Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw – 20 Jan. ’20

Scottish Rite Temple in Wichita KS. Designed by Proudfoot & Bird. Saved from 360Wichita.com.

Seth Rollins comes to the ring with the AoP. He has a sweet new t shirt that has him in stained glass. Way better than anything he had as a baby face. He then goes into a nice introduction of Buddy Murphy. Rollins wonder who will be with us and who will be against us. Kevin Owens & Samoa Joe answer the bell. Big Show has been injured by the new quartet. Joe is ready to tussle. Rollins accepts their challenge thinking it will be 4 on 2. Owens introduces the Viking Raiders. The heels get chased easily.

Charley Caruso interviews Seth Rollins back stage. Rollins promises to challenge the Viking Raiders tonight with Buddy Murphy as his partner.

Rey Mysterio and Andrade have a Ladder Match for the US Championship. They are pulling out all of the crazy because why not with these two? Rey sentons Andrade on the floor from the top of the post. Rey head scissors take overs Andrade into a ladder. Rey almost gets hit by that same ladder as he lays on the ground. Andrade gives Rey Three Amigos with the last one being on a ladder. Andrade power bombs Rey onto a ladder that was drapped between another ladder and the ropes. Ouch. Andrade seems to be going for a power bomb when Rey takes him over and to the floor. Rey climbs up the ladder but Andrade meets him before he can grab the Title. After much jockeying, Rey takes over Andrade onto another ladder set between a ladder and the turn buckles. Rey 619’s Andrade. He slowly goes up the ladder. Rey gets caught hanging onto the Title Holder. Rey drops onto Andrade which hurts both of them. Rey back body drops Andrade to the outside. Zelina Vega climbs the ladder and confronts Mysterio sitting on the top. Andrade recovers. Hammerlock DDT onto a third draped ladder. Andrade takes awhile to recover but still grabs the championship for the win. Zelina uncovers the concrete after celebration. Humberto Carrillo shows up under a mask to stop Andrade. They scuffle but Andrade and Zelina flee quickly.

Aleister Black takes more time getting to the ring than he does in it. Local talent charges him. Blackmas for the win.

Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman come to the ring. Heyman recaps the rules of the Royal Rumble. Heyman also reminds us that Brock doesn’t think anyone on the roster is worthy of fighting Lesnar. Ricochet answers the call. Some people in the locker room are scared of what Brock is going to do in the Rumble. He isn’t afraid though. Brock walks away them comes back just to kick Ricochet in the balls. Brock grabs the mic and says “Not scared” and walks away. That was pretty funny.

Charley Caruso is asking the hard questions today. She is wondering whether Randy Orton thinks Drew McIntyre is on par with him. Orton doesn’t think so because of the RKO. Their match starts as the interview wraps up. That interview would have worked better if they were at the curtain instead of Orton getting to look cute “hearing” his music from further away. The first big move fo the match happens outside. Orton dodges a Claymore and it connects with the guy who sits with the ring bell. Poor chap. Orton drops kicks McIntyre coming off the top ropes. Hanging DDT on McIntyre. Glasgow Kiss changes the momentum again. Orton turns a Claymore attempt into a power slam. The OC comes out and attacks causing a DQ even though I don’t think there was a bell. Orton chases off The OC with a chair. Orton tells McIntyre that he’s a tough son of a bitch and walks to the ropes. Orton then catches him with an RKO. McIntyre recovers enough to complain at Orton. He also says that he’s going to win the Royal Rumble. That would be a very surprising outcome to me.

Charley gets to interview Charlotte about her RR preparations. Becky Lynch pops up. Charlotte says that Lynch was unaccounted for last year. She knows the field and is ready to win the ladies RR.

Becky gets a mic in the ring. She’s ready for Asuka and claims that she is hiding behind Kairi Sane. Sure, Becky. The Kabuki Warriors come out. Action spills outside early. Sane distracts the ref. Asuka cracks Lynch with the umbrella to compromise her leg. Sane is wearing down Lynch. Sane bounces off the ropes and gets caught with a heel kick. They exchange strikes on their knees then feet. Lynch misses a corner charge. Sane connects with a flying forearm. Lynch connects with a pair of kicks. Middle rope leg drop gets a two count. Sane reverses out of a Dis-Arm-Her. Sane DDTs Lynch who had been going for a suplex. Lynch kicks Sane to the outside. Lynch knocks off the top rope after she gets back in the ring. Becksploder Suplex. Side kick. DAH for the win. Asuka attacks after the match and leaves Lynch laying in the ring.

Asuka & Kairi Sane get to freak out in Japanese on the new woman. I just genuinely have no idea what her name is. I searched the WWE’s Superstars page and she isn’t there either. Whatever. I tried.

The Buddy Murphy & Seth Rollins vs the Viking Raiders starts with the other four (AoP, KO & Samoa Joe) fighting to the back. That helps clean up ring side. It’s kind of funny that Murphy & Rollins are out tag team wrestling the tag team champions. Ivar finally gets the hot tag in. He cleans house on Murphy & Rollins. Seth stops a Viking Experience attempt. The Raiders dive onto Murphy/Rollins at ring side. Viking Experience on Murphy. Rollins makes the save. Rollins and Erik cancel out. Ivar takes control on Murphy. Rollins recovers and turns the tide. Double power bomb gets a two count. They waste too much time. Spring Board Back Elbows creates an opening. Erik plants Murphy. Ivar goes to the top for a splash and Rollins pushes him off. Ouch. Erik freaks out. He also gets out manned. High Knee by Murphy. The ref pulls back Murphy. Rollins Stomps him on the outside. Murphy covers him for the win. Rollins & Murphy are your new tag team champions.

Seth Rollins says that this victory is proof of concept. Rollins says that he will win the Royal Rumble courtesy of his stable.

Angelo Dawkins & Montez Ford do the Monday after the Weekend Update segment, canned laughing and all. They needed them because yikes. R Truth joins in the fun but can’t save the segment.

Matt Hardy is still employed by the WWE. He gets to take on Erick Rowan. This is a mauling. He forces Hardy to look at “It.” Rowan tries to handle “It” but it bites him again. Hardy tries to take advantage but can’t. Iron Claw Slam for the win.

Mojo Rawley doesn’t need to do no running when he’s 24/7 Champion. The Singh Brothers try to trick him but get beat up for their ruse.

Bobby Lashley & Lana come to the ring first. Lana tells us that Rusev Day is cancelled. Why does Lana get a microphone? They’re a love of a millennium. Something else was screeched but I tapped out. Liv Morgan comes out under Rusev’s music. She goes right after Lana. Yet again, she can’t really take advantage despite being the aggressor. Rusev and Lashley finally square off. Lana helps get LAshley a leg up by slugging Rusev. Dominator by Lashley gets broken up by Morgan. Enziguri on Lashley by Morgan. Rusev kicked Lashley in the head. Lana grabs Rusev’s leg. LAshley Spears Rusev for the win. We might finally have this angle dead and buried.

Kevin DiFrango

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