I'm almost watching Raw at the speed of light.

OK, starting this later than I’d like to. Went out to watch the Pen’s not capitalize on two different 5 on 3’s then give up untimely goals. Tim Thomas was hot too which didn’t help. Good teams lose to other good teams. No shame in it. Enough of an intro. Let’s roll.

Cena confronting the boos and asking for his cheers. Cena wants to be number one contender. Del Rio interrupts. I dig Del Rio’s shirt. Del Rio is claiming the cheat angle from Punk. Glad people watch tape when it’s convenient. EXCUSE ME! Dolph killing it again. He needs to drop it to Zack. Miz comes down to the ring. This segment has officially gotten too long. You’d think Punk would show up too, huh? Johnny Wooden GM comes out. His interim tag is lasting too long. Randy Orton comes out to take on The Miz. No Punk. I was off. Commercial.

I am not playing the Twitter drinking game. I had a couple of heavy hitters at the Winking Lizard. Christmas Ales warm your heart more than normal. Miz is keeping Orton down. Power slam on the floor leads to the distraction needed for the Miz to get a win. Lawler was right, it didn’t matter what happened to Orton. He lost, big deal.

WWE Network gets the big hype. This ad didn’t make me want to buy it. The logo sucks. Zack talks, Johnny Wooden GM talks then Cena copies Zack. Johnny Wooden GM does the predictable (but good) thing of having them wrestle each other. David Otunga gives Kevin Nash a ladder match with HHH at TLC. Nash has an interesting shirt. Much better than some of their previous crop. Kevin don’t need no stinking opponent name. I FF Rodriguez’ intro for Alberto Del Rio and Daniel Bryan coming down. Time to save time since I started late. Bryan taps way too quickly. Push Daniel Bryan or don’t. Am I asking too much?

Beth Phoenix & Natalya take on Kelly Kelly & Eve Torres. Pin Up Strong gets a video that is stupid. Then the presumed Undertaker ad interrupts. Then the Pin Up Strong video continues. Neither of the announcers notice the strangeness of the video. Kelly Kelly evidently is the next challenger. Any chance that video is for Kharma since it was on during the Pin Up Strong video? I have no idea when her pregnancy announcement was. Or the due date. I checked. She announced on 31 May, so it’s been about 6 months. I doubt with her delicate pregnancy she went to the 3rd month before stopping.

John Cena takes on Zack Ryder for the mid main event. Good for Zack. Quite a spot to be in. Ryder getting a nice showing here. Much better than what Daniel Bryan got. Ryder even gets in the Woo Woo Woo boot. Cena with the Rough Ryder into an AA. Exactly what I expected. Ryder freaks out a bit. Cena says he’s doing something but just walks out. Weird.

Johnny Wooden GM stalls when Cena pleads his case. Zack gets another chance if Cena gives up his TLC bid. Cena blows himself then gives up his shot. Zack gets another match against an unnamed opponent. They bust out Brodus Clay, right? I swear I haven’t looked at anything.

Ryder takes on Mark Henry. Cole sells Henry’s injury. Lawler points out Cole hypocrisy on Bryan. Glad you got in your one good comment of the night King. Oh, no DQ so Cena AA’s Henry so that Ryder can get a shot at the US Title. I don’t like a baby face not truly earning it. Just have him beat someone lower totem pole. Johnny Wooden GM won’t over rule the decision. Ziggler is taking on Sheamus. Swagger isn’t wanted at ring side.

Nash takes on Santino. Nice jobber beat down for Big Kev. Yes, a message to HHH as if he’s on Santino’s level. Is there a subliminal message with the straight edge superstar talking to Evan Bourne?

Sheamus takes on Dolph Ziggler. Nice pace to start the match. It’s too early for the main event but this match could be there. Ryder costs Ziggler by distracting him. Lots of baby face wins with shenanigans involved. I just noticed that Ryder has shin guards on now. I’m not sure I’m in. I noticed something strange earlier but couldn’t put my finger on it.

Johnny Wooden GM gets more mice time. I fall asleep during the segment and must re-see the segment. I should have stayed asleep. The crowd chanting fight is funny. GM asking about a picture was kind of funny.  Punk starts the fight. Punk pulls a John Cena and beats both of the heels already. -Kevin