Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw – 6 Nov. ’16

Bridgewater Hall in Manchester England. Photo from wikipedia.org.

The WWE gives us the normal video package about Braun Strowman and The Miz. He comes out to start the show with Bo Dallas & Curtis Axel. He’s berates Baron Corbin for terrible on screen persona. Corbin will have no answer tomorrow. He invites out Kurt Angle, so that he too can be needled. They get to make the yearly divide seem important. We’re just getting more recap. The Miz tries to blame Angle for having Kane attack Daniel Bryan last week and for Strowman’s attack on the Miztourage. Angle rewards these accusations with a match between The Miz & Strowman.

Elias Samson has to talk about his cherished guitars since it’s hanging from a pole. I really don’t get the old reference dispensing Michael Cole supporting Samson. Jason Jordan is his obvious opponent for this match. I’m dying when Cole kills the conversation by referencing Booker T’s 49ers Match. I’m not sure what that is but it must be terrible. This match is interesting since they need to use the guitar. Samson misses with a swing and Jordan powers him into multiple corners. Suplex. Guitar Swing that connects for the Jordan win. Booker still tries to be a hater.

It has to be intentional that Cesaro is getting the most mic time of his career because of his jacked up mouth. The WWE is a really weird place to work. Sheamus wants to take on Dean Ambrose & Seth Rollins for the Tag Championships because they know they can beat the Usos at Survivor Series.

Stacie Coates is Asuka‘s opponent this week. Asuka Lock tap out win quickly. Even Booker T is on board now. Alicia Fox appoints Asuka to Team Raw Women.

Titus O’Neil gets a promo backstage only to get his ass kicked by Samoa Joe before a match can even happen. Apollo Crews gets his ass kicked too. I’m not even sure that needed typed. Samoa Joe then challenges anyone because he can chop down a big man or a quick guy. Finn Balor is the man to challenge him. Joe wins with power early. Balor picks up the pace to gain the advantage. Joe tries to get respite outside but Balor chases him. Joe gains control again. Balor with an overhead kick to turn the tide again. Sling Blade by Balor. Drop kick into the corner. Joe dodges a Coup De Grace. Urinogi by Joe. Balor fights out of a Kokina Clutch. Flip Dive onto Joe. They continue to fight outside. The referee counts both of them out. I actually like that if this is going to be a feud, which totally makes sense for both of them. Keep Balor away from Wyatt after he comes back from The Consumption. Angle comes out and appoints both men to Team Raw Men. Balor jumps off the stage and forearms Samoa Joe.

Bo Dallas is giving The Miz a pep talk. It’s not Halloween any more, there are no monsters. Curtis Axel wants to run. The Miz glares at him.

Kurt Angle wants to apologize to Daniel Bryan. Angle also wants to make Jason Jordan the last member of Team Raw Men. Now Booker actually has favortism.

I’m not sure who this guy back stage is. He interviews Bayley & Sasha Banks. He wonders whether they’ll be on Team Raw Women. Bayley points out that she helped Raw win last year. Sasha Banks wants to be on the team.

Nia Jax comes out for a match. She is taking on Sasha Banks & Bayley. Okay, this is a tag match it’s just that Alicia Fox came out last. Booker T equates Alicia Fox to the Houston Astros. Talk about stretching an analogy. Fox tags herself in but everything back fires from there. Bayley went from beat down to hot tag to Banks. Jax tried to get involved but was cut off by Bayley. Bank Statement for the tap out win. Alicia Fox appoints Banks as part of the team. Bayley is a bit angry.

Braun Strowman comes out for his match against The Miz. Strowman dominates with Miz being appropriately scared. Strowman takes out Miz & the Miztourage. Kane answers the call. Strowman tells Kane that Kane can’t kill him. They fight which causes the DQ. Strowman knocks Kane out of the ring but Kane lands on his feet so he is not bothered. The Miztourage attacks. Strowman lays waste to them. The topper being a power slam of The Miz.

Seth Rollins & Dean Ambrose join Renee Young. Rollins tells us that no one wants Cesaro & Sheamus to be champs. They aren’t the Bar, the Shield fist bump is the true bar. Honestly, either team will have a great match with the Usos but I expect these two to have the belts. Just after I typed that, I got the result on my phone. Hahaha.

Enzo Amore gets to do a terrible promo about mistaking a small child for Kalisto. Amore is really bad. Kalisto comes out. He does nothing. Kurt Angle comes out after Pete Dunne‘s music hit. Woof on the production. I don’t say that much about the WWE. Dunne comes out firing on all cylinders. Amore snaps Dunne off the top rope. He can’t take advantage because he talks trash to Kalisto. Amore tries to pin Dunne with his feet on the ropes but Kalisto alerts the ref. Amore is distracted again. Dunne cracks him from behind. Bitter End for the win.

Alexa Bliss isn’t going to run from Natalya at Survivor Series. She’s going to run circles around her. Natalya was never champion when Bliss was on Smackdown Live. She is the goddess.

Ambrose & Rollins defending the Raw Tag Team Titles against Cesaro & Sheamus for the main event. Ambrose & Rollins get control early. Ambrose is the first to take a beat down for the good guys. Sheamus gets distracted by the fans and allows Ambrose to clothes line him. Cesaro gets the tag before Rollins can. Cesaro gets crotched going for a superplex. Ambrose knocks him off the ropes to the floor. Sheamus tags back in. Ambrose dodges and Sheamus hits the post. Rollins tags in. Rollins takes out both of them. Falcon Arrow by Rollins gets a two. Super Upper Cut by Cesaro gets a two. Ambrose comes in and starts fighting. Rollins gets a two count on Sheamus after the chaos. Ambrose & Rollins get caught going for suicide dives. Rollins somehow kicks out of the Doomsday Device. Ambrose runs interference before anything bad can happen. Dirty Deeds DDT followed by a Frog Splash on Sheamus is stopped from being a finish by Cesaro bowling into them. New Day comes out and distracts everyone. They taunt Under Seige 2 but it doesn’t happen. Angle comes out with all the troops and nothing happens. Brogue Kick for the title win. Raw looks stupid again. Looking forward to bitchy Stephani McMahon next week already. – Kevin DiFrango

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