Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw – 3 Dec. ’18

The Hobby Center for the Performing Arts in Houston TX. Designed by Robert A.M. Stern. Picture from wikipedia.org.

The WWE started us off with a George H.W. Bush 10 Bell Salute. Then we got Ronda Rousey & Natalya taking on Nia Jax & Tamina. The Riott Squad comes out to distract Rousey & Nattie. Tamina & Jax take out Rousey. The Squad takes out Nattie. That was a nasty looking power bomb through a table.

Alexa Bliss comes out next. She brings out Sasha Banks & Bayley. Why are they even coming out? At least Bayley points out that they’re ready to be jumped again. The one plant gets a question again this week. Great, a second plant. No one seems entertained by this segment. Good gravy, third plant. Holy crap, a fourth fan. Finally, they broach the subject of Women’s Tag Team Championships. It took long enough. Mickie James, Alicia Fox & Dana Brooke come out. Bliss “reprimands” them and makes a match with Brooke being relegated to ring side.Corey Graves has to act like it’s not possible to create a title in the WWE. I feel bad for him. It could be even worse that neither Michael Cole nor Renee Young have this response. Back Stabber into the Bayley to Belly for the win.

Alexa Bliss is confronted by Rousey. She is going to get to Jax & Tamina sometime tonight. Bliss is ready to give Rousey a new partner. Ronda doesn’t trust her so she wants to choose her own partner. Bliss agrees.

The Baron Corbin political ad was the first decent thing tonight. It’s only problem is I don’t care much about GM angles. Bobby Roode & Chad Gable want a re-match against AoP. Corbin has to win against Drake Maverick tonight to get the match. Roode asks what the catch is. Corbin says no one else is allowed at ring side. That doesn’t seem like a catch but I have a feeling it will unravel during the match.

Scott Dawson ends up getting a three on one match against Lucha House Party. I’m going to just start trying to list positives. As for this match, I feel like I could finally tell the difference between Gran Metalik, Lince Dorado and Kalisto. Not because I don’t know what each looks like, but because they’ve been presented as a three piece with no distinguishing factors. They did some minor distinguishing of all three tonight.

Baron Corbin is prepping for Drew McIntyre Appreciation Night. Corbin gives him a “Gold Medal of Excellence.” McIntyre pretends like the stuff didn’t happen with Ziggler. He’s been molding Raw into his shape. He tells us that Finn Balor is a boy in a man’s world. Dolph Ziggler ends up coming out. He’s not feeling very appreciated. McIntyre is completely unlikable to Ziggler but no one cares because Ziggler hasn’t been relevant “in ten years” according to McIntyre. It hasn’t been that long but he’s right, no one cares because it’s been too long since he’s been relevant. They end up having a match. It’s a one sided ass kicking. Finn Balor comes down to check out the action. Ziggler gets a hope spot with one of his big swinging DDTs. Ziggler tries to fight fire with fire. It back fires quickly. McIntyre throws Ziggler back into the ring which distracts the ref. Balor drop kicks McIntyre into barricade. McIntyre rolls in at 9. Ziggler super kicks him as he gets up. Ziggler wins.

McIntyre is even more mad than he was before. It didn’t seem possible to me since he was a Scottish Psychopath already. I mean, that’s as bad as it gets.

Who Wants to Walk With Elias? Before he can get into his song, Lio Rush comes out and is very annoying as usual. I’m still not sure why the booty shot is Bobby Lashley‘s favorite. They get into a scuffle. Lashley limps off but isn’t caught by an even slower moving Elias. Rush gets tossed back on stage by Balor. He gets a guitar to the back. Even the balsa wood guitars can’t go over the head any more.

Jinder Mahal wants Corbin to breathe. I think he awards him with a match against Finn Balor. For some reason, Heath Slater & Rhyno have to fight to keep their job on Raw. Assuming Rhyno wants to retire?

Bobby Roode is taking on Drake Maverick. As everyone should have expected, Gable is being beat down by Akam & Rezar. Corbin makes it a 3 on 2 match. Roode tried to get a pin fall before AoP could come out. He hits the Glorious DDT but AoP breaks up the pin. Super Collider. Maverick asks for and gets the pin.

Dean Ambrose is comes out as Bane with a SWAT Team. I’m all for carrying on the gas mask theme but going with a jacket very similar to Bane is silly. Ambrose does some more agitating of Seth Rollins. He ends up coming out and attacking the SWAT Team. He dispatches of them quickly. Ambrose catches Rollins with a gas mask to the face as he leapt from the barricade. Ambrose seems to complete the beat down a Dirt Deeds DDT on the outside. The SWAT Team throws Rollins back into the ring. Another Dirty Deeds. We had a lot of black clothing in this segment.

They finally make Dean Ambrose a privacy issue for Renee Young. Good gravy, you could have done that from the start! Instead you made Young sound like a moron. Or someone getting divorced.

Nia Jax threatens Charley. Then Ember Moon who is the only woman left on the roster not used tonight. She’s going to destroy Rousey tonight who isn’t 100%. She’s going to get back her title. She screams loud enough to fuzz out the mic.

Heath Slater ends up getting the win. It’s depressing so they move on quickly. It appears as if Mahal is taking on Balor. Corbin makes Slater a referee. Ouch.

Mahal has said match with Balor next. The Singh Brothers push Balor off the top ropes when the ref is turned around. Apollo Crews comes out for the save. Mahal goes out to attack Crews. Balor flip dives onto Mahal. Coup De Grace shortly after for the win.

Mcintyre attacks Balor while he is being interviewed.  McIntyre tells Balor he could finish him now. He mostly leaves him alone.

Tamina & Jax attack Rousey before Ember Moon can make her way to the ring. This tactic does not help for long. Moon & Rousey are taking it to Tamina. Jax distracts the ref so that Tamina can create an opening. An enziguri creates the opening for Moon to get Rousey the hot tag. Rousey cleans Tamina’s clock. Rousey throws her into their corner. She begs for Jax to tag in. Tamina tags her but Jax tags back out. Rousey strikes like no one else. Rousey walks up Tamina and is supposed to kick her butair balls too much. Jax breaks up the momentum. Rousey disposes of Jax. Eclipse on a stunned Tamina. Arm Bar submission for the win. – Kevin DiFrango

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