Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw – 8 July ’19

This picture will always be used when the WWE is in Newark NJ because their architectural offerings are the most paltry yet. Saved from newarkhappening.com

Becky Lynch & Seth Rollins kick off the show in a mixed tag team elimination match against Zelina Vega & Andrade. All I can think about is the unnecessary creativity the WWE is heaping upon itself by not having action during commercials. Lynch ends up eliminating Vega by Dis-Arm-Her. Vega ends up getting involved in the match. That action draws a crowd. Lynch pushes Rollins out of the way. Andrade runs into her. It allows Andrade to benefit. Rollins turns it coming back in the ring. Stomp for the win. Baron Corbin & Lacey Evans attack Lynch & Rollins as they celebrate on the ramp.

Paul Heyman comes out as we got to break.

Corbin & Evans get to gloat back stage. I am glad that they note that they will not be dating, which would make them weak.

Back to Heyman. He tells us that Brock Lesnar will Cash In at Extreme Rules. He does say he may be bluffing.

Braun Strowman/Bobby Lashley video package.

The Miz is in a six man tag match that is two out of three falls. His teammates are the Usos. Elias and The Revival are on the other side of the ring. Elias distracts The Miz by walking up the ramp. Shatter Machine for the first commercial. I mean win. Elias did leave ring side leaving the Revival to fend for themselves. Jey gets a hot tag even though the faces are outnumbering the heels 3 to 2. I missed why both of his teammates are down. Scott Dawson gets a two count from a brain buster. The Miz gets an even hotter tag. Skull Crushing Finale for one win. Dawson gets two time double super kicked. Jey takes out Dash Wilder. Splash on Dawson for the second victory.

Drake Maverick is hoping to make his wife Renee and himself the latest couple in the WWE. That trend has certainly gone up since Mixed Match Challenge. Maverick yells because he is offered sex.

Rey Mysterio beat the doctors time table for recovery. He’s ready to compete. He issues an open challenge that the announcers told us about already. Bobby Lashley answers the call. They question how he can be there. He dominates the match. Spear for the quick win. I’m stealing this one from Shahid. I’m gob smacked. Lashley needs built up but against Rey? Now?

AJ Styles, Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows have nothing to say about their actions last week.

No Way Jose is coming down to the ring. He gets his match with Cesaro. Jose attacks Cesaro as he chases off the Conga Line. Cesaro with a Cloverleaf in short order for the tap out victory.

The Street Profits are still on Raw. They get to hype Extreme Rules. Good for them.

So this Mike & Maria Kanellis story is going to continue. Yep.

Bayley & Nikki Cross are being interviewed on the Titantron by Michael Cole for some reason. Cross is feeling the pressure. Bayley goes back to “Not trusting Alexa Bliss.” Cross fires back that the more Bayley says that, the more she wants to help Bliss. We get informed that Bayley will take on Sarah Logan and Cross will get Dana Brooke.

R Truth & Carmella look for Drake Maverick in the most unusual places. Maverick ends up running past them with the usual group. Truth ends up running the other direction instead of following.

The Viking Raiders are going to squash Colin & Devin Justin.

Roman Reigns has no news about his mystery partner tonight.

Ricochet used to respect AJ Styles but not any more. He knows he’s going to be in a three on one match tonight even though it’s just against Luke Gallows. Gallows ends up dominating the match. Ricochet rolls him up out of the blue for the win. AJ Styles sets up a match with Ricochet & Karl Anderson…next.

Ricochet gets to show off more offense in this one. He takes out Gallows. He takes out Styles with a ring post moonsault. 630 on Anderson for the win. The Club jumps Ricochet after the match. He really doesn’t have friends. Magic Killer puts him down. Styles calls for the middle rope Styles Clash. He lets go of Ricochet. Styles says it was magnanimous of him not to do it. He tells Ricochet to stay down. Ricochet gets up. Phenomenal Forearm for his defiance.

R Truth is spending a lot of time in empty chests recently.

Shane McMahon does his best Million Dollar Man impersonation. He offers $5000 to some random to stand on the side of the ring.

Sarah Logan seems to have leaned out in my opinion. Logan gets in a lot of offense. The match gets to the three minute mark which is out of squash match territory. Some idiots chant “CM Punk.” Bayley finally turns it around. Sunset Bomb at 4:32 wins the match. Even the announcers think it was a long match since they typically aren’t real match lengths.

Dana Brooke starts the match by getting out of the ring. Brooke misses a Swanton. They exchange pinning attempts with 2 minutes to go. Neckbreaker for Cross to beat the clock with 1:50 left. Cross grabs the microphone. She wants Bayley in the ring. Cross doesn’t think Bayley know what friendships are about. Cross makes the match a 2 on 1 handicapped match at Extreme Rules. Cross tells Bayley to get a friend who can slap some sense into her. Bayley slaps Cross. Bayley To Belly on Cross.She follows up with a top rope elbow.

Mike & Maria Kannelis are getting more TV time.

Corey Graves goes to the locker room to talk to Becky Lynch & Seth Rolins. Graves wonder about their feelings after they lose on Sunday. Lynch tells Graves that he’s an Emo head. Lynch says that they’ve both backed up what they’ve talked in the past so it’s going to happen again on Sunday. Rollins agrees with her and walks off.

The Street Profits are still hyping Extreme Rules.

Roman Reigns comes out first. That give Shane time to get his name announced again and to talk trash. Drew McIntyre is ready to beta the respect into Reigns on Sunday. Gary Garbutt is announced as Reigns partner. He doesn’t look like the shape of the guy in the earlier segment. Garbutt gets tagged in when Reigns gets thrown into the ring post. Garbutt ends up cleaning house with many a high flying moves. McIntyre catches him with a Claymore to get the win. Shane makes the pin though. Garbutt reveals himself as Cedric Alexander. Good on him getting some main event time.

Kevin DiFrango

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