Almost Live, Definitely Half Ased Review of WWE Raw – 12 Sept. ’16

The American Visionary Art Museum in Baltimore MD. Saved from Bmoreart.com which has no additional credits.

The American Visionary Art Museum in Baltimore MD. Saved from Bmoreart.com which has no additional credits.

The WWE starts us off with replays among replays. The second of which is more important to opening segment which is Charlotte and Dana Brooke having their problems aired by Mick Foley. Naturally each wants an apology but Charlotte wins out in getting one. Sasha Banks comes out to challenge her at Night of Champions. Bayley then comes out and points out the obvious, that she beat Charlotte last week. Foley finally pipes up and says the victory did make his mind change. Brooke ends up suggesting a best of seven series which gets a sharp rebuke from Charlotte. Sasha Banks has to take on Bayley for the chance at Charlotte. Brooke ends up slapping Charlotte. She gets included in the match so Bayley or Sasha don’t have to take a loss.

The Dana Brooke vs Bayley vs Sasha Banks match starts after a break. Banks & Bayley take turns beating up Brooke. Michael Cole asks Charlotte who she wants to face, Charlotte gives him a straight answer that makes sense (she just beat Banks) so of course Cole hints she could be scared of Bayley. Ugh. Brooke is in control on Bayley after she took out Banks on the outside. All three women get in on the action with multiple pins being broken up. Super-Superplex only gets Banks a two count on Brooke. Banks keeps selling the back but then double dips on the Bank Statement. Bayley breaks up the submission. Bayley to Belly. Banks turns the pin into a cover which also left her shoulders down but she’s called the winner. No hint of it being an angle from the announcers.

Dana Brooke starts to grovel. Charlotte only tells her to grab her bags.

The Shining Stars are now selling time shares to R Truth. Goldust saves him from being scammed. Big Cass & Enzo Amore stop in to blame the swarthy foreigners of wrong doing. We get a singles match between Enzo and one of them.

Kevin Owens lists what he could say that may be outrageous but doesn’t since it’s all hypothetical. Owens sounds confident about his chances tonight and at Night of Champions. Chris Jericho is glaring at Tom Phillips. He informs us that Sami Zayn will be his guest on The Highlight Reel.

Bo Dallas keeps the parade of names coming after a thirty minute open with the ladies. He gets another squash win.

The Chris Jericho interview of Sami Zayn is pretty ho hum until Zayn calls Jericho a “stupid idiot” for believing that Kevin Owens could be his friend. Jericho paints Zayn’s problems as being his jealousy of Owens. Zayn runs down Jericho’s crendentials then tells him that he’s Owens bitch. Jericho suckers in Zayn with a “text from Owens” then clocks him with the phone. Jericho follows up with a Code Breaker.

Cesaro is taking on Sheamus, down 3-1 in the series. I wish I could get hyped up for this match but I’m struggling. My own thinking is that this series was going to go to distance since that’s what happens in wrestling 99 out of a hundred times. I’m not sure why this series being more like a teeter totter would get my interest more than this deficit. I could just be tired of watching this match. The pin fall does get my interest. Cesaro uses the ropes to get the pin fall to make the series 3-2.

Seth Rollins is mad at Mick Foley for including Roman Reigns in the Universal Title picture. Rollins wants Stephanie but she is in Singapore. He questions Foley’s integrity which ruffles his feathers. Rollins pulls back a bit on the comment but not really.

Nia Jax is going to beat the crap out of Alicia Fox. Tough words in grade school. Graves thinks that Jax looks menacing. I think she looks like a blank slate. You say potatoe, I say potato. Fox gets speared through the barricade to cause a stoppage. Other than being big, I haven’t been terribly impressed with Jax. Plenty of potential though.

New Day gets to trash last week’s “entertainment” from Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson. Every description was apt going from burning the footage to the whole thing being a dumpster fire. Gallows & Anderson point out the ridiculous nature of their characters. All we get in response is a match sans Big E.

Karl Anderson is getting his ass kicked as normal. The announcers are still having to sell Gallows & Anderson as serious contenders despite them losing frequently, except for that one PPV. Kofi Kingston ends up taking the beating for New Day. Xavier Woods end sup getting the hot tag. He ends up in a slugfets with Anderson. Woods making the tight rope spirng board elbow a staple in his arsenal. Magic Killer for the win.

The only thing on Roman Reigns‘s mind is Night of Champions and kicking Kevin Owens’s ass tonight.

Jinder Mahal needs to explain his absence. It’s terrible so Jack Swagger interrupts him. The crowd is sitting on their hands because you can’t care for either of these guys aside from chanting “We The People.” Mahal wins with a neck breaker. In the days you don’t get pinned off most DDTs, a simple neck breaker does the trick.

Evidently Jack Swagger‘s contract ends soon so we’ve either got a story or they’re shedding an old name who can’t be rebuilt without a sustained effort.

Enzo Amore & Big Cass get to do their normal opening. Epico is the one to take on Enzo. The first big move of the match is Cass giving Primo a big boot. Epico follows with a suicide dive onto Cass. Enzo dives onto all of them. Enzo tries to suplex Epico back into the ring. Primo grabsand holds Enzo’s leg so that Epico can win.

Seth Rollins runs into Kevin Owens back stage. Rollins wants Owens to win tonight so that it’s just a one on one match at NOC. Owens accuses Rollins of stealing the glory from his partners.  Owens points out the many failures of Rollins since his return. Owens suggest Rollins mantra should be: Redesign Rebuild Replaced. Ha. Mick Foley comes in to break up the heel bickering.

When Michael Cole needs to explain the hashtag, one may want to reconsider the hashtag in use. I spent the majority of the early part of this match answering questions for the illustrious Eric Nelson. I will seek further opinion tomorrow night when I record with someone. Owens gains control tossing Reigns into the steps. Reigns misses a spear to hit the post. Owens tosses Reigns into the stairs again. Seth Rollins comes down and attacks Owens for the DQ. Mick Foley comes out, yells at Rollins and gets him escorted away. Foley restarts the match. Reigns goes for a superplex but Owens turns it into a fisherman’s suplex. Owens followed up with a Bull Frog Splash for two. Owens mocks Reigns then misses the Cannonball. Classic. Superman Punch only gets a two count. Owens sells the Drive By like he got killed. Super kick is followed by a pair of Cannonballs. The Sit Down Power Bomb by Reigns is impressive considering Owens weight. Rusev comes down to the ring. Reigns Superman Punches him. Owens follows with a Pop Up Power Bomb for the win. Rusev follows up by locking in the Accolade on Reigns to end the show. No stupid rolling back so that was nice. – Kevin DiFrango

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply