Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw – 17 Oct. ’16

Hamilton Building Opening 10-07-2006

Hamilton Building – Denver Art Museum copyright. Saved from Designed by Daniel Libeskind.

The WWE starts us off with Kevin Owens & Chris Jericho. They have to shut down the crowd to get their point across. Owens is a thinking man’s champion. He is going to make Seth Rollins pay for being in the Hell In A Cell with Owens. Jericho gets to put the referee from last week’s match on the “List.” Owens gets bothered by the crowd enjoying that catch phrase. Seth Rollins comes out and tries to get “Sparkle Crotch” over. Jericho threatens to put him on the “List.” Rollins reminds Jericho that he’s been Pedigreed 2 weeks running. Rollins then asserts that Jericho is the weak one. Jericho challenges Rollins to a match. Rollins agrees and gets Owens to vacate ring side.

The ensuing match as usual, stays in first gear until the commercial break. Jericho is controlling the action after it. Rollins has a short come back. Jericho connects with a Lionsault. Rollins counters back with a knee to the face. Rollins goes to the top ropes. Owens comes back out to ring side. Rollins dives to the outside to take out Jericho. Rollins takes to long to Pedigree Jericho. He counters out into the Walls of Jericho. The referee catches OWens pulling the ropes away from Rollins. Rollins counters a Code Breaker into a Pedigree. Slick set of moves.

Charlotte has a sit down interview with Lita. Charlotte goes over the top with how confident she is in herself. She’s a winner. Being hurt is a sign of weakness. Charlotte calls herself “The Woman.” Lita talks about the crowd. Charlotte runs us down. She says that she’s won twelve straight PPVs which isn’t possible. She came across really bitchy in a good way.

Mark Henry, Goldust & R Truth are taking on The Shining Stars & Titus O’Neil. They got a back stage earlier in the day segment that didn’t do anyone any favors being aired. World’s Strongest Slam for the win. I don’t want to give them any more digital ink than necessary.

Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens start to bicker at each other. Stephanie McMahon comes in and tells them to get on the same page because she plans on accepting the challenge at Survivor Series that Daniel Bryan & Shane McMahon proposed.

Sheamus & Cesaro comes out bickering again. Cesaro is the one on Facebook live this week. New Day comes out. They remind us that Kofi Kingston beat Cesaro last week. Big E is going to beat Sheamus. They realize his name has “Shame” in it. Xavier Woods gets to make a bunch of weed references. I can’t watch FB Live since as the column states, I’m not reviewing this live. Dear lord would that be tough. Big E splashing Sheamus on the apron gets my attention. Sheamus recovers to give Big E a rolling senton on the outside. Sheamus reverses up to the top rope and asks for crowd love. Big E uses the opening to get back on track. Sheamus gets the knees up on the splash. Big E counters something into a power bomb. I have no idea what move Sheamus has in his arsenal that he would attack that way. Sheamus rakes the eyes. White Noise only gets a two count. Sheamus bounces Big E off the apron. Sheamus gets on FB Live. Big E splashes Sheamus in the corner. Roll Up for the victory.

Curtis Axel got Bo Dallas a match tonight. He is taking on Neville because everyone involved in this situation has been buried and mostly for good reason. For all people seem to enjoy Neville’s Red Arrow finisher, they never seem consistently into his matches. Dallas trips up Neville going to the top rope. Roll of the Dice for the win. Axel celebrates for Dallas who has none of it and attacks him. Smart move for the WWE even if Axel is an obvious sacrificial lamb.

Dana Brooke is taking on Bayley. Brooke plays run around the ring. Bayley plays the game better though and gets the jump on Brooke. Dana finally fires back and starts beating down Bayley. A double clothes line is what gets things back on track for Bayley. Brooke slides to the outside. Bayley slide drop kicks her thru the apron. Brooke bounces Bayley off the ring post. Brooke pins her for the win. Did she forget to do a finisher? Michael Cole tries to sell us on Brooke improvements. Wow, you have noted nothing of the sort.

Paul Heyman gets interviewed by Michael Cole. Heyman says Goldberg wouldn’t travel this far just to say “No.” Brock Lesnar didn’t challenge Goldberg in person because Lesnar doesn’t think of Goldberg right now. He tells Goldberg to decline the rhetorical match that Heyman laid out last week. More good work from Heyman. He really hammered home the plain-ness of the name “Bill.”

The Denver Trio is taking on Braun Strowman. He’s going to have problems because of the altitude. Squash win. He grabs the mic after the match. He wants more competition. Sami Zayn comes out. He faces up to Strowman who launches Zayn out of the ring with a simple push. Zayn gets asked why he’d pick a fight with Strowman. He said he’s doing it because no one else will. That’s a dumb reason even though I want you on my TV more.

Lana introduces Rusev. He gets angry when the crowd starts “What!”ing him. Rusev always cracks me up with his point of view. He talks about the Samoans sitting around a fire eating chicken and dipping it in mayonnaise. He’s got to come up with this bizarre shit, right? Rusev then shows off his mother, father, brother and grand mother. Even his dog has won world championships. Roman Reigns comes down and tells Rusev he looks more like the family dog than his father. Lana goes to slap Reigns when Rusev stops her. He head kicks Reigns in the process. Rusev slams the steps against Reigns. Rusev brings the steps into the ring. Reigns fires back but Rusev gains the upper hand again quickly. Rusev applies the Accolade atop the steps.

Karl Anderson is accompanied to the ring by Luke Gallows. Enzo Amore & Big Cass come to the ring and do their usual schtick along with slipping in a John Elway reference about how Big Cass is going to whoop on Anderson tonight. He backs it up by giving Anderson East River Crossing for the win. Weren’t they trying to build up Anderson & Gallows? They’re serious! Holy shit.

Brian Kendrick is talking to Drew Gulak and Tony Nese. Kendrick wants them to follow his lead. TJ Perkins comes in to draw everyone’s ire. Kendrick is mad that Perkins thinks everything is a game. Cedric Alexander & Rich Swann come in to even the sides. They got mic time but that isn’t enough time to get over.

Lita had a sit down with Sasha Banks too. Banks is ready. She talks about the road they have blazed together. She keeps talking about how much more they are doing for women’s wrestling when they get into HIAC. Lita wants to know if any part of her is afraid. Banks has some but she knows what she signed up for.

The Cruiser Weight come out for their match. Nothing much happens before the break. They did high light all three faces quickly. Nese hits the 450 on Rich Swann. Kendrick tags in much to Nese’s annoyance. He ends up helpoing secure the victory by holding back Perkins by the leg. Captain’s Hook for the tap out victory.

Stephanie McMahon & Mick Foley have a “We’re getting along”segment. It was fun but ultimately just getting some news out.

Bill Goldberg has all of his segments come to a culmination. Goldberg talks about missing being a role model for the kids. He said he’s going to do it for one last match. Brock Lesnar is Next and also Last. People seem pretty jacked that he’s back. Promo was just okay in my books. Should be a fun match. – Kevin DiFrango

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