Batista to tear every muscle, lose breath during MMA training

According to, (recently departed?) WWE superstar Batista is training in mixed martial arts, possibly to enter MMA competition. Here’s a guy who can’t keep his balance when performing a simple powerbomb, something lanky lugs like Sid and Diesel could execute with ease. Here’s a guy who’s more waterlogged than a hydroelectric dam and more brittle than the peanut-laden snack of the same name. Here’s a guy who’s more asthmatic than an entire comic book convention, who blows up at the site of his opponent running around the ring. And he’s gonna try his hand at MMA? Please. He might be a 280-pound tattooed gorilla, but as soon as any skilled fighter gets Batista in the clutch, I promise you, it’s over. At least Batista’s aim is noble: Despite a complete lack of explanation in this video, I gather that part of the reason Batista is training to fight is to raise money for cancer awareness, a disease that has affected Batista’s “now ex-wife.” I‘m sure Melina will be thrilled to hear about this. -Eric

(P.S. I hope everyone else finds the misspellings in the above links as funny as I do.)

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