Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw – 29 April ’19

Loudon House in Lexington KY. Saved from kentuckyhauntedhouses.com

We’re still supposed to believe that everything is fine physically with Alexa Bliss but she’s back doing announcements so I’m not buying it. I know she had that one whole match but she’s been out of the ring since. She gives us Braun Strowman, Ricochet, Drew McIntyre and Baron Corbin as the Raw participants in the Men’s Ladder Match at Money In The Bank. We get the usual “witty” banter about how all of them are undeserving except for the one talking.

We end up with a tag match with Ricochet & Strowman taking on McIntyre & Corbin. Ricochet gets worn down for the majority of the first commercial break. Ricochet also gets to take the same beating after the break. A Claymore on the outside helped keep Strowman down. Strowman eventually gets the hot tag. A shoulder to the post gets Strowman back out of the ring. McIntyre gives Ricochet a Glasgow Kiss. McIntyre sets up for the Claymore when Corbin tags in. McIntyre objects this week and clocks Corbin. Power Slam by Strowman. Shooting Star Press by Ricochet for the win.

The Usos have mics on the way to the ring. They don’t get to do anything other than sing their lyrics coming to the ring. Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson must have been shipped back to Raw. Gallows & Anderson get an inset promo reminding us that they’re still alive. The most interesting thing about this match is how much offense Anderson & Gallows get. It did make me assume The Usos would turn it around quickly and that’s exactly what happened. 3 Super kicks followed by a Splash gets the win. Evidently Dash Wilder has to shave Scott Dawson‘s back so The Usos make fun of them. The Revival comes out and defends themselves. It’s the most mic time they’ve gotten on the main roster and it’s for a really dumb angle. Go figure.

Kushida is going to be on NXT on Wednesday. I’m pumped. Gives me a good reason to tune in which I haven’t done since Wrestlemania.

The Miz invites out Bobby Lashley as his first guest on the returning Miz TV. Lashley starts speaking in third person like an idiot. The Miz continues to be the message sender talking about how disappointing Lashley has been. Lashley tells The Miz he couldn’t get revenge for his father’s attack. The Miz attacks Lashley who later rolls out of the ring.

The Miz challenged Lashley. He accepted so we got a match after the break. Shane McMahon plays a huge role in the victory. He distracts The Miz a couple of times. Lashley officially wins with a Spear after Miz reenters the ring. Shane ends up giving The Miz a beat down after the match. The Miz really needs that win over Shane. Hopefully this beat down means it’s actually going to happen.

The Viking Raiders seems to be sticking as a name. Unfortunately, Eric & Ivar are still their names too. All three of Lucha House Party attack from behind. It doesn’t do them much good. The Viking Experience is still their finisher too. Welp.

Alexa Bliss brings out brings out the Women’s Ladder Match participants. Natalya is first out. Dana Brooke isn’t happy with Nattie always getting the chances. Naomi is the third person to be entered. Bliss chides them for fighting and not allowing the fourth competitor to be revealed. Bliss is getting back into the ring at MITB. Naomi challenges her to a match. Bliss begs out of the match. Naomi gives her a hard time. Bliss ends up accepting.

Firefly Funhouse is on again. Bray Wyatt is painting this week. He painted the burning house. It’s getting social media buzz so they’re running with it. It’s as weird and lame as last week. But it’s edgy because sociopath is the word of the show.

Naomi & Bliss have their match after several breaks. What did they do in the ring for that much time? Naomi starts out on fire. Bliss starts to wear down Naomi. Naomi mounts a comeback but Bliss shoves her off a bull dog into the turnbuckles. Bliss has been fiddling with her shoes the whole match. Naomi pulls them off. Bliss gets the upper hand but she decides to go grab her shoes. Naomi hits the Rear View then follows up with a split legged moonsault for the win.

Becky Lynch knows that she’s putting herself in a bad spot by defending both belts on the same night but she doesn’t want to hold division’s hostage like Charlotte. They show footage of Lacey Evans attacking Lynch last week. Becky ends up challenging her to a fight in the ring. Evans comes out. She plays coy for a moment but then they engage in fisticuffs. They get pulled apart a couple of times but they keep wiggling out to fight more.

Zack Ryder & Curt Hawkins come out for their match with the Revival. Much to my surprise, The Usos don’t cause the Revival to lose. They just plain lost to a reversal into a crucifix pin. It’s really weird that they’re intentionally keeping the belts out of this feud.

Sami Zayn comes out to talk about his greatness again. He tells the crowd that they’re privileged. These promos are great but the crowd isn’t turning on him as much as they should.

Samoa Joe comes out and shames Dominic Mysterio. Is he finally going to get choked out tonight? Joe promises a reckoning for Rey. Joe takes to the offense pretty quickly. Rey started a come back. He capped it off fighting for his life. That’s when he stacked up Samoa Joe for a win. I guess Dominic gets attacked another week.

Seth Rollins and AJ Styles have that baby face on baby face promo where they compliment each other but are really taking jabs at each other. Rollins has the ace in the hole. Rollins beat Lesnar and Styles didn’t. Hence he is going to beat Styles. They jaw at each other after they stand up. Styles throws the first punch. It looks like Styles is out of it but he recovers. Phenomenal Forewarm through a table.

Kevin DiFrango

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