Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw – 26 Sept. ’16

The Rosenthal Museum designed by Zaha Hadid in Cincinnati, OH. Saved from azahner.com

The Rosenthal Museum designed by Zaha Hadid in Cincinnati, OH. Saved from azahner.com

The WWE starts us off with Roman Reigns defending the US Championship vs Rusev, who is already at ringside with Lana which is never a good sign for your prospects of winning. Rusev works over the back early. It’s effectiveness pops up when Reigns goes for the one armed power bomb. Rusev takes advantage and continues to work on the back. Reigns fires back with a clothes line out of the corner. This Cincinnati crowd is pretty firmly behind which is strange. Rusev catches Reigns and then dumps both of them over the top rope. Rusev shoved Reigns into the ring post to turn things in his favor again. Reigns goes on the offense with another clothes line. Reigns tries to do another power bomb which is his undoing. Rusev only gets a two count from a round house kick to the head of Reigns. Rusev super kicks Reigns and gets two again. Reigns finally connects with a Superman Punch but he gets two. Lana tries to distract Reigns but fails. They fight to the outside and through the crowd. Double count out after about 25 minutes of match is not satisfying. You have to extend feuds somehow though. Rusev gets the upper hand by taking a chair to his gut. Rusev goes for a head shot and gets Speared by Reigns. He grabs the chair, looks like he’s going to hit Rusev but just sits down and displays his US Championship. Reigns cracks Rusev on the back after he starts to crawl away. Of course the dick move gets cheered.

The WWE gives us a video package of stills from the Cesaro vs Sheamus. They are introduced by Mick Foley. After they bicker about who was more dominant, Foley informs them that they will be fighting the winners of New Day vs Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson. The later of which have a stare down with Cesaro & Sheamus on the ramp. The Club gets the early jump on New Day. Big E gets the hot tag to turn things to their direction. Big E spears Anderson through the ropes. The Midnight Hour (that’s the first time I remember hearing a name for their finisher) gets a two count because Gallows broke up the tag. Magic Killer on Big E. This time Kofi Kingston saves the match. Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise for the win. New Day officially has had the Tag Team Championships for 400 days.

They show the footage of Stephanie McMahon meeting up with HHH after Clash of Champions from last night, which it should be noted I didn’t watch. I had a Columbus Crew soccer match to attend. Somehow, they still have a shot at getting into the playoffs.

Mick Foley has to explain why he’s making Cesaro & Sheamus tag team. He talks them up and asks them to give it a chance. He’ll give them a match tonight if they want it.

Bayley hits the ring. She is taking on Anna Fields. Bayley to Belly in short order. She tells Tom Phillips that she failed last night, but if either Charlotte or Sasha Banks thinks they won’t see her again, they are wrong.

Mick Foley finally talks to Stephanie McMahon. He explains how everything looks bad on her end. She tells him that HHH was in the air so he didn’t see the show. She then berates him for being the one who should have been policing the main event, not her. She berates him some more to cover for the fact that she really didn’t provide a lick of evidence that his accusations are false.

Rich Swann & Cedric Alexander get an inset promo. Swann is pretty infectious. Alexander plays along. Drew Gulak & Lince Dorado are their opponents. They both get their own promo since they weren’t on Raw last week. Swann takes on Dorado. They do matching moves to get the crowd started. Dorado takes out all three who are huddled on the outside. Gulak is working over Swann after the break. Hey, they’re introducing the Cruiser Weight Champion on Raw finally. They are really selling Alexander the last two weeks. He Lombar Checks Dorado out of the ring. Gulak Saitio Suplexs Alexander. Swann tags in. Super Kick into a bridging pin for the win.

Cesaro & Sheamus take on Nick Cutler & some other bum. They bicker but ultimately prevail. Sheamus Brogue Kicks both of them. Cesaro makes the pin.

They give us the TJ Perkins video package. He even gets a promo with Tom Phillips. Brian Kendrick breaks up the party. The Title was resurrected for Kendrick. He vows to end his Championship reign.

Charlotte comes out and says that she reigns over the Women’s Division. Sasha Banks comes out and reminds her that she pinned Bayley last night. Banks wants her one on one rematch. Charlotte tells her to stop barking like a little Chihuahua. Banks is going to take the Championship back to prove she’s the real face of the Women’s Division.

Seth Rollins runs into Mick Foley. Rollins doesn’t trust Foley now. Rollins thinks that Kevin Owens is owed something.

TJ Perkins comes out. Tony Nese is his opponent. It would appear the ROH like hand shake will be a hall mark of the Cruiser Weights. Nese showing off his skills which are quite varied. Perkins starts a come back with a head scissors take over. The morons chant for CM Punk while good wrestling is happening.  Nese stops a Tornado DDT. Nese gives Perkins a running knee but only got two. Wrecking Ball Drop Kick by Perkins. He applies the knee bar for the victory.

To save time, I blow through the Pedro Morales video package. Chris Jericho is mad at Dan Masters & someone else who claim to be better friends than him and Kevin Owens. He proved that he should have been the Number 1 Draft pick for Raw. Owens points out all of the people Rollins has injured. Since he injured Rollins, he’s really mean. Maybe it just means you’re safer in the ring. Seth Rollins comes down the ramp but is escorted to the back by security. Enzo Amore & Big Cass tossed in another big spot. Big Cass asks Jericho if he thinks he is Santy Claus. Jericho then says he is going to sit on Cass’s lap. Comedy does ensue somewhat. We get a tag team match to close the show.

Owens & Jericho end up fighting in their street clothes. Owens invites Big Cass into the ring. After Cass takes the fight to them, he hangs himself up on the top rope to creat an opening for the heels. Enzo gets the hot tag. It ends with a cross body for a two count. Owens pushes Enzo off the top rope. Owens grabs Enzo’s legs. Jericho with a spring board drop kick. Enzo starts taking his patented beat down. Enzo gets drop kicked coming off the ropes to squash a rally. Senton by Owens only gets a two count. Enzo gets the knees up for a Lionsault attempt. Big Cass gets his hot tag. Cass drops Owens and tags in Enzo for the Bada Boom Shockalocka. Jericho slaps him and takes him out of the equation. Pop Up Power Bomb on Enzo for the win. – Kevin DiFrango

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