. Bryan with a small package for a win. Excellent match. Rollins is the the first one from the Shield to put together a great match. He’s lucky that Daniel Bryan is just awesome right now.

Big E Langston is Kaitlyn‘s secret admirer. Weird. What is up with that shirt big man? Shouldn’t she be a little wary since he works with AJ? Dummy. Everyone except you knew. AJ Lee comes out. AJ taunts her about being dumb. If Kaitlyn has no love, we can give her Dusty’s number. Kaitlyn snaps. Men just don’t get our pain. Am I right girls? More Wyatt Family.

Damien Sandow comes down with microphone in cupped hand insulting Sheamus. R Truth is his opponent. I start checking my phone because I could care less about this match. The Silencer for the win. Sheamus comes down. He just yapped from the stage. Steph is back on TV. She sends a lackie to find Vince. Steph sends the next person after HHH. Yo go girl!

HHH & Vince fall for it. They’re as dumb as Kaitlyn. It sort of works. The lumber jacks are at ringside. John Cena enters the ring. Ryback comes in the ambulance but walks back to the stage. And my DVR cuts out just as Cena tells Ryback to shut up. It’d been a good promo up to that point. Too bad I missed the end. -Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

DogCleaningPoop

The Penguins are playing like dog poop. With that out of the way, I’m going to buzz thru this program with extreme prejudice. Let’s roll.

Stephanie McMahon made an executive decision to suspend HHH from wrestling. She’s right. He should rest for more than a week after a concussion. Vince McMahon struts out. I missed the medically clear part. It also hurts my argument about ROH being the worst. HHH coming back Superman style is making it look silly. They are doing a good job of heeling it up. The Shield comes out. They hit commercial.

Hey, what the fuck? The announcers were selling this like the McMahons were in trouble. I call bull honkey on that. Daniel Bryan, Kane and Randy Orton are taking them on. Nice of Lawler to sneak in a Hartford Whalers line. Nothing happens before the commercial. The crowd comes unglued for the double hanging DDT by Orton. Rollins turns it around. Reigns right hand to Orton’s gut was really odd but the announcers smoothed it over by praising it. Orton’s drop kick to Rollins looked equally awkward. The crowd is eating up the Bryan hot tag too. Bryan puts Ambrose in the No Lock but Rollins & Reigns interfere. Orton collides with Bryan. Ambrose nails his face plant DDT for the win.

Daniel Bryan is pissed Randy Orton. He apologizes but Bryan can’t accept it. Bryan goes with the weak link talk again. He wants respect. I’m good with them breaking apart Kane & Bryan. HHH wants to wrestle tonight. Stephanie McMahon plays the sympathy card. Vince tries to talk him out of it.

The Usos have embraced the full Samoan wrestling stereo type by adding face paint on top of the haka dance. They are wrestling the Prime Time Players. Mitchell Cool is forced to say how traditional the face paint is. I’m surprised this match is on a go home episode. Super Fly Splash for the Uso win. Good for the Usos who did get a good reaction here in Cbus.

Big E Langston is taking on Alberto Del Rio again. The announcers try to sell us on a best of three series. No such thing has been mentioned in previous matches. Hold on, did they really say 2-2 in matches? Jimminy cricket that’s too many matches. JBL pulling out a Chris Adams reference. Nice. Cross arm break by Del Rio. Langston lifts him over the ropes to get the break. Del Rio locks it back in. Del Rio rolls him into a scissors pin for the win. That was kind of cool.

Damien Sandow doesn’t talk coming to the ring so that saves me time. Sheamus is taking on his partner Cody Rhodes. Sandow is on the head set. Cody is getting in some offense but the crowd says it all right now. They know Sheamus is going to win. Brogue Kick. And we get to look forward to an intellectual challenge on Friday. Sheamus slaps Sandow upside the head after he didn’t shake hands.

(more…)

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

I haven’t even watched Smackdown yet. It’s been that kind of weekend. On the upside, a review of Fast & Furious 6 is coming soon from yours truly and Jeremy. Time to start Raw, really late. Let’s roll.

John Cena reappears in Canada. Are they creating a best of three falls ambulance match? I stopped paying attention already. Ryback wakes me up. He’s satan now. Aw crap, that is the type of match. I will not be ordering that PPV. Paul Heyman brings out Curtis Axel next. I’m not a fan of his beard. They are putting a push behind him.

Alberto Del Rio comes out first. Big E Langston makes me realize that I haven’t read a lick of wrestling news this weekend either. I have no idea how my boy Dolph Ziggler is doing. He doesn’t really fill in the blanks when they pimp the WWE app. AJ Lee’s interference costs Langston the match. He looks pissed at her.

Kane has a giant zit. Daniel Bryan is still stuck on the weak link. Bret Hart gets to interrupt them. Hart gives Bryan the same speech and he’s enamored.

The Shield came out before the break. I figured it’d be for the tag straps with the Bryan & Kane skit. Instead, we get Dean Ambrose versus Kofi Kingston. I’m not into the cow pattern design on Kingston’s tights. Nothing happens before the break. I finally know what Ambrose’s finisher is. Ambrose retains. They do segue into the tag team match. After a break! Except on the app. How did they forget to say that!

Seth Rollins is an idiot for going for a suplex against Kane. Roman Reigns helps clean up the mess. Kane is taking the beating so that Bryan can lose again. Bryan goes overboard which makes this match longer. Fine by me. I’m not paying much because we’ve been looking at cruise information. I’m glad for replays for a change. Nice way to finish the match. Rollins knees Kane in the head of a distracted Kane. I’d be fine with Team Hell No breaking up.

HHH has a fake concussion and we get news on it. Oh my lord, what a rigged vote. The Miz gets to be ref for Wade Barrett versus Fandango. The woman rightly points out that we haven’t seen too many Wade Barrett entrances recently. It all started when we discussed whether the jacket had been used recently. This match is just weird. Shouldn’t they both just beat the hell out of the Miz? Barrett does toss him around. He pays for it with a Skull Crushing Finale. Fandango wins. Shawn Michaels is talking to John Cena for some reason. Shawn is trying to be the voice of reason. Michaels is rocking a good beard.

What a crap festival of a match. The Great Khali, Brodus Clay & Sweet T are taking on 3MB. I agree with the woman, I miss the good old days of the one man band. Splash on Slater for the win. Yawn. The Great Khali sings Happy Birthday to Natalya Neidhart. Woof.

Chris Jericho interviews Paul Heyman. Good pairing. I’m glad they’re getting to a feud with CM Punk. One of Jericho’s better interviews in a while.

The Bellas are taking on Kaitlyn & Natalya. Let’s see what kind of home coming she gets. Lawler & Cool sound way too happy about Natalya’s appearance. Natalya can’t get the win with the Sharp Shooter. Kaitlyn accidentally spears Natalya. One of the Bellas pins her. Of course they’d go with the loss. How can you pass that up? Curtis Axel cuts a pretty solid promo against Bret Hart.

They introduce some a group of crazy Bayou people. Brodie Lee is in the group so I already love it. They’re playing into his look. Sheamus & Randy Orton are teaming against Damien Sandow & Cody Rhodes. Hilarious, Mitchell Cool forgets what type of match Mark Henry & Orton just had at Extreme Rules. They start giggling about all of the coincidences of Lawler’s heart attack. These four guys get a commercial break. They turn it into a good match. Brogue Kick on Sandow for the win.

I blew through the entrances for John Cena and Curtis Axel. We get even more Paul Heyman. He gives a pep talk to Axel before the break. They’re making Axel look solid so far. A drop kick ends John Cena’s early come back. Axel gets even more offense. Nice homage to Mr. Perfect. An ambulance shows up after Cena gets the upper hand. Cena gets counted out. Ryback ambushes Cena by using the ambulance as a decoy. No one really gets the upper hand. I always like the bragging rights for an up and comer. -Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

WontBeSurprised

You can see the website for the picture well enough. If you’re blind but somehow reading these words, it’s from LOLpix.com. I will not be surprised when Curtis Axel is introduced by Paul Heyman at the 9 PM slot. My woman asked me who it was. I thought she meant Kury Angle. Oh well, it’s not a big deal. I saw the tease earlier today so I knew something was coming.

They start with ambulance. Ryback wants an ambulance match. Aside from the whole vehicle, what’s the real difference with the match stips? Ryback going full heel by running down the fans. Glad they’re putting some gusto behind it. I don’t think he delivered though.

One sure fire way to catch up, FF the introductions. At least Fandango, Wade Barrett, The Miz & Chris Jericho got entrances. But like any good match, nothing happens except for more WWE App pimping. Fandango and Summer Rae bring us back. Jericho ends up taking advantage of Barrett. The Miz comes in for the cheap figure four tap. Jericho partners with Summer Rae but then blows her off. I guess that’s what you call it. Weak sauce.

Vickie comes out without her better half. She rigs a vote for Jack Swagger‘s next opponent. Of course it’ll be Randy Orton. Very pumped about the Shield holding lots of gold. Kane and Daniel Bryan start witty banter then it turns into arguing. Kofi is the piece maker oh, because he’s teaming with them tonight. The Shield will have another easy win.

Sheamus gets the big win but Mark Henry gets the TV time. He went home. Jerry Lawler implies it might last for a little bit. Titus O’Neil is his fodder. Darren Young will factor into the match but Sheamus will overcome. Yep, he gets to eat some barricade. O’Neil takes advantage. JBL & Lawler are putting him over something fierce. Young factors in again which gets O’Neil a near fall. White Noise. Brogue Kick. Mitchell Cool even calls him game at the end.

I’ll still listen to Paul Heyman‘s spiel. I didn’t know Lesnar was taking a break. Good for him. Come back at Summer Slam. Oh my lord, it’s a re-package Michael McGillicutty. Curtis Axel has himself quite the playoff beard. His new name is a mash up of his dad’s & grandfather’s. Good deal. Heyam is surprised by HHH‘s appearance. Did the internet explode when he big footed a possible new star? Axel steps up. After a slap, we get a match between the two.

Alberto Del Rio and Big E Langston go at it. Was I not paying attention to the news or did I really not see an update on my boy Dolph Ziggler? Big E showing off the strength with the Del Rio cross arm breaker turning into a ring post baseball bat. Aside from a Lawler joke about Ziggler keeping AJ monogamous. Big Ending for the victory after some eye gouging.

Kaitlyn attacked AJ Lee last night. Layla El is her opponent even though she’s #1 contender. AJ locks in the Black Widow for another win.

Zack Ryder takes on Cody Rhodes for who is really in the dog house. I’m sort of in the dog house. Baby Momma Drama is dragging his feet on the move out. It’s time to draft some legal documents. Horray for friends. No, I can’t pay attention to another feed. Well, maybe I could if it’s silent like Ryback. Disaster Kick to put Ryder in the dog house. Ryback gets to pummel Ryder more. Mention that Ryder was Cena’s friend! Turn Ryder heel after this beating.

The Shield shows up for their match. I’m glad they got time to brag before the match. Kane & Daniel Bryan interrupt and bring a commercial. Kofi Kingston starts off the match. He gets to take a beating too. Bryan gets to be the hot tag. Lawler re-tells an already bad joke about voices in the head. Dude, quite after one bomb. Big six man stand off to break. Kofi gets to botch some offense. Daniel Bryan is awesome in the ring. Big surprise, I know. Kane gets the second hot tag. Double suicide dive. Kane & Reigns are in the ring. Ambrose & Rollins dispatch their opponents. Flying knee by Rollins. Spear by Reigns for the win. Glad they didn’t pin Bryan. More of a statement pinning Kane. HHH gets to act tough.

Kaitlyn & Natalya get to act weird. Cody Rhodes makes the segment much better than it had any right to be. No one is surprised when Randy Orton runs away with the voting. At least they didn’t fudge the numbers to make it look like a closer race than it ever could have been. Him and Jack Swagger start after the break. The match gets my attention when Orton starts selling a knee injury. More app pimping. I feel like it’s the Twitter rage all over again. So naturally they show the Twitter ticker after the break. Swagger gets Orton into the Patriot Lock. He had to switch legs. Ha ha. RKO out of nowhere. That’s his trademark more than anyone else.

Curtis Axel gets the big second entrance. Nice of HHH to let him follow. Axel looks a little bigger than the last time I saw him. The announcers are selling HHH’s injuries from last night. Almost certainly confirming that he’ll win. HHH is trying to shake something off. He can’t get back into the ring. Trips sits down for a spell. The doctor then calls it. I’m not engrossed. Or worried. -Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

Spring-Cleaning

I’ve been doing extra house cleaning to make room for my lady friend. Baby Momma Drama is supposed to be exiting to make space for her. I just finished cleaning out the pantry to make room for all of her baking equipment. I love cooking but don’t do much in the baking department. I’ve already hit my closet to make room for clothes. It’s been nice shedding stuff I haven’t worn in years. Anyway, it’s getting late enough. I got my intro in. Let’s roll.

It looks like we’ve got ourselves a dance off to start the night. I FF thru their entrances. Fandango‘s outfit is outstanding. Is Jericho‘s partner from Dancing with the Stars? I don’t care to rewind. I’m hoping they’re giving them more mic time than dance time. The old berate the woman gimmick. Nice way to go with him. If they go with Summer Rae being in on it, I’ll like it even more. Good of Fandango to finish off Jericho with the dance floor. Awesome, she was in on it.

Zack Ryder continues to get TV time as a jobber. That usually leads to some mediocre gig like 3MB. I’m glad Alberto Del Rio is on the WWE App. I’m not downloading it. I watch too much already. Ryback rules.

Tons of Funk get a very short entrance while the Prime Time Players got squat. Sweet Tea starts against Darren Young. Wow, that was worthless. Young gets the hair pick to the throat of Clay so that O’Neil can get the roll up. Unlike ROH getting something of a pass from me for the Paul London situation, the WWE in no way gets a pass for having Dolph Ziggler wrestle anytime in less than a month. Anyone that loses that much memory needs recovery time. For probably much longer than a month. Fuck Jack Swagger.

Teddy Long comes out to give the verdict. Of course the clown car out for the verdict. Number one contender’s match for Jack Swagger and Alberto Del Rio. Big E Langston takes on Del Rio or Swagger but I have to download the WWE App to vote. Piss off. No.

Dean Ambrose challenges for Kofi Kingston‘s US Title at Extreme Rules. Damien Sandow tries to sell us on his ability to beat Kingston before said PPV. Ha. Sandow is doing a much better job in the ring being convincing than with his mic work. Trouble in Paradise out of nowhere. I hope they have Rollins & Reigns go after the tag titles now so that they can all have gold. I like faction gold hoarding.

Josh Matthews gets to serve up Mark Henry‘s promo on a tee. I love the other announcers calling Matthews a moron because he is. Sheamus and Henry end up lighting each other up with straps. That should be a fun match on Sunday. They’ve been selling this PPV something fierce.

Randy Orton takes on Antonio Cesaro again. Good on Jerry Lawler and later JBL to sell their previous match. RKO out of nowhere. That seems familiar for some reason.

3MB is in the ring for the Miz. I feel like he has been missing but in no way do I care. Lawler is animated tonight, sneaking in an Indians reference. The Pirates are doing okay themselves too. Tonight was not a banner night though. Heath Slater gets to catch a beating. Kind of a cool spot having Miz toss Slater onto 3MB. It didn’t look that smooth though. Figure Four for the win. Ah, big return says Mitchell Cool. Thank you sir. He did defend trying to call the match earlier this segment. He does the right thing sometimes.

Awesome, Reigns & Rollins are going for the tag team titles on Sunday. Make like dwarves and hoard some gold. Ambrose starts the match which gets the announcers to mention the idea. Kane starts out for his team. Holy shilling the app Batman. I’d actually be up for just seeing the matches the whole way thru. Evidently it’s an elimination match so Kane got tossed right before the second break. This crowd is going nuts for Daniel Bryan. The numbers game catches up to Daniel Bryan while John Cena was taking an Edge Coffee Break (TM). Cena hulks up from the fans. Attitude Adjustment on Rollins for an elimination. Reigns gets tossed for shoving the ref. Ambrose can’t get the cheap pin though. He gets caught in an STF. Reigns & Rollins attack to cause the DQ. Triple power bomb. Ryback came down and whacked the ankle with a chair.

Ryback isn’t going to play by the rules any more. Ryback rules. Big E Langston is going to end up taking on Jack Swagger. More app TV time infill. Good to see Ziggler doing media from his place still. This match is getting nothing from the crowd. Langston makes it to the ropes while Swagger has on the Patriot Lock. I was interested to see what they’d do with him. He’s gotten some squash matches but Swagger is a step up from that. Big E gets counted out. Nice way around him being pinned. Alberto Del Rio goes on the attack. They trade finishers. Langston joins the fun. Del Rio stands tall. The crowd is still sitting on it’s hands.

AJ Lee is taking on Natalya while a zoo is on the outside including the Great Khali, Hornswoggle, Kaitlyn and the Bellas. The later three are on the head sets. The secret admirer thing is so 1980s. The Bellas still stink on wheels. Kaitlyn doesn’t know what to do on this shit show. AJ locks in the Black Window for the tap out win. Interesting. AJ’s heat is dead.

Chris Jericho tries to look serious. The camera angle was weird. The promo was okay. He needs to be more heelish.

HHH comes out. Oh boy, he became a man in the ring. He feels alive in a cage. Brock Lesnar & Paul Heyman come out. Trips wants to fight. After much very good blathering, Brock doesn’t fight for free. Brock is up to 320? Ha. He’s bigger than his UFC days but not that much bigger. HHH calls him a bitch for the I don’t know how many-eth times. Lesnar acts like he’s taking the bait. Thet brawl. Not like we haven’t seen it before. Brock better win on Sunday. Even steven booking agrees with me. -Kevin

Stunt Granny Audio #220

The Shield

Thanks to the Stunt Granny photography department aka “The Woman”

Stunt Granny is back with another edition of the Stunt Granny Audio! The guys actually talk wrestling for a change because Kevin attended Monday Night Raw. Dusty joins him and asks an important question. After noting that the crowd was much larger than the one in November, Dusty asked “What do you think caused the jump in attendance? What is different?” Which piece of the puzzle had more new shirts at this Raw than anyone expect for the standard bearers like John Cena, CM Punk, Randy Orton and Sheamus? Part of the change in attendance is Kevin’s fellow Kent State Alumni Dolph Ziggler. Did he get a crowd boost because he was near his old stomping grounds in Kent? Does Dusty again with Kevin about Dolph’s ability to sell? The third pillar in this attendance equation is Fandango but what happened to his fancy entrance? How good of a dancer is Fandango? The last part of the change equation is The Shield. How easily can Kevin point out the obvious about Roman Reigns when he walked past his row to the ring? Does Dusty make an inappropriate joke? Kevin wraps up Raw Live by talking about his usual habit of people watching. Would turning John Cena heel work from a merchandising stand point? What kind of a cross section did Kevin sit in? Dusty had one last question for Kevin, what the hell is up with Ring of Honor? Find out that and more when you click the link below!


Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

MoreThanAConqueror

I’m trying to conquer the internet but that will have to wait until after I type this column. My introduction usually involves something from the weekend. The problem with that is that I have a column in the works about it. I hoped to get it done today but work got in the way. Let’s roll.

I’m pretty excited to see the Undertaker tonight. It should be a fun match up that I expect to end in a pin on Daniel Bryan. I haven’t looked at the spoilers either. What fun would that be? Paul Heyman starts off the top of the show. He is there on behalf of Brock Lesnar. HHH is really there and Paul Heyman makes a fantastic face. I’m not sure why the WWE feels like they need to have the three man booth. JBL & Josh Matthews should be on Smackdown. Jerry Lawler & Mitchell Cool on Raw. HHH Pedigrees Heyman. I didn’t look at the MRI results but I’m guessing not too much is wrong with Trips.

R Truth raps horribly. Antonio Cesaro yoodles horribly but the crowd goes sing song. What the hell? Downward Spiral for the win. Why is R Truth winning? Woof. The Shield makes an entrance from a helicopter into some black tinted SUV. How cheesey. I give them an A for effort. D on execution.

Brodus Clay made his entrance before the commercial break. Damien Sandow is taking him on. They’re escorted by their usual crews. Sandow gets the roll up pin. A second straight who the fuck cares match and finish. Dolph Ziggler is talking to his championship belt. AJ Lee is thinking about going after the Diva’s Title. Okay, I’m glad they’re planting the seeds for Big E to break away or turn. Vickie Guerrero & Brad Maddox are giving Dolph bad news. I think Brad has freshened her up. They give us a review on CM Punk. The Shield get a new fresh video. Believe in the Shield.

Chris Jericho comes out for his entrance. Dolph Ziggler comes out with his crew. If Jericho wins, he gets a spot in the title match. Nothing happened before the break. Everyone is shocked. Big E finally gets a shot in at Jericho to spice this thing up. This crowd is trying but no one is going to live up to the post Wrestlemania crowd until they go to Dallas or Chicago. I know Columbus won’t even be this loud next week. Jericho gets a near fall off a superplex. Code Breaker but he brags. Ziggler puts his foot on the rope. Classic. Walls of Jericho. Fandango comes out to distract Jericho. Ziggler breaks the hold. Zig Zag for the win. That’s bull honkey according to my girl. Speaking of which, my four year old nephew calls Donkey Kong, Honkey Kong. I couldn’t help but laugh. Josh Matthews gets to interview Mick Foley. He talks down to Ryback.

 

With much less fan fare, Cody Rhodes takes on Sweet T. I’m glad he’s updated his ring gear finally. Ridiculously long underhook suplex. JBL is still trying to pump up Sweet T. Hell of an announcer but I still want him on one show. I enjoy separate teams. He has been showing off more of his offense as a baby face. Power bomb then pins him with a senton. This stupid gimmick may get him somewhere if they can both shake it at some point. Daniel Bryan and Kane are backstage. Bryan wants to go over strategy. They get attacked by the Shield after their spat. Good stuff.

Ryback is with Josh Matthews. He wants an explanation. He points out the obvious. Ryback is pissed at Foley. Mick is getting beat up tonight. He’s great at selling. Big E Langston powders up before his match. Ha. Zack Ryder looks like the sacrificial lamb. The crowd is just not with Ryder any more. The Big Ending. I have no idea why Ryder had to retire the last version of his gimmick. I continue to feel bad him. He could be in a Christian spot.

The Undertaker comes out by himself. The Shield comes in from the crowd. Kane & Bryan make “the save”? We get the regular match after another break. Everyone loves Old School. The baby faces are handing the heels the beat down early. Kane is the first man to sell for his team. Bryan gets the luke warm tag so that he can be the next one to sell. This is more than a luke warm tag though. Of course he starts to sell before the next commercial. I’m glad they’re really making a match of Taker’s appearance without him doing much work. Taker gets the real hot tag. He’s pulling out most of the arsenal. Spear by Reigns breaks it up. Taker can’t quite pull off the clothesline any more. Flying Goat gets crotched. Kane & Taker fight Reigns & Rollins on the outside. The Flying Goat misses. Dean Ambrose gets the pin.

Mick Foley gets to be in a segment with John Cena. Foley knows he’s walking into a trap. Cena gives him a chair. Fandango comes out his match. We wait for a commercial to find out that William Regal is going to lose to him. They let Regal have some offense before taking the fall. Downward Spiral. Jericho attacks him as he gets to the stage. Jericho offers his hand to the female dancer. He dips her. Good exploitation.

I’m supposed to pretend that AJ isn’t going to win this battle royal. She’s the only one who got a promo tonight. Tamina super kicks her head off. AJ plays dead to stick around. Layla eliminates Tamina. Layla starts to drag her in the wrong direction. AJ played opossum. AJ wins. Cool rightfully askes for updated references.

I am not finishing this one too late. Mick Foley can really turn it on when he wants to. Ryback ends up trapped in the ring with John Cena when the Shield shows up again. Cena leaves Ryback in the ring. Cena then makes the save with a chair. Good way to tie up that loose end. Attitude Adjustment after a look down by Ryback. Fair enough segment. Not enough for show closer. -Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

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After the normal review, we get started with the handicapped match of Sheamus & Randy Orton against the Big Show. Sheamus should really be smart enough to tag out to Orton to beat the Big Show. I know he’s mad with him and all but that’s plain stupid. Randy gets to be the hot tag tonight. Sure, whatever. The crowd was back to normal on Smackdown. This Raw is no different. Brogue Kick + RKO = win. Snooze. 3MB get mic time because they were beat down by The Shield. They called the Shield out.

3MB gets more mic time, this time in the ring. I’m glad the Shield isn’t wasting their time. Brock Lesnar will though. People are loving Lesnar doing this. Not quite sure why he was ever positioned as a heel. Paul Heyman tells us he wants another match with HHH. This trilogy isn’t getting drug out like Rock vs Cena. Steel cage match is the offer. Disappointing. Expected HIAC.

Hot damn, I rewound for the yoodling. I should shot myself. Antonio Cesaro gets to beat Kofi Kingston. Nice of the WWE to try and make Kofi look like something other than a jobber. Holy shit, they gave them a commercial. I’m not sure I’ve seen Cesaro throw that running uppercut in the corner. That looked really good. Trouble in Paradise knocks Cesaro out of the ring. Trouble in Paradise again. Kofi is the new US Champion. This could be a good move for Cesaro. They did have me hooked by the end.

Buzzed right thru the Dolph Ziggler review for his interview. I still don’t get some of his outfit choices. The leather jacket is not your style. Alberto Del Rio gets to screw up a good promo. I love Ziggler turning him down because of an injury. Vickie Guerrero orders the match. Nice spite ruling. Zeb Colter & Jack Swagger join the party. Del Rio takes out Swagger. Jack gets the jump when Big E distracts Del Rio. Patriot lock does more damage.

The Prime Time Players have shirts now. Kind of simple, kind of slick and the back is a horror house of words. Wow, surprised that the Taker, Kane & Bryan vs. The Shield match will be next week. Not as surprised when they say it will be in London. They try to go a little extra big there. Daniel Bryan takes the beating early. Kane gets the luke warm tag. He destroys Darren Young anyway. Flying Headbutt win.

Ryback was in a dark room. I’m really digging the setting. He’s pissed at Cena because he didn’t help him out when he was being assaulted by the Shield. And Mark Henry. He’s going to step out of John Cena’s shadow. Good promo. All I could think though was, he needs to be able to do this in something other than a specific setting.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

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Quotes from Jeremy on Facebook about Wrestlemania – #1. Yeah I totally got away with not contributing at all this year. Fortunately Kevin DiFrango was there for us all. (About my last preview post for Wrestlemania) #2. Kevin DiFrango wrote about WrestleMania 29. I saved $70.00 by not ordering and reading his review. I hope you do the same. (Considering I posted this today, Jeremy know his tenses very well.)

Quotes from Dusty on Facebook about Wrestlemania – Just read the quick results for Mania. The only result that didn’t make me want to jam a needle into my eye was Del Rio beating Swagger. Glad I occupied myself with baseball and old SNL today

Quotes from Eric on Facebook about Wrestlemania -

I get the odd feeling we won’t be talking about Wrestlemania this year. I re-watched the first two or three matches last night. I’ll try and watch the rest of the matches at some other point to properly evaluate. When you’re watching during a party and having to explain past histories and build up, you don’t pay attention very well. Toss in trying to blog and you’re nearly useless. I’m home with two conked out dogs. Time to concentrate on Raw. Let’s roll.

John Cena comes out and gives a Cena speech. He is the only person that gets this much of a reaction unless you count the part timers. Ryback and CM Punk come close. Mark Henry spoils the victory speech. Cena tries to derail a good promo. Booker T comes out to kill a main event that should headline a PPV. I have no idea where Vickie Guerrero is. Booker turns it into a non-title match. Henry still delivers a good promo.

Daniel Bryan comes down with Kane. Big E Langston comes down with some guy with blonde hair and a woman who might be smaller than my sister. I’m glad this crowd is better than the one last night. Nice choice of the director to not show Langston tossing Bryan onto Kane. Langston wins with the Big Ending. That was quick. Glad to know that Ziggler’s briefcase will continue to not be used as he still pursues the useless tag titles.

Wade Barrett gets his rematch against the Miz who went back to the goofy jacket for some reason. It doesn’t fit his character so I have no idea what he’s thinking. I do like the new wrestling gear though. Of course nothing happened before the commercial. I was grabbing dinner finally so I missed Barrett’s spell of offense. Barrett gets to break the figure four. Barrett whacks the Miz off the post. Bull Hammer for the win. Okay. Can someone tell me what the purpose of Barrett dropping the strap in the first place? Vickie & Brad Maddox are yammering when Sheamus comes in. He gets a match but Vickie doesn’t specify against who. Glad to know she’s as tired of that match as the rest of us are.

Booker T is backstage when Randy Orton approaches. Of course he wants a match against Big Show too. Booker over rules Vickie. Oh crap. It’s going to be worse than I thought with just a plain old rematch. We’re on the brink of anarchy according to Zeb Colter. Damn, I just got my finances straightened out. At least I had a good couple of year run to enjoy it before anarchy.

Alberto Del Rio and Jack Swagger do the heavy lifting. No surprise there. Also no surprise that they go to commercial with someone laying outside the ring. JBL has been stumping for free speech but doesn’t want it when Jerry Lawler makes a Colter joke. Neither Mitchell Cool nor Lawler called him on it. Del Rio breaks the Patriot Act. Del Rio turns a second attempt into a cross arm breaker. That was slick. Swagger taps out. Del Rio starts selling his ankle injury. Dolph Ziggler comes out. He cashes it in. The crowd is going crazy. The WWE will have it on mute in the main office. Enziguri by Del Rio. Kick out by Ziggler who had to wait until 2. Ziggler gets out of the cross arm breaker with a partial ankle lock. Zig Zag for the World Championship. Awesome. So awesome.

The fun continues. The Shield comes out when the Undertaker comes out. Glad to know he’s taking off more time officially. I’m not surprised. Aww crap, they do love this three man group so much, they’ve made up another three man group to not make them singles wrestlers.

Dolph Ziggler gets to give a victory speech. He said that this is his Wrestlemania moment. It is about damn time. Great cockiness that he needs to keep. 3MB gets to wrestle R Truth, Zack Ryder & Santino Marella. This match is very exciting for all involved. You didn’t get into Wrestlemania, here’s your consolation prize. Cobra beats Heath Slater. Awesome, they showed Fandango’s appearance on Opie & Anthony. Nice showing from little Jimmy Norton. Kaitlyn got to give away tickets instead of having her Wrestlemania moment. Sheamus and Randy Orton are arguing. Sheamus tells Orton that he’s got this. Orton is sitting back too much these days.

Big Show was angry last night. He is obviously angling for a feud with Randy Orton since another feud with Sheamus will bore us to death. Sheamus and Orton talk more. Tweet my choice. #IDontGiveACare. After the commercial break, we get a match between them for a chance at Big Show. I do love the after Wrestlemania crowds. This is down right hilarious. RVD! JBL! Jerry! Michael Cole! Commercial break! ECW! Lawler is thinking the crowd might run out of chants. The announcers finally get to talking about the match too. The wave. Clubbering time. Randy Savage! HBK! White noise and the crowd boos. Missed Brogue Kick. The Big Show comes out. Sheamus into the post. Thank You Big Show! Finished off with a WMD on Orton. Nope, not finished off. Really setting up the feud. Big Show is looking impressive in the process.

Fandango comes out. Kofi Kingston gets to job. How the moderately powerful have fallen. I guess they didn’t want Kofi to job? Chris Jericho interferes. I’m fine with keeping the feud going. The announcers complain about their table being used again. Walls of Jericho that referees try to break it up. Code Breaker as the finale. The crowd loved it. They also love Fandango correcting Justin Roberts.

Paul Heyman is interviewed by Josh Matthews. He sells Brock Lesnar. Heyman moves on to CM Punk. He is going to let Punk do his talking next week on Raw. Interesting. I like the tease. The Bellas & Rhodes Scholars come out for the oops, we put P Diddy on the show instead of you. So what if the crowd crapped on Diddy. Tons of Funk & the Funkadactyls are out second. The crowd is loving Sandow. Double Splash on Sandow for the Tons of Funk win. We didn’t miss anything on Wrestlemania.

Holy crap, that’s a real shirt that John Cena is wearing. You couldn’t see the belt earlier. If anyone over 12 buys that, they deserve to be beaten senseless. Mark Henry is using the power to his advantage. Duh. Count out victory for John Cena. There we go, figured an attack was coming. Ryback comes out. So Cena will get another feud. Feed me more. He looks at Cena. Then offers a hand.  Cena goes to tje ropes. Hilarious. He’s got to be trolling the crowd. Meat Hook clothesline on Cena. Shell shock. Surprised this crowd is getting into Ryback this much. -Kevin

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