Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw – 22 April ’19

Terrance Hill in Des Moines. Saved from the Photo by Lee Nevin.

The WWE starts us off with HHH coming to the ring. Michael Cole then tells us that we’ve got two 3 man singles matches tonight to determine who will face Seth Rollins at Money In The Bank. Rollins then hits the ring. They act all chummy. HHH gives us a recap of how tonight is running. Samoa Joe, Rey Mysterio, Drew McIntyre, The Miz, Baron Corbin and AJ Styles all come out and state their case in very abbreviated form because that’s how this segment runs. Seth isn’t sweating anyone because he’s freakin. then burning it down

AJ Styles, Rey Mysterio & Samoa Joe is up first. Poor Joe keeps getting picked on so he can rest for the start of the match. When Joe does pop up, he breaks up a possible pin for Mysterio. Styles saves Rey from getting pinned. Mysterio saves Joe from a pin. It’s the cycle of life in a three man match. Joe gets out of the way of a 619 only to be hit with a corkscrew plancha. Samoa Joe ends up double back dropping Styles & Mysterio from the middle rope. Joe gets the Kokina Clutch on both Rey & AJ but the later rolls out of it for a pin. Rey gives Samoa Joe a 619. Rey goes for a spring board move but gets caught by Styles. Power bomb on Rey. Styles Clash onto Joe. Styles then pins Joe for the win.

The IIconics get to run down Naomi while she waits in the ring. It’s not a very good one. Naomi ends up pinning Billie Kay in short order. The IIconics are not pleased but are still tag team champions.

McIntyre, Corbin & The Miz have their match. This match has a much different feel than the other one since it’s two heels and one face. The Miz keeps getting beat up by which ever heels stands their ground at the moment. Claymore by McIntyre. Corbin tosses McIntyre from the ring. Corbin makes the pin to face AJ Styles later tonight. Hahaha. I can get behind Corbin winning in sleeze ball fashions. The WWE might actually make me like him if they stay the course.

AJ Styles isn’t sweating Baron Corbin because he’s got better accolades than Corbin. He isn’t wrong.

Sami Zayn still isn’t enjoying being cheered for. He’s taking a page out of Daniel Bryan’s book and using his own life experiences to become a heel. The fans are the problem with the WWE, not the corporate structure. He wants to be anywhere by Des Moines Iowa. He tells people to take a trip. Zayn tells all the fans to buzz off.

Cedric Alexander gets another video package. So did Cesaro come over to Raw by himself? How weird. I really expected him to stay in a team with Sheamus with how long they’d been together. Both can thrive this way but aren’t they setting up Cesaro for a lose in this match with someone who is debuting on the main roster? Alexander jumps into an European Uppercut for the Cesaro win. Even the lay out of the match had me thinking Alexander would win. Good for Cesaro though. Don’t understand why you don’t have them in separate matches to win though.

The Usos run through all of the tag teams that they’re ready to face. Jey even makes fun of Jimmy for his DUI. Wow. The Revival interrupt them.

The Viking Raiders have a new name. They get to toss around the Lucha House Party without match stipulations.

Zack Ryder & Curt Hawkins get asked about the Viking Raiders. Ryder talks Hawkins into being positive about the situation. Ryder still doesn’t sound completely enthused about taking on Eric & Ivar but gives it some gusto this time.

Becky Lynch comes out to face Alicia Fox. She runs down Lacey Evans first. Evans then shows up to throw her own barbs. Evans wants to show Lynch how a Lady actually acts. Lynch is ready to collect her debt on Evans at MITB. Fox gets in entirely too much offense. Dis-Arm-Her for the win. Just as the bell rings, Evans enters and drops Lynch with a right hand.

Baron Corbin states his case for facing Seth Rollins. He’s not looking past AJ Styles. He’s looking right through him. Honest;y, best night for Corbin in a while. Especially if he wins, which would make some sense given the heel/face dynamic him and Rollins would have.

Ricochet is taking on Robert Roode. Roode wants to rebrand after losing Chad Gable. I like him as a heel much more. So is Ricochet a singles wrestler now too? Corey Graves talks about all the babies that will be made because of Roode’s new Rick Rude style mustache. Neither Renee Young not Cole suppress their laughs. I just keep hoping this match doesn’t turn out like the Cedric Alexander match. Cole does tell us that Ricochet is a singles wrestler now. Good for him and Aleister Black. They’re both fantastic. Ricochet goes for the 630. Roode dodges it. He then tosses Ricochet into the middle turn buckle. Glorious DDT for the win. What a weird night for matches.

Bray Wyatt is back with Firefly Fun House which is kind of like Pee Wee’s Playhouse. If I am supposed to be entertained by this, it isn’t working. He isn’t going to go back to a slob loser. He does look quite a bit slimmer. Good for him too.

AJ Styles & Baron Corbin are in the main event. The announcers are really playing up an injury for Styles so that’s making me think Corbin is winning even more than the obvious face/heel dynamic already noted. Corbin breaks up the Calf Crusher by slamming Styles’ head into the mat. Corbin hangs himself out to dry. Phenomenal Forearm. AJ Styles is going to face Rollins. The one match I expect the heel to win in, he loses. Of course.

Kevin DiFrango

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