Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw – 2 Oct. ’17

Red Rocks Amphitheater just outside of Denver CO. Picture from

The WWE starts us off with a moment of silence for the Las Vegas Shooting victims. Then they give us the standard video package. This time it’s about Roman Reigns and The Miz. Seth Rollins gets to open the show by taking on Braun Strowman. Rollins is being more strategic than Dean Ambrose was a week ago but the result is not much different. Really loved Rollins selling of the punch (or forearm) that stopped his suicide dive in its’ tracks. Seth Rollins got a small hope spot. Running Power Slam for the win. Strowman gives Rollins a second one after the match. Strowman considers a third one when Dean Ambrose arrives. Ambrose catches Strowman coming back into the ring. It only delays the inevitable. Double choke slam followed by a Power Slam. Cesaro & Sheamus come out and give each a finisher. The WWE continuing to say we have nothing better for these four Universal Championship level wrestlers than an endless tag team feud.

The old “I’m going to get angry over diapers” routine from Mickie James. Alexa Bliss hides behind Nia Jax, so I suppose things are better between them story line wise again now. Bliss sets up a match between Jax & James.

Bray Wyatt is speaking nonsense again. I know you come here for the hard hitting analysis.

Corey Graves always has a way of getting me to laugh. His Layne Staley line in reference to Elias Samson killed me. Titus O’Neil is allowed back in the ring evidently. Apollo Crews is on the outside. Even the announcers are surprised at the amount of offense O’Neil gets in. Even though Samson gets distracted, he comes out on top.Hangs up O’Neil then follows up with a Drift Away for a win. Crews makes Samson back off attacking O’Neil after the match.

Nia Jax is first out the chute. Mickie James is second. For some reason, James is surprised that Alexa Bliss comes down to the ring. It serves as a catalyst for the usual Jax beat down. This match is really similar to the one between Rollins & Strowman in format. We all know this won’t end with Jax beating up the women’s tag team champions. James gets another small come back. Tornado DDT by James. Bliss interferes to cause the DQ. Bliss comes out to trash talk James. Bliss gets whooped instead.

We get a video recapping Enzo Amore‘s party and ensuing beat down. Even the footage after Raw went off air. Amore shouldn’t be able to stand on his own this week. Yet he gets to stand there and say nothing for a promo.

Mickie James gets a Women’s Championship match at TLC courtesy of Kurt Angle.

Matt Hardy comes out with shortened hair. Him and Jason Jordan had a run in with Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson so they have a tag team match against each other. Booker T gets to continue lampooning Jordan for reasons that didn’t happen. I’m so confused still by his stance. Hardy takes a beating. Jordan gets a hot tag. Graves asks Booker about his vendetta with Jordan. Booker says Jordan was handed something. So a short successful run in NXT then a botched run on SDL then a terrible angle with his “father” is being handed something? Booker doesn’t understand words. Matt gets hot tag 2.0. Anderson breaks up a pin. Jordan tries to eliminate Anderson but gets tossed into the barricade. Hardy goes after Anderson on the apron. Gallows kicks Hardy. Magic Killer for the reverse victory in logic world. This should have happened last week if they want to continue in Booker T “Jason Jordan was handed too much, too soon plus tag teams can’t gell this quickly” angle.

Roman Reigns knows that Ambrose & Rollins are ready to get pay back on Cesaro & Sheamus. He’s staying focused on becoming the IC Champion.

The Miz comes through the crowd a la The Shield. Naturally he was flanked by Bo Dallas & Curtis Axel. This pre-match beat down by Reigns in Dallas & Axel is awesome. It’s exactly what someone should have done before now. The Miz gulp is almost as good as Vince McMahon’s. He tries to beg off but Reigns keeps tracking him down. The Miz eventually catches him and takes over. Miz tries to get a count out win. Reigns gets back in at 9 but gets DDTed in the process. Much to Stone Cold’s dismay, it’s not a finisher. The Miz getting in the Miz Kicks. Reigns catches the last kick and power bombs Miz. Reigns goes for a Superman Punch and Miz turns it into a Skull Crushing Finale. Superman Punch by Reigns. Miz kicks out at two. Cesaro & Sheamus attack Reigns to cause a DQ. A beat down ensues. I figured they’d drag out the reunion a bit longer.The Miz, Cesaro & Sheamus triple power bomb Reigns for good measure.

Finn Balor isn’t much of one to talk. He wants Bray Wyatt to come out and fight him. Now Wyatt wants Balor to bring the Demon. Abigail is alive and she’s dying to meet Balor. Poor Finn has to act concerned that he’s going to lose to someone he beat twice already.

Bayley, Sasha Banks, Charlotte, Becky Lynch & others hype Asuka. The Raw ladies mentioned are taking on Emma & Alicia Fox. Bayley got the beat down early. Banks gets to beat down Fox. An Emma distraction gives the heels the advantage again. Booker T praising Emma as if she’s the second coming of Trish Stratus continues his (or the WWE’s) weird logic. She’s done nothing to prove she’ll get in the title picture. Bayley gets a hot tag against Fox. Alicia jaw jacks Bayley to stop the momentum. Emma walks away from Fox trying to make a tag. Bayley to Belly for the win. Booker continues his praise of Emma even after she hangs out her partner for no apparent reason. He even agreed she shouldn’t have done that.

Enzo Amore is sticking to his guns. 205 Live is the main event two weeks running. Enzo says he does deserve the Cruiser Weight Champion. He is money. Hahaha. He is just bragging about his money. Now he’s pulling out more clauses. If anyone touches him tonight, they get fired. He’s got no opponents. People still chant when he calls his opponents are “SWAFT.” The Cruiser Weight Division surrounds him. Enzo then talks smack to every one of them. Kurt Angle comes out and announces a new signee to the Cruiser Weight Roster. Kalisto comes out. Salida Del Sol in short order. People still remember the Luch-A chant. He was quite popular.

Roman Reigns is hacking up a lung. Dean Ambrose shows up. Seth Rollins strolls into the picture. They all nod in agreement and part ways. Gotta save the fist bump for later, right? – Kevin DiFrango

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