Top 15 Pro Wrestler Commercials for Non-Wrestling Stuff

In honor of Rent-a-Center’s earth-shattering sweepstakes to meet Hulk Hogan and Troy Aikman, we thought we’d compile a list of the top 10 TV commercials starring professional wrestlers that weren’t for a professional wrestling product. These larger-than-life figures explode onto the TV screen with such abandon and fervor, such charisma and passion, that how could you *not* buy a pizza from them?

Let’s stick with the Hulkster, who hawked Right Guard in 1991 with the savoir faire of Robert Goulet and the acting chops of Mr. Belvedere. Starting this list off with anything less would be uncivilized!

Wrestlers seem to end up in commercials for food quite often. What was I saying about pizza and gargling copious amount of pills? Oh yeah, here’s Kurt Angle, following his 1996 Olympic gold medal win, ready to chow down on some Pizza Outlet:

Wow, wrestlers and pizza go together like, um, wrestling fans and bigger pizzas. Pizza Inn cashed in on the popularity of the Von Erichs in Texas in the early 1980s, but really, who in the hell is going to believe that 170-pound Mike Von Erich taught his brothers, ripped-ass Kevin and blown-up Kerry, anything about eating?

Keeping in the realm of food, I don’t have five minutes nor two scoops of Kellogg’s Eat Shit & Die for Mick Foley, but I do remember this Chef Boyardee commercial starring The Rock, pre-Hollywood but well into his puffy Nation of Domination days. Hell of a shirt, Rock; don’t date yourself too much or you might get chaffed:

Honorable mention: And because superstars’ shuckin’ and jivin’ doesn’t stop at the front door of Titan Tower, here’s Booker T and his big fat momma, eatin’ up all tha food:

I swear to sonny Jesus, this commercial with Andre the Giant made me want to try Honey Comb, and thus allowed me to become a fat shit for the first 28 years of my life:

John Cena, the face of WWE and hero to millions of children everywhere, can’t resist that double meat? Tell me he didn’t just say that!

And in the locally sold booze category: If I were you, Chicago Lake Liquors, I’d give Mad Dog Vachon a coffee break:

Of course, this wouldn’t be a discussion about great commercials with wrestlers if we didn’t include spots for Slim Jim! Here’s one with Macho Man Randy Savage and some teenagers, blowing things up Beavis and Butthead style:

And one with Ultimate Warrior and some more explosions (never let it be said that Slim Jim doesn’t understand its market; I still nice “Niiiice, antique!” every time I see a plastic chair):

More drinks: Man, the NWA/WCW got the short end of the advertising stick back in the day; while Hogan, Warrior and Savage were running wild, Rick Steiner was crawling around like a jackass with Roos on his hands:

And if you can’t land Mountain Dew like the WWF, get your first fattest babyface to drink the second-best thing!

Geez, I guess wrestlers and soda go together like wrestling fans and pizza and soda. Now here’s an idea I can get behind: Sting + population control, thanks to Sprite:

And now TNA is making deals with shitty auto insurance companies, because who better to hawk insurance you can finally pay for than wrestlers who only make $300 a week:

And finally, because we all go to our grandpa for weightlifting advice (“Back in my day, we punched a potato sack until our knuckles bled like stuck pigs! We put our polio-crippled brother on a rope and we dragged him 2 miles!”), here’s Ric Flair’s latest venture into advertising, for Fuel in a Bottle:

Oh, wait, we can’t talk about Ric Flair and TV commercials without posting Bruce Mitchell’s two favorite things in the whole world, wooin’ like Ric Flair and scratchin’ them lottery tickets:

Wow, 15 greats plus an honorable mention. Did we miss anything? Post them in a comment below!

Yokozuna added to WWE Hall of Fame class of 2012

Bonzai!

WWE has announced yet another induction in to the fictional WWE Hall of Fame. The final inductee is Yokozuna. This is pretty good news because Yokozuna was fantastic. Sure he got a little to heavy at the end of his career but at the onset he was great. He may not have been Japanese but as a joyful tween it didn’t matter nor was it noticeable. Damn you dirt sheets for ruining it for me and planting subtle seeds of racism in my tender mind.

On a down note; Yokozuna is yet another wrestler no longer on this earthly palate that WWE has inducted. They are near perfect with inducting one dead wrestler a year since The Hall of Fame’s inception. Don’t believe me? Well here is a list.

1993 Andre The Giant
1994 “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers
1995 Antonino Rocca
1996 Vincent J. McMahon
2004 Big John Studd
2004 Junkyard Dog
2005 none
2006 Eddie Guerrero
2007 Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig
2008 “High Chief” Peter Maivia
2008 Eddie Graham
2009 The Von Erichs (Fritz,Kerry,David,Mike,Chris)
2010 Gorgeous George
2010 Stu Hart
2011 Road Warrior Hawk
2012 Yokozuna

There is only one year that a dead wrestler avoided induction and that was the stellar class of 2005. Now if Hogan, according to his book, had pulled the trigger you would have an after the fact dead guy in the Hall of fame but as it stands he is slowly killing himself working in Orlando. So, shouldn’t be too much longer really.
So congratulations to the family of Yokozuna. -Jeremy

Second Annual Akeem Memorial Hall of Fame: Angles

Every year, starting in 2010, we here at Stunt Granny will go through a rigorous, dangerous, possibly illegal set of votes to induct people into our own Akeem Memorial Hall of Fame. The voting is broken up into four categories: Serious Wrestlers, Fun Wrestlers, Angles, and Matches. This post is for the Angles. Here are last year’s inductees:

Hulk Hogan joins the NWO, Steve Austin vs. Vince McMahon – WWF 1998, Junk Yard Dog blinded, Jerry Lawler vs. Bret Hart – WWF 1993, Big Boss Man/Big Show/coffin angle, Ric Flair retirement 2008, Brian Pillman works WWF/WCW/ECW 1996, DX invades WCW, Megapowers form – WWF 1988, Randy Savage vs. Jake the Snake – WWF 1991

And now, without any further ado, here are this year’s inductees!

Hart Foundation vs.USA, WWF 1997

 The Four Horsemen form, break Dusty’s ankle

Big Boss Man/Al Snow/Pepper

Ric Flair retirement angle, WCW 1993

Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat, WWF 1987

WWF title vacated, leading to Royal Rumble to crown new champion, WWF 1991-92

Kerry Von Erich vs. Ric Flair, Christmas 1982

Sting is kicked out of the Horsemen, WCW 1990

Bob Orton wears cast

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