Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw – 16 Sept. ’19

St. John’s Lutheran Church in Knoxville TN. Saved from

Seth Rollins comes out and ends his feud with Braun Strowman. At least he did him a solid and said it was his toughest match of his career. No rematch though so he moves on to Bray Wyatt. Rollins gets him at Hell In A Cell. Wyatt pops on the Titantron from his Firefly Funhouse. He warns Rollins that The Fiend may visit him tonight. Nothing happens before they move on though.

Dolph Ziggler & Robert Roode come out. The Revival comes out next. They both flaunt their newly won Tag Team Championships. Roode gets to do the bragging. Braun Strowman interrupts the festive atmosphere. He meets some resistance but he lays waste to nearly everyone. Roode gets away mostly unscathed since he has a match later tonight.

Nikki Cross & Alexa Bliss are drinking coffee together. It’s so funny how these two are the fun odd couple now. They make fun of Sasha Banks & Bayley who they face later tonight.

The OC comes out for a six man match with Cedric Alexander & the Viking Raiders. Alexander starts out against AJ Styles. Erik & Luke Gallows end up facing off. Erik ends up selling for this part of the match. Karl Anderson gets his crack at Erik but costs his team. Ivar comes in and cleans house. He tags in Alexander to continue the run. Styles makes a tag when Alexander tries to Irish Whip Anderson. Alexander eliminates Anderson but catches a Phenomenal Forearm. The OC wins. Styles puts the boots to Alexander. The Viking Raiders save him but get into a brawl with Anderson & Gallows. Ivar flip dives onto the other three. Well, that’s a generous description since no one seemed to catch him and he hit the mats. He was flat at least. Styles & Alexander fight on the top rope. Alexander goes for a huracanrana. Styles catches him and gives him a middle rope Styles Clash.

R Truth & Carmella are in the Women’s Basketball Hall of Fame in Knoxville. Glenn Jacobs wants to take them on a tour of historic Knoxville. I’m trying to figure out if Carmella was suspicious of Jacobs motives or hot for him.

Baron Corbin & Chad Gable meet in the finals of King of The Ring. Gable gets back dropped onto an office chair. Gable made that look smooth too. Corbin is still working him over. Corbin’s Ring Around The Rosie works for the first time, the first time he’s gone for it. Corbin drops him with a Big Boot. Gable is taking too much of a beating to lose. Gable changes the momentum with an Ankle Lock. Corbin kicks him off but misses a charge to the corner. Gable gives Corbin three spinning overhead kicks. Gable goes for a fourth and gets caught for a power slam. Corbin tosses Gable around on the outside of thee ring. Corbin misses another charge, this time into the stairs. Gable wraps Corbin’s leg around the post. Gable gets caught running again. He is Deep Sixed. Gable kicks out. Gable ends up giving Corbina Rolling German Suplex. He also gets two. Gable rolls through on a couple of counters. Gable locks in the Ankle Lock. Corbin makes it to the ropes even though he grape vined the leg. Corbin with an End of Days. He is King of the Ring. I don’t know how to feel about this one. That was a really good match. I think it’s the first time Corbin has strung together three staright good matches. People also got behind Gable because of how much Corbin has hated.

The Street Profits are hosting the Maria & Mike Kannelis gender reveal party. Maria ends up just telling us that she’s having a boy. She ends up telling Mike that Ricochet is the father. Ricochet denies it. He then says that he’d never be with Maria which pisses off Mike more. Ricochet tries not fight Kannelis. Mike forces the issue though. Recoil in short order for the win.

The Firefly Funhouse is back. Bray has all of the people he has taken out up on the wall. He says that he needs to make a new friend and walks off set.

Maria Kannelis is insulting Mike as we get back to live happenings. She says that obviously Ricochet isn’t the father. Maria then reveals that the father is Rusev. Lana is nowhere to be seen but at least the announcers mention her. He looks slimmed down but still pretty damn big. He gets to beat Mike in short order. Matchka Kick. Accolade for the win.

Glenn Jacobs take R Truth to Nealon Stadium. A referee gets brought in under some disguise. Truth tries to run away but runs into the goal posts. Jacobs pins him to become 24/7 Champion.

Rey Mysterio comes out for another match. Cesaro is his opponent this week. Cesaro takes advantage early. Rey comes back with a 619 to the ribs. Cesaro is working over Rey after the break. Cesaro gives Rey a sling shot senton. Cesaro rolls through on a lateral press. Rey turns it into a Crucifix Bomb. Rey with a spinning sling shot DDT. He gets two. A Big Boot connects for Cesaro. He press Rey then drops him on his knee. Cesaro goes with Three Amigos. On the third attempt, Rey head scissors him over. 619. Rey goes up top. Cesaro catches Rey. Mysterio turns it into a sunset bomb for the win.

Bray Wyatt hangs up a photo of Seth Rollins with his eyes crossed out, like The Fiend’s other victims.

The Authors of Pain show up in suits. They start their promo in English. They switch to their native tongues and bust out subtitles. It’s awesome. I’ve said a number of times on the podcast, foreigner emote better in their native language. These guys are no different. Having them to take on the Viking Raiders and The OC has a lot of potential.

Sasha Banks & Bayley are set to take on Alexa Bliss & Nikki Cross. Bliss started against Banks. Cross got in and started to take a beating. She finally went for a tag but Bliss was pulled off the apron. Bayley rammed Bliss’s knee against steps to injure her. Cross has to continue 2 on 1. Cross turns things around and takes out both of them. Cross clothes lines Bayley. She follows with a Bulldog. Cross knocks Banks off the apron. Tornado DDT by Cross. Hanging Neckbreaker by Cross looks like the end but Sasha saves Bayley. Banks gets tagged in. Cross gets a quick pin attempt but Banks takes advantage. Bank Statement for the tap out win. Banks puts the boots to Cross after the match. When Banks goes for the chair, Becky Lynch shows up with her own chair. They clash with chairs for a moment. Bayley joins with her own chair. Charlotte comes out to even the sides. Bayley & Banks have to tuck tail and leave after getting beaten up by Charlotte & Lynch. I smell a tag team Hell In a Cell.

Sasha challenges Becky to a match at Hell In a Cell. My sniffer is terrible.

Glenn Jacobs gives the 24/7 Championship back to R Truth from what we see.

Becky Lynch is ready to destroy Sasha at HIAC. Should be a stellar match.

Lacey Evans is out. Dana Brooke is her opponent. Evans goes right at her but Brooke fires back quickly. Brooke is n the ring when Evans leg sweeps her. Brooke makes a come back. Woman’s Right by Evans. She takes her time going, Evans locks in the Sharpshooter for the tap out win.

Seth Rollins is facing Robert Roode in the main event. This is not going to go well for Rollins in the long run. Rollins starts hot. Ziggler ditracts him which leads to Roode taking the upper hand. Rollins super kicks Ziggler on the outside. He Sling blades Roode in the ring. Rollins gives Roode a Falcon Arrow but can’t capitalize. Buckle Bomb. Stomp by Rollins. Ziggler attacks Rollins for the DQ. The OC’s music hits. They join in beating down Rollins. They are really taking it to Rollins. Kane makes the save. Kane goes to do his pyro. It fizzles out. The Fiend shows up and gives Kane the Mandible Claw. The Fiend corners a cowering Rollins but nothing happens. We then get remix of the Firefly Funhouse theme song. I mean, if they had put this much into the Hardy-verse, it would have been a hit on WWE TV too. Pretty much the same thing, except Vince believes he made this one.

Kevin DiFrango

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