Happy birthday, wrestling people we don’t know!

chain gang cake

Here's your Chain Gang cake, stupid.

I’m bored at work and going through an Excel spreadsheet made by Jeremy “Stalker” Maes listing wrestlers’ birthdays and real names (*gasp* Kayfabe! Kayfabe!) and thought I’d share a few coming up in the next week:

April 21 (today): Bubba the Love Sponge (Todd Alan Clem, 42; it’s iffy as to whether he’s even a person, but OK)
April 21 (still today): Jay Lethal (Jamar Shipman, 25)

April 22: Ezekiel Jackson (Rycklon Stephens, 32)

April 23: John Cena (John Felix Anthony Cena, 33)
April 23: Tony Atlas (Anthony White, 56)

April 26: Kane (Glen Jacobs, 43)
April 26: Amazing Red (Jonathan Figueroa, 27; whoa, two red guys have the same birthday!)

April 27: Vladimir Kozlov (Oleg Oleksandrovych Prudius, 38)

If I were still 10 years old and had access to this information, I’d make a sign out of posterboard and glittered letters that said, “HAPY BIRTHDAY JOHN C ENA!” with a little cutout of his head floating in the corner. Oh boy! -Eric

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply