Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw – 7 May ’18

St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York City. Saved from Photograph courtesy of Steven Kelley.

The WWE starts us off with Kurt Angle making the announcement that there will be a Men’s and Women’s Money In The Bank Ladder match. Braun Strowman is the first man out to throw his hat in the ring. Kevin Owens comes out and accuses Braun of being “bad” monster. Of course, this leads to a match between the two, right now! A Tornado DDT by Owens is what finally stops Strowman’s match long assault. Strowman promptly runs into a ring post to get another count out attempt. Strowman choke slams Owens. KO works over the hamstring. Strowman misses a charge. Super Kick by Owens. Frog Splash on Strowman who kicks out. Owens attempts a Pop Up Power Bomb. Strowman clothes lines him. Strowman charges over Owens. I find it hilarious that the announcers were just questioning Strowman’s gas tank. Running Power Slam for the win.

Roman Reigns gets interviewed back stage. He’s getting screwed over by management. He can’t control back stage politics. He can just go out and win.

Bayley gets a selfie promo. Breezango gets one too. Goldust is talking to Kurt Angle. Jinder Mahal comes in complaining too. Angle will consider him for MITB if he is impressive against Chad Gable.

No Way Jose, Apollo Crews & Titus O’Neil are teaming against Baron Corbin & The Revival. I’m not sure the last time I remember a camera man (assumption) shoot  Dana Brooke like it was oogling her? I’m not arguing but it seems like something the WWE has gotten away from. End of Days by Corbin after Jose missed the tag.

Sasha Banks vs Ruby Riott with Liv Tyler & Sarah Logan vs Ember Moon for a MITB Spot – Riott takes an early break to consult with the Squad. Banks and Moon go at it. Riott comes in after Banks is dumped outside. Moon takes over on Riott. Moon takes down Riott with kicks and a Downward Spiral like move. The Squad causes a distraction which leads to Riott taking over. Banks makes the save. Riott takes down both ladies but can’t get a pin on either. Banks comes back in and cleans up on Riott. Moon takes out Banks. She flips onto the Squad. Riott takes out Banks. Moon dives onto Riott. Moon only gets a two count after rolling Riott back into the ring. The Squad takes out Moon. Banks fights back and wards off Riott. Banks rolls through on a power bomb by Riott. The Squad breaks up the pin and attack Banks. Bayley makes the save momentarily. Eclipse on both Banks & Riott for the win. What a fun match. I really liked the end. Banks fighting for the Bank Statement when the Eclipse came.

Ember Moon is considered an “under dog” just so she can cut this promo. She is just seizing opportunities that are given to her.

Bobby Lashley is given a video package because no one saw his good work in TNA. He even gets a sit down interview with Renee Young. He tells us all about his family. I’m all for different presentation but I still don’t care about Lashley.

Sami Zayn is worried about a cloud of conspiracy. Kevin Owens thinks Zayn has it easy with Finn Balor & Roman Reigns. Zayn apologizes for slapping Owens. Zayn wants Owens to have his back tonight. Owens isn’t enthused about the prospect.

Sunil Singh introduces Jinder Mahal. Chad Gable is the opponent. I’m all for more Gable. Jonathan Coachman makes this match interesting by making a terrible analogy. Gable connects with a moonsault for a two count. Mahal starts a beat down again after a high knee. Gable rolls up Mahal for two. Gable gets hung out to dry. Khallas for the win. Mahal attacks Gable after he pie faces Singh.

Alexa Bliss wants a chance at MITB. The Ascension have a promo after her. The ladies have been grouped with some anchors on the male side.

Zack Ryder is talking to Kurt Angle so that Angle can say Woo Woo Woo, No Bro to Mahal. I’m confused.

Drew McIntyre & Dolph Ziggler are going to squash Heath Slater & Rhyno. I’m going to say McIntyre took the better of the routes after 3MB. Claymore/Zig Zag for the win.

Elias gets in his licks at pancakes, conga lines and Long Island. Bobby Roode is his opponent. Roode takes a back body drop. Elias wears him down with a Bank Statement. It’s like they’re Spider Man pointing at each other. Elias power bombs Roode but only gets two. Elias talks trash. Roode capitalizes. Glorious DDT. Roode wants to be in line for a chance at MITB.

Seth Rollins hits the ring. He is our Intercontinental Champ. MITB isn’t his focus now. He says the Miz was right, this belt should be the focus of Raw. Open Challenge time. Mojo Rawley answers the call. Not who I expected but hey, the champ always wins the first challenge. He’s ready for Monday Night Rawley. He gets to use his power early including a tackle into the barricade. Downward Spiral into the turn buckle gets things moving for Rollins. Suicide Dive times two. Side Kick to the face only gets Rollins two. Rawley counters a Stomp into a Side Slam. He explodes after only getting two. Rawley with the Pounce. Rollins with a Super Kick as he charged in. Rainmaker Knee. Stomp for the win.

The Deleters of the World are taking on Bo Dallas & Curtis Axel. The banter between the announcers is far more interesting than this match. Dallas & Axel taking a dive into the Lake of Reincarnation wouldn’t be a bad thing. Wyatt runs over Axel with the flying block. Urinogi on Axe.  Joint Sister Abigail for the win.

Natalya‘s selfie promo is followed by Baron Corbin. The WWE is intentionally sabotaging the women, aren’t they? I know they aren’t but they have paired them with some terrible guys.

Sami Zayn vs Finn Balor vs Roman Reigns for a chance at MITB – Reigns is taking it to the smaller guys early. Zayn & Balor beat down Reigns. This match & the women’s match really took advantage of the “No DQ” stipulation. Helluva Kick on Reigns outside. Balor wonder for a moment then gives him a Coup De Grace. Zayn attacks Balor. Overhead Kick by Balor slows Zayn’s momentum. Final Cut by Balor gets a two count. Zayn tosses Balor outside. Balor acts like his knee is hurt. It only suckers in Zayn for a Sling Blade. Balor charges and eats a boot. Reigns takes out Zayn. Reigns rams him into the post. Drive By on Zayn. Balor shoves Reigns into the steps. Balor goes up. Zayn counters. Exploder Suplex in the corner. Superman Punch as Zayn goes for a Helluva Kick. Sling Blade by Balor. He goes for the Coup de Grace. Reigns moves out. Jinder Mahal grabs Reigns legs. Helluva Kick on Reigns. Balor drop kicks Zayn into the corner. Coup De Grace for the win. I’m no fan of Jinder vs Reigns but here we are. At least Balor is in the MITB match. – Kevin DiFrango

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply