NO, Eugene, stop! That's your thumb, you can't eat that!

According to Prowrestling.net, Randy Orton was quoted in the UK Sun (damn, how does the UK keep getting better American wrestling stories than American papers?) explaining why Eugene, a.k.a. Nick Dinsmore, was released so soon after his WWE return:

“He came back two weeks ago and came in a little heavy from where (management) wanted him to come in,” Orton stated during a SummerSlam promotional appearance.

“Nick is a good friend of mine. I pulled some strings to get his job back and he comes back all overweight. So all in all, I’m a little upset with him right now.”

God, where do I start… You have a guy playing a retard. While there are plenty of, as Vince McMahon would say in the mid-1990s, “special olympians” who are physically fit and even work out, the first thing I think when someone mentions Corky isn’t “Greek god.” So you’ve pigeon-holed a perfectly good worker (*cough*pillhead*cough*) with this awful gimmick that will never get him over or allow him to collect main-event money, you ask him to look like shit, he comes back looking even shittier, including his bush-league outfit (probably the one he’s been wearing on the indies), and somehow this shocks you? And what did you so, re-sign him sight unseen?? “Randy, run to Kinko’s and fax him this contract.” That’s stupid. It was stupid to bring that character back. It was, dare I say, retarded to create it in the first place.

If you really want Nick Dinsmore around, tell him to get a tan, work out, cut his dumb hair, shave his beard and throw away his outfit with the turkey-made-by-hand-outline on it. Then have a guy who proved his mettle in OVW come in and work a style that isn’t stealing other people’s moves and hulking up with his freaky retard strength. Get a fucking clue, guys. -Eric