Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw – 4 June ’18

Wilfredo Lam – Arpas cardinales. Part of the Menil Collection in Houston TX

The WWE has thrown the script out the window for the beginning of the show recently so it’s mildly refreshing that Elias is starting off the show. He isn’t really a traditional talking segment though so does it count? He really gets the boos when he insults the local town. Seth Rollins saunters down to the ring. Elias invites him in while he prepares to swing his guitar. Rollins grabs a chair from under the ring. Even if that wasn’t a fake guitar, I’d take the chair every day of the week. Jinder Mahal ends up attacking Rollins from behind. Roman Reigns comes out to make the save. The crowd is confused. Kurt Angle comes out and makes the tag match, NEXT!

The heels don’t want any part of their direct adversary so a four way brawl starts the match. Rollins ends up being the man for the baby faces because Reigns sure as hell isn’t taking the beat down. I was wrong about that. Reigns gets the second beat down. Sunil Singh ends up being the difference maker. Rollins ends up getting hot tag 2.0. Mahal ends the hottness but Reigns makes the save and cleans out Mahal. Singh distracts Rollins. He draws Reigns ire too. Mahal attacks Reigns from behind tossing him into the ring post. Rollins nails him with a suicide dive but re-injures his neck. Singh tries to hit Rollins with a chair but Rollins steals it. Rollins runs with it into the ring chasing Singh. Elias with a DDT onto the dropped chair. Drift Away for the victory.

Curt Hawkins has a microphone and is in the ring. He promised free tacos if he doesn’t get to 0-200. James Harden is from Houston. Just as he’s ready to finish him off, Baron Corbin comes out. End of Days to cause the DQ win for Harden. Should I be happy that Hawkins got air time or that Corbin is stuck in a feud with him? Corbin is back on the TV. He went to Stephanie McMahon to get help. What a bunch of weak tough guy heels. Stephanie appointed Corbin “Constable.” Whatever that means.

Nia Jax is taking on Natalya to make a point to Ronda Rousey. The last is on the head set for the match. Always funny when she says pressure makes her better considering what happened in her UFC career. Natalya makes a come back but tries for a slam. Ronda is cracking me up with some of her answers though because she was right both times. You can’t train for head butts. You just eat them. Also when asked about Natalya using judo in the match and failing, she gives the easy reminder that she’s an Olympian. Natalya tweaks her knee. Samoan Drop for the win. Rousey comes down to make sure Jax doesn’t take advantage of Natalya after the match.

Bobby Roode is not concerned about Money In The Bank. It’s going to be Glorious when he wins. He gets serious when talking about Braun Strowman. He just wants to survive tonight. Refreshingly honest goal. Roode keeps using the usual big man tactics aka kick out the legs and let Braun run himself into the ring post. Roode sets a ladder trap for Strowman. Braun snaps it in half. Roode runs but gets caught. Power Slam for the win.

Kevin Owens doesn’t care about anyone in the MITB match. Including Finn Balor who his opponent is tonight. He’s going to embarrass Balor tonight and show everyone he’s a phony.

Natalya has ice on her knee. Nia Jax didn’t try to injure her. Um, no kidding. She hurt it running the ropes. You had nothing to do with it. Rousey isn’t pleased with Jax’s presence but nothing happens.

Matt Hardy & Bray Wyatt come out to warn the winners of the tag team championships. The WWE hasn’t done much for the Woken World. Corey Graves points out the obvious, big men are targets in Battle Royals. Dolph Ziggler is out first so that he & Drew McIntyre can beat a bunch of people up before peacefully leaving. Viktor & Fandango with their partners get eliminated back to back. Dash Wilder gets tossed. The final four are The B Team and Heath Slater & Rhyno. The later of which gets bumped off the apron to give The B Team a chance at the Deleters of World.

Bobby Lahley & Sami Zayn get more mic time for reasons that I won’t fully understand. Actually, making fun of inspirational quotes is somewhat funny. So that was the, um, best part of the segment? Zayn ends up questioning Lashley’s service in the Army. It angers Lashley but not enough for him to do anything. This feud is not going well.

Jinder Mahal is a threat to Roman Reigns. They have weird dueling promos being interviewed by different back stage announcers. Reigns goes to find Mahal to talk to him face to face. They start brawling back stage. The agents break them up.

Alexa Bliss, Sasha Banks & Ember Moon are taking on the Riott Squad. Ruby Riott starts off against Moon. Both ladies are really being talked up. Bliss tags in only to fake an injury. Well, she was a weird choice for that team. Bayley could have been on the team. Sarah Logan gets a near fall after a head butt. Riott stops Moon from making the hot tag. Morgan tags in so she can take the beating from a hot tagged Banks. Morgan pancakes Banks. She then stomps on her back as she tries to get back up. Logan & Riott take out Moon. Banks keeps on surviving the assault of the Riott Squad. Banks takes out Riott & Logan with Meteora. Bayley comes out and makes the save. Banks tags her in and the ref allows it. Bayley to Belly for the win. Baron Corbin wonders why this happened. He wants Angle to inform the ladies they actually lost. Does it matter now? We know they don’t get the “loser’s purse” because they all have contracts. The ladies get mad at Bayley. Corbin is talking to the referee. Shenanigans I could deal without.

Finn Balor vs Kevin Owens is the main event. A Flip Dive later in the match grabs my attention. Up to that point it had been the feeling out period with each man having limited control in chunks. Owens works over Balor’s left arm. Balor dodges a senton. It doesn’t help. A Double Stomp after a reversal does the trick though. Owens turns it back around with a Super Kick. Sling Blade by Balor. Corner drop kick into the turn buckles. Owens crotches Balor by draping himself over the ropes. Owens keeps kicking Balor in the corner. He doesn’t listen to the ref. Owens gets DQed. Owens frog splashes Balor. Owens climbs a ladder. He can’t dive onto Balor who recovers. Coup De Gras from near the top of the ladder. – Kevin DiFrango

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