Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw – 5 Dec. ’16

The Civil Rights Summit at the LBJ Presidential Library in Austin, TX--The LBJ Presidential Library is illuminated at dusk on the first day of the Civil Rights Summit in Austin, TX. Tuesday evening April 8, 2014. RALPH BARRERA / AMERICAN-STATESMAN

The Civil Rights Summit at the LBJ Presidential Library in Austin, TX–The LBJ Presidential Library is illuminated at dusk on the first day of the Civil Rights Summit in Austin, TX. Tuesday evening April 8, 2014.
RALPH BARRERA / AMERICAN-STATESMAN

The WWE recaps us on the Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns/Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens saga. Seth Rollins is the first one out to the ring. He wants HHH because he hasn’t answered for his change in allegiance. Kevin Owens shows up when Rollins invokes his name. Owens tells Rollins that him and Jericho are still friends because sometimes friends fight. Rollins doesn’t have any friends. Rollins wants a match against Owens but he’s booked tonight and at Roadblock. Jericho’s presents are a match against Roman Reigns for the US Championship and one against Rollins at Roadblock. Rollins is supposed to be scared that Big Show is his opponent.

Rollins did have to worry about the Big Show since Owens was at ring side the whole match. Owens coached up Big Show too much though so when he jumped up on the apron, Big Show choke slammed him into the ring. Big Show walked to the back to get counted out. Rollins Pedigreed Owens after he had won the match.

Jack Gallagher gets a video package. The announcers talked him up as a gentlemen but then most of the video was about his precise wrestling. They mentioned his three piece suit but that was the only “gentleman” part. His trunks certainly don’t scream gentleman. Those pieces should work a bit more harmoniously than that. Ariya Daivari is his opponent again. They wrestled on 205 Live. Good to see that’s the new testing ground for Raw matches like Smackdown used to be. I’m not sure why such a small guy is using a head butt as a main weapon. Running Drop Kick in the corner for the win. Gallagher went for the shake after the match. Daivari attacks his knee instead.

Titus O’Neil runs into some indy wrestlers back stage.

Mick Foley is confronted by Kevin Owens. Foley tells him his match against Sami Zayn is still on. Chris Jericho is lurking in the shadows. Owens tells him about all of the match presents he got for Jericho. Chris is nonplussed and tells him they’re not good still.

Enzo Amore & Big Cass are talking about proper horse terminology right near Rusev & Lana who are arguing. Enzo tries to help. Lana throws her ring at Rusev who walks away. He asks Lana “How are you doing?” I hope Lana doesn’t leave Rusev’s side again. Unless she’s waiting to unleash some new skills she didn’t have last time she went baby face. Lana invites him back to her hotel room. I probably typed the two previous statements too early.

Sami Zayn is taking on Kevin Owens again. The action moves quickly until the break. Owens is in control after the break. Zayn made a short come back. Zayn DDTed Owens on the ring apron. Zayn also hits the thru the ropes DDT. Owens turns a Superplex attempt into Fisherman Suplex. Owens Cannonballs Zayn. The second attempt is blocked. Zayn nails a third DDT.  Owens super kicks Zayn. Another pair of suplexes from Zayn. He connects with the Blue Thunder Bomb for a two count. Zayn tossed Owens into the barrier outside. When they came back into the ring, Owens nails the Pop Up Power Bomb for the win.

Roman Reigns walks into Chris Jericho’s locker room. Reigns tells him car paint is still in his fore head. What a dick. Jericho freaks out. Reigns points out that Owens is having Jericho doing his dirty work again.

Sasha Banks is hoarse from her match last week. I’m assuming she has a similar cold/flu thing that I do. Banks challenges Charlotte to an Iron Woman match for Roadblock. I can’t wait until they have a Bull Rope match.

Rich Swann gets a video package to flesh out his character. I’m glad he;s over come his parents early deaths but you need more of a hook than that in wrestling to get the fans behind you. TJ Perkins is his opponent tonight. The Cruiser Weights need to stop hot potatoing the Title. I’m not sure I could harp on the WWE developing their characters more. They have a solid match. Swann connects with the Spinning Heel Kick for the win.

Bayley comes out for a match. Alicia Fox is her opponent since Bayley gave Cedric Alexander a Bayley Bear earlier in the day. The announcers spent more time trying to politely say Fox was crazy than talking about the match. Bayley To Belly for the win in fairly short order.

Enzo Amore & Big Cass talk about Lana being trouble. A picture of her face changes everyone’s mind. Rusev wants to know where his wife went. Cass claims to not know. When he tries to walk away, Rusev grabs his arm. Rusev then says he wants a match with Cass tonight.

Titus O’Neil is taking on Mark Henry in the “Tussle in Texas.” I love how Michael Cole tries to talk up the University of Texas after they fired their football coach this year. Florida may have lost to Alabama but at least they got to their conference championship game.

Ric Flair loans his limo to Enzo. Fun segment.

Roman Reigns comes to the ring. Kevin Owens gets the same talk from Chris Jericho that Owens gave to Jericho last week. Jericho did a good job of evading Reigns power for some of the match but it had a feel of domination. A Sueprman Punch couldn’t finish off Jericho. Reigns gets kicked going for a Spear. Jericho goes for a Code Breaker. Reigns turns it into a Sit Down Power Bomb. I think I would have cried if Reigns won with a small package. Jericho locks in the Walls of Jericho. Owens super kicks Reigns on the outside. Jericho gives Reigns a Code Breaker. Reigns kicks out at two. Owens jumps on the apron. The ref and Jericho argue. Spear for the win by Reigns.

I’m thinking Rusev isn’t going to show for the match against Big Cass. Those two Certified Gs aren’t the sharpest knives in the drawer. When Rusev doesn’t come out, Big Cass realizes the problem. He tries to contact Enzo who just happens to be getting to the hotel room. Lana seduces Enzo who keeps trying to leave. Rusev is there of course and beats the tar out of Enzo. He does a great job of playing dead.

Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows are taking on Cesaro & Sheamus to determine who takes on New Day next week for the final defense before the Championship streak is attained. New Day is at ring side to add to the circus. No surprise that the match breaks out into a brawl with all three teams causing a DQ.

Charlotte came down to apologize to Ric Flair, except she didn’t mean it. Sasha ends up trying to make the save but gets her ass kicked. Charlotte drops her off in front of Ric and yells “There’s your athlete there!” That’s one way to continue the feud. Have fun running in place Bayley. – Kevin DiFrango

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