Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw – 17 Dec. ’18


Crooker Art Museum in Sacramento. Designed by Gwathmey Siegel & Associates. Picture by archdaily.com

The WWE starts us off with Vince McMahon or at least I’m assuming they’re going to. Why else would they have advertised it last night at TLC? He then invites out Stephanie McMahon, HHH and Shane McMahon. It seems they are appointing the WWE Universe as the GM. Hmmm, very vague but promising new faces. Baron Corbin comes to plead for his job. He actually just wanted a conversation. For some reason, it’s worthy of a commercial break. You’re not doing a good job of listening to us still. For some reason, the crowd finally reacts to Corbin. He was just trying to get Superstars motivated with his tactics.

His punishment is having to take on Kurt Angle for the GM spot. HHH is doing the same spot as Corbin. Bobby Roode, Chad Gable & Apollo Crews get added to the match. Shane McMahon makes it a No DQ match. This isn’t any more entertaining than when Corbin did it. Angle Slam ends this terrible match. Angle Slam thru a table after the match. No, we just don’t want Corbin.

My Wife really hates John Cena with hair.

Finn Balor seems to have a feud with Dolph Ziggler now. They’re trying to sell us on both of them needing more exposure. More Balor. Less Ziggler. Or maybe just keep the Ziggler level where it’s been after he got destroyed by Drew McIntyre. Final Cut by Balor gets a two count. Ziggler hits the big DDT for his own two count. McIntyre comes out. Ziggler rolls out to fight him. Balor flip dives onto him. Ziggler takes advantage but gets two again. McIntyre clothes lines Balor to cause a DQ. So we’re still just continuing what happened under Corbin? You’re the ones who talked about change to start the show. Don’t paint me as the bad guy when I point out nothing changed.

Dean Ambrose comes out with his gas masked comrades. He doesn’t need anything from us because he is the Intercontinental Championship. He took the most important thing in Seth Rollins life. Hahaha. Sure Dean, we’ll pretend you won the Universal Championship. Ambrose makes an open challenge for anyone not named Seth Rollins. Tyler Breeze answers the call. He has bumped his way into a number of matches on TV recently. Breeze got in more offense than he has in his other recent matches but we all know the outcome. Dirty Deeds DDT for the win. No one except the announcers are surprised that one of the gas masked comrades was Seth Rollins.

Charley Caruso interviews Shane McMahon to further define the ideas talked about to start the show. He said that plenty of new faces will debut. Drake Maverick & AoP want their rematch. They instead get a four way match.

Lio Rush is so annoying that my Wife went to bed. Bobby Lashley does more posing. They’re talking about being fresh and we haven’t had a fresh segment yet. Elias smashes Lashley with a guitar. Fantastic.

Raw tries to figure out now if they have one popular tag team while Smackdown Live has 3 great teams while hiding a fourth. The Revival, Lucha House Party and The B Team. Nothing happens before a commercial break. Shatter Machine for the win. Maybe they’ll get characters on TV soon.

Seth Rollins is mad about letting Dean Ambrose get in his head. He’s going to right his ship by ending Dean Ambrose. Good luck getting into a feud with Baron Corbin, Seth. Rollins ends up popping him and walking off.

Ronda Rousey comes out. She wants to be a real champion to us. Wow, she doesn’t have much conviction on this so far. Stephanie McMahon gets to walk all over the women. Boy, I’ve never seen that yet either. Please read into the sarcasm. Deep, heavy sarcasm. Alicia Fox starts off against Bayley. It’s a gauntlet match so both of these women aren’t winning it. Bayley tweeks her knee on a spring board. Fox enjoys her chance for too long. Bayley rolls her up for the win.

Dana Brooke is the next woman down. She goes straight to work. Bayley keeps on favoring her knee. Bayley to Belly to win her second match. Brooke isn’t doing anything new in this regime either.

Mickie James is the next one out. Bayley dodges a charging James to give herself an opening. She doesn’t take advantage. Bayley gets a second opening and goes with it. She drops the top rope elbow. James grabs the bottom rope. Bayley with a neck breaker of sorts. James & Bayley fight in the corner. James kicks out her leg. Mickie DDT for the win.

Ember Moon is the next one up. Mickie tries to power bomb Moon onto the outside. Moon fights her off only to be planted on the apron. Moon gets two from an enziguri. Mickie tries to cheat right in front of the referee. James goes to the top but Moon counters with a Code Breaker. Moon with an Eclipse for the win.

Natalya is the next one out. The submission that Moon uses on Nattie is quite interesting. Even Corey Graves can’t come up with a name for it. Moon counters a Nattie suplex into one of her own. Discus Clothesline only gets two for Natalya. Moon goes for an inside cradle. Natalya reverses into a  cradle of her own for the win.

Ruby Riott seems to be the next one up even though Sarah Logan & Liv Morgan come out with her. The Squad helps keep Ruby ahead in the match. We re-hash that Natalya had it easy getting into the WWE. it gives me a chuckle that they never talk about her longevity in these conversations. Riott misses on the reverse senton. Natalya rolls her up for the win.

Sasha Banks gets the last spot so that Graves can bag on her. Nattie face plants Sasha. Basement Drop Kick follows. Sasha with a big knee. Discus Clothesline by Natalya fires back. Natalya locks in the Sharpshooter. Banks gets out by flipping Nattie into the bottom turn buckle. Banks locks in a single leg crab. A crucifix ends up leading into a Bank Statement. Natalya powers out. Release German Suplex . Banks catchings Nattie charging in. She follows up with Meteora.Nattie shrugs off Banks. Nattie flap jacks her. She applies the Sharpshooter again. Banks taps out. The Rousey/Natalya would have made way more sense with a heel turn. I understand exploiting a dead relative is a time honored tradition in wrestling but they needed to stick to the heel turn plan. – Kevin DiFrango

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