John Bradshaw Layfield recently became the Billy Mays of the pro wrestling/2 oz. energy boost world by filming this hack-ass, public-access-looking commercial for his new product, Energy Plus. One shot of this stuff and you’ll have huge man-tits and be raping men in a shower with a shampoo bottle in no time! Easily the two best parts of this piece of junk commercial are (1) JBL giving some chubby Afa the Wild Samoan student the patented fallaway slam followed by JBL sitting on the mat like a baby that just shit its diaper, and then (2) Bradshaw admitting his fat, dad-sweater-wearing ass ballooned up to 330 pounds until he started doing barbell curls with a haircut that would get him kicked out of a World of Warcraft LAN party. What a fucking toolshed. As if Joey Styles wasn’t already my hero, this sealed it. As I was watching this, my friend non-wrestling-watching friend Most caught it over my shoulder and had this to say: “Hi, this is John Something, and I’m a big douche. A big ol’ doucher. Do you like douches? Well you’re lookin’ at one.” Truer words = never spoken. -Eric
P.S. Don’t skip the audio below this post! Special guest!!