Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw – 3 June ’19

The Contemporary Austin in Austin TX. Designed by LTL Architects. Saved from their website ltlarchitects.com

We start the show off with Roman Reigns. Before he can say anything, we are told that Brock Lesnar is going to cash in tonight. Shane McMahon then comes out before any talking happens. Of course he bloviates on how he’s going to destroy Reigns at Super Showdown. Reigns rightfully laughs him off. Reigns talks about whooping Shane then Drew McIntyre. Like Pavlov’s dog, McIntyre shows up. He’s going to take out Reigns now. The Revival jumps him. The Usos make the save.

We get the six man match after the break because the Undertaker is going to come out after his bed time. This line sums up WWE programming these days – This place came unglued when Reigns got in the match during the break. Thanks Michael Cole. Shane ends up interfering. Reigns goes after Shane. He gets Claymored. One of the Usos gets Claymored for the win. The Revival/McIntyre/Shane all beat down Reigns after the match. Evidently Seth Rollins was busy in the back.

The Miz has Seth Rollins as his guest on Miz TV. Rollins is a smart man and doesn’t believe that Brock Lesnar will show up tonight. Miz questions whether Seth can really compartmentalize. Rollins said he can’t live with what if’s. He knows he’ll defend his championship Friday at Super Showdown. Brock Lesnar & Paul Heyman show up. They tease coming to the ring but don’t. Rollins looks annoyed.

The Lucha House Party is taking on Lars Sullivan at Super Showdown. Lars shows up after their entrance. Lars beats them up. They come back and drop kick him out of the ring. He walks off.

Nikki Cross is taking a verbal screeching from The IIconics. Alexa Bliss saves her from talking much. Bliss makes a Blooming Onion joke. Peyton Royce tells Nikki that she’ll beat her later tonight. Bliss starts to make friends with Cross but realizes that no one likes her. Nikki tells her she’s been good to her the whole time they’ve interacted. Are they putting Bliss, Cross and Becky Lynch together? I thought it was a joke when I saw the image earlier today but I’m starting to think otherwise. Bliss turning on Cross or Lynch isn’t really necessary unless it’s well down the line.

Becky Lynch had to wait weirdly (TM Austin, evidently) during the commercials. Lacey Evans lit a fire under her ass because of what she did at Money In The Bank. Evans comes out and taunts her some more. Charlotte Flair pops in to talk her own trash. Her and Evans end up getting into it. Evans pops her with a Woman’s Right. Charlotte sells it less than Becky did the first time.

They end up in a match. This line also sums up the WWE right now – Evans brought out the aggression in Charlotte too – Corey Graves, who has been using the same line about Charlotte for the past 6 months. They are having a fun, knock down, drag out fight. Charlotte started to dominate after the break. Evans broke it up by kicking off from a Figure 8. They double cross body each other in the middle of the ring. Lynch pulls Charlotte out of the ring to cause a DQ. Graves is right to criticize Lynch for her decision making process. There was no event to trigger her rightful anger. PS, he shouldn’t be right.

Rey Mysterio comes out to give a concession speech. Samoa Joe comes out and berates Rey. He’s right also. Woof. Heels should have an angle to make sense of their ire but never be right. Good gravy. Rey surrenders the US Championship to Joe. Rey goes to leave and gets attacked by Joe. Kokina Clutch is released when refs come out.

Braun Strowman is going to have an Arm Wrestling Contest against Bobby Lashley.

Cesaro & Ricochet both get selfie promos. While Strowman waits in the ring. Such a weird thing to be a thing.

Lashley finally comes to the ring. The usual peacocking happens. Mostly by Lashley. Strowman wins the arm wrestling contest. He celebrates. Lashley throws chalk in his eyes when he turns around. Best heel action by Lashley since he’s come back.

Nikki Cross and Peyton Royce are having their match with Bliss & Billie Kay at ring side. Royce works over Cross early in the match. Cross fires back with forearms and clothes lines. Cross misses on the top rope cross body. Bliss gets coffee delivered to ring side. It distracts Royce. She knocks the coffee out of Bliss’s hands. Cross reverses a suplex into a hanging neck breaker for the win. Bliss snaps after the match and attacks.

Seth Rollins comes out to whine again. The WWE does him no favors. Baron Corbin comes out instead. They end up getting into a fight. Brock Lesnar’s music hits. It’s just a distraction. End of Days by Corbin. Lesnar actually comes to the ring this time. Lesnar kicks Rollins in the groin. Lesnar then wears him out with a chair. Suplex. F5 on the outside. More chair. Another suplex. Heyman pleads with Lesnar to cash in. Lesnar yells at Heyman “Friday.” They leave but Lesnar comes back in to beat on Rollins some more.

The Firefly Fun House is super serious today. It’s about exercise. Bray Wyatt is ready to feel good. His pet pig is named Huskus. Vince McMahon Devil Doll shows up. He’s ready to fire Huskus. Wyatt then does the “Muscle Man Dance.” That part of the segment was good weird.

HHH is ready to skip the name calling with Randy Orton. Orton invokes Batista to start the insults though. HHH tells Orton that he’s the best ever to step foot in the ring. Trips then follows up that a lot of people have tried to put him down, but they’re all gone. HHH says Orton won’t be the one to put him down either. Orton goes for the Stephanie has his balls joke. HHH tells Orton that he’s never had balls.

Baron Corbin gets to talk on Rollins leaving in an ambulance. Corbin is ready to celebrate what Lesnar did to Rollins. He guarantees a win at Suepr Showdown.

Ricochet and Cesaro have their rubber match. A Superplex from inside to out by CEsaro is the first big move of the match. Ricochet hangs out Cesaro to dry. Cesaro & Ricochet trade reversals. It ends up in a Swing. Ricochet kicks out after a European Uppercut. Ricochet kicks a charging Cesaro. Ricochet rolls through and pins Cesaro. The Swiss Cyborg attacks after the match so we get to see more of this match. Even this short one was a solid match. Cesaro attacks after the match. He ends up pulling out a table, which R Truth is on. We get a 24/7 Championship chase. It is enjoyable as usual. Poor Drake Maverick gets the worst of it via a Super Kick from Carmella.

I catch up in time for The Undertaker. He babbles about wanting the bets Goldberg so he can put him down like he does to everyone else, except Brock Lesnar & Roman Reigns. He’s a pro and finishes before 11 PM.

Kevin DiFrango

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