Forrest Gump, er, I mean Bob Holly opens wrestling school

"Duhhhh, so yer the one who baought mah shirt?"

"Duhhhh, so yer the one who baought mah shirt?"

Apparently Bob Holly, who was only ever given the Intercontinental Title out of charity, and whom God correctly struck twice with his Kurt Angle-aided broken arm and Brock Lesnar-approved broken neck, has opened a wrestling school. Yep, here’s the website: The “3” in the URL makes me think that this mongoloid tried numerous times to get a website up and running. He probably kicked the shit out of his computer redneck style out of frustration. “Gawd dammit, why don’t this gard darn thang cumm up on my clickety-clickety bahx??” When someone says “computer,” he probably only hears “Puder” and goes ape-shit, kickin’ over his mud fence and spillin’ his spittoon everywhere. And Kip James/Billy Gunn is the other trainer. Man, think of the heights their students will reach! Maybe Sam Houston will swing by and guest teach. Maybe Zeus will have a class on the Art of the Promo. Nah, something tells me Bob Holly wouldn’t take kindly to Zeus’ type ’round those parts. -Eric

7 Responses to “Forrest Gump, er, I mean Bob Holly opens wrestling school”

  1. IcePossum13 2009-01-09 at 12:26 pm #

    I clicked on the link for Sparky Plugg’s website and my virus protection blocked the connection. I think he should have alotted more of the money buried behind his trailer house in the mayonnaise jar…

  2. Fanatic 2009-01-10 at 12:15 am #

    “Students in all programs will not be harmed in any way by stiff teaching. We would like to note that Bob does not get kicks out of beating people up. Any instances in the past that have been reported, Bob would like to clear up that he does what he’s been asked to do, just like everyone else.”

    I love how they make it clear Bob only beats up people when he’s told. I guess Vince told him to whip Renee’ Dupree’s @ss or sandbag Brock when he got his neck broke. So now does Bob get to tell Bob when to beat up his students?

  3. B-Esser 2009-01-10 at 12:29 am #

    I remember seeing a piss-poor web site for a Bob Holly school several years back. A few weeks later, there was a news blurb in which Bob Holly was confused why nobody was enrolling.

    Not sure if this is the same school as before or an entirely new one, but I wish nothing but failure on him.

  4. Dukes 2009-01-13 at 4:06 pm #

    Eric, shame on you, Bob Holly is a national treasure. The Super Heavyweight gimmick was one of the best things ever and I hope that he hunts you down and viciously chops you and takes liberties with you for this! Harrumph!

    Seriously though, Super Heavyweight Bob Holly was the shit.

  5. stuntgranny 2009-01-14 at 1:06 am #

    Dukes, first, glad I got a “harrumph” outta you! Second, you’re right, Bob Holly “weighing in at allegedly over 400 pounds” was some pretty funny stuff. If Holly himself came up with that, I’ll eat my hat.

  6. Dukes 2009-01-15 at 2:04 pm #

    He probably didn’t but he played that role well and when he tried to get (can’t remember which) Taker or Big Show to get on the scale and said “How about you Dracula, you fat bastard?”, it was pretty much the pinnacle of his career.

    Also, that awesome match with Sabu where the table cut the shit out of his back was pretty rad.

  7. Fanatic 2009-07-09 at 4:11 pm #

    Just checked out Bob Holly’s sh*t, I mean shoot interview today. It really was aweful with me only learning 1 thing abojut Spark Plugg: He doesnt have a wrasslin’ school. That’s just something some idiot on the internet made up.

    How could be have a wrasslin’ school with a website anywho? Everyone knows they just got cell phones in Mobile…internet will be their next year.

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