Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw – 20 May ’19

The Egg in Albany NY. Designed by Harrison & Abramovitz. Picture saved from wikipedia.org

Paul Heyman & Brock Lesnar are the first to hit the screen. Heyman is not at his best. Evidently there was a conspiracy theory about getting Brock into the match. Heyman denies these claims. It would have made way more sense for him to beat up Sami Zayn instead of denying it. The WWE just over thinks angles sometimes. Heyman tells Kofi Kingston and Seth Rollins to be paranoid because of the Beast In The Bank. Rollins is ready to inspire people. Rollins challenges Lesnar to Cash the Briefcase. Of course they don’t fall for it. Heyman makes fun of Rollins for Cashing in when he did. Kofi Kingston meets Heyman’s lips again so he comes out. Kofi wants to establish his championship so he wants Lesnar to challenge him tonight. Heyman tells him that they’ll both be in action tonight so Brock is going to wait around in the back.

Sami Zayn is complaining to Bobby Lashley about his match against Braun Strowman. He wants Lashley’s help tonight in exchange for Zayn’s help in a few weeks. Lashley declines the offer.

HHH tells Rollins & Kingston are tagging against Lashley & Baron Corbin tonight. Brock would be stupid to cash in tonight. He may as well go home.

Braun Strowman comes out. Zayn runs to the back. Strowman runs into Lashley. They stare at each other. Zayn attacks from behind. Strowman finally tells Lashley that he’ll deal with him later. Strowman catches up and beats down Zayn. He then carries Zayn to the ring. Zayn slips off his back and throws him into a post. It’s a temporary reprieve. So is Strowman running his shoulder into a post. Outside clothes line. Power Slam for the win.

Lars Sullivan is going to be interviewed in the ring. We get a video package of his carnage. Charley asks him for his goals. Lucha House Party‘s music hits. They surround the ring. They drop kick him in various forms and eventually get him out of the ring. Kalisto goes for a plancha and gets caught. Lince Dorado & Gran Metallik hit suicide dives but it only slows Sullivan. Dorado is ready to be power bombed but gets pulled away by Kalisto & Metallik.

Ricochet was goaded into a match by Cesaro. He has new music. Interesting. Ricochet goes for a plancha. He too is caught. Cesaro only slams him on the apron. Cesaro works over Ricochet’s back. Ricochet starts a come back with a satellite head scissors take over. He conects with a twist moonsault. Cesaro catches him with a European Uppercut. Neutralizer wins it for win. I’m just baffled. This is the time the WWE decides to make a point about injuries actually factoring into a match?

Charley gets more answers out of AJ Styles. He admits that Rollins was th better man last night but AJ knows he can beat him. Baron Corbin comes in to start his feud with Styles. Corbin gets under Styles skin. Styles slaps him. Coebin laughs and walks away.

Roman Reigns is on Raw again. Michael Cole acts like this is surprising. It isn’t. Shane McMahon comes out before he can say anything. Shane repeats the same line about Reigns hitting Vince for the fourth time? Reigns challenges Shane to a match. Shane acts tough then backs down. Shane introduces Drew McIntyre as Reigns next obstacle. Shane tells us that him & Reigns will meet at Super Showdown.

New woman interviews Shane McMahon & Drew McIntyre are walking back stage. He doesn’t get to answer before The Miz steps in. McIntyre tells The Miz if he has a problem with Shane, he has a problem with him. The Miz is ready to go through McIntyre to get to Shane again.

The Revival and the Usos are having a match finally. Dash Wilder attacks Jimmy from behind. Scott Dawson tags in and drops a leg from the top rope. Dash & Dawson flip suplex him. Michael Cole tries to defend the dumb antics of the Usos against Corey Graves. It fails spectacularly. It’s one of the few things Graves has said recently I agreed with. The pranks are below the Usos. Jey uso finally gets in. He cleans house on the Revival. Cross body gets a two count on Wilder. Dash tries to go up top but takes too long. Dawson tags in. Power Bomb by Wilder. Dawson drops a top rope elbow for a two. Jey counters aback slide. Jimmy tags in. A pin after a double Super Kick is broken up. They all fight on the outside. Dawson small packages Jimmy for two. Jimmy gets two after a Super Kick. Dawson rolls up Jimmy & Pulls the tights for the win.

Alexa Bliss gives Nikki Cross a hard time about not winning last night. They are interrupted by The Revival. They request to be the next guests on A Moment Of Bliss. Alexa doesn’t seem pleased with the idea. After a break, they come out for that segment. Becky Lynch is the guest. Bliss wants to know how Becky feels about losing the Smackdown Women’s Championship. The IIconics come out before she can answer. Becky threatens to take them down to the ring and become Becky Three Belts. Lacey Evans comes out to pat herself on the back for costing Becky the championship she didn’t challenge for. Becky is ready to slap Lacey around full time. She’s ready to take on all three of them. Nikki Cross is ready. Becky nominates Alexa against her will.

Since I didn’t catch all of Money In The Bank, I am surprised to learn that Bayley beat Charlotte for the Smackdown Women’s Championship. That’s a weird tactic to use against a heel. I mean, no wanted Charlotte as champion so I’m assuming she was cheered. When Becky Lynch got in, she made short work of Billie Kaye for the win.

Mick Foley comes out to present the new championship. We need to make Monday night’s “Raw” again. It’s the “24/7” Title. It is defended any time, any place, anywhere. So it’s basically the hardcore championship but without the violence level. It’s available to anyone on any roster in the WWE. All of the wrestlers who aren’t on TV regularly fight for the belt. Titus O’Neil wins the 24/7 Title. Robert Roode attacks O’Neil on the ramp. Roode rolls him up for the first 24/7 Title change. I could really see this championship being defended on Twitter. That’s not such a bad thing.

The Miz is taking on Drew McIntyre in the ring finally. Shane is at ring side. McIntyre is picking apart The Miz. McIntyre misses a shoulder block. The Miz capitalizes. McIntyre drops Miz crotch first on the barricade. After a commercial, The Miz power bombs McIntyre. The Miz knees him repeatedly. McIntyre misses a charge and hits the ring post. The Miz Kicks. Miz tries to give McIntyre a big boot. McIntyre grabs his leg and face first flap jacks him. The Miz goes after the knee of McIntyre. Drew kicks off Miz. Shane is clocked by Miz. McIntyre doesn’t get the pin. The Miz locks in the Figure Four. McIntyre chops his way out of the move. The fight spills outside. The Miz goes after Shane. The Miz throws McIntyre back into the ring. Shane attacks from behind and throws the Miz back into the ring. Claymore for the win. Shane calls for the Coast To Coast. Roman Reigns makes the save.

Why do Kofi Kingston & Seth Rollins need more mic time? The best part of the skit is Seth Rollins admitting that he doesn’t have good hips like Kofi.

Rey Mysterio won the US Championship because the ref is blind. Samoa Joe attacked him after the match and separated Rey’s shoulder, at least story line wise. Rey is too good of a man not to give back the championship to Samoa Joe because he knows he didn’t fairly win it.

R Truth makes Robert Roode think he will help him. Truth attacks Roode from behind and win the 24/7 Title.

Bobby Lashley & Baron Corbin attack Seth Rollins on the ramp. Kofi Kingston has to run from the ring to help. The match essentially becomes no DQ as Renee Young points out but is never officially announced. Rollins makes the match interesting by using a chair. He ends up taking it to both Lashley & Corbin. Kofi joins in the offense. Kofi hits Trouble In Paradise on Corbin for the win. As much as I hate Corbin, why did he just lose? You’ve invested so much in him. Brock Lesnar comes out. He plays the long game and walks away per Paul Heyman’s advice. Brock Lesnar doing that little is better than what his on air presence had been.

Kevin DiFrango

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