Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw – 14 Oct. ’19

Clyfford Still Museum in Denver CO. Designed by Brad Cloepfil of Allied Works Architecture. Picture from saundercinc.com

A Pittsburgh Steelers game kept me from doing this column two weeks ago. Last week, I had my first home Columbus Bluejackets game. Time to pick the last remaining blog post back up and run with it.

We get a retrospective of the Seth Rollins/ Bray Wyatt feud. Becky Lynch ends up being the first one out. She tells us that Sasha Banks is out due to injury so she has to wrestle Charlotte Flair again. Charlotte comes out and pretends to want to be friends with Lynch again. Just when Lynch caves, Charlotte pops her and starts a brawl. We get a commercial then the match officially starts. Becky’s head gets rammed into the post to prompt another commercial. The match was back and forth prior to that. Lynch starts to make her come back after the break. Charlotte counters a drop kick. She locks in a Boston Crab. Lynch makes her way to the ropes. Natural Selection gets two for Charlotte. Becky goes for a Dis-Arm-Her but gets throw into the turn buckles. Charlotte follows up with a Big Boot. Lynch kicks out. Lynch gets her spot at a near fall with a second rope leg drop. Charlotte Spears Lynch, who kicks out again. Charlotte starts to laugh to herself. Lynch catches her with a Crucifix Pin for the win.

Charley Caruso interviews Seth Rollins. He thought he put an end to their feud at Hell In a Cell. Seth must not have experienced that Mandible Claw at the end of the show in his little world. Rollins is ready to go Fiend Hunting. He’s going to end this. And Burn It Down.

Seth Rollins, Charlotte & Andrade with Zelina Vega are headed to Raw.

Brock Lesnar & The New Day are headed to Smackdown

Mad Money is a segment on Raw. I don’t drink enough. Ali is put in a match against Andrade. Zelina Vega talks him up on the way to the ring as the present of Raw now that he got drafted there. Andrade beats down Ali for much of the match. Ali finally gets a head of steam. Vega blocks him from a dive once but he executes the second time. Ali rolls Andrade back into the ring. Vega distracts Ali again then head scissors him to the outside.

The Kabuki Warriors, Rusev & Aleister Black are on Raw.

Daniel Bryan & Bayley are on Smackdown.

Colin Jost & Michael Che get a segment that is centered around Braun Strowman. It existed.

Robert Roode & Dolph Ziggler come out to defend the Raw Tag Team Championships against the War Raiders. Erik & Ivar clean house to start the match. Ziggler takes out Erik’s leg to gain the advantage. Ziggler Zig Zags him into some chairs on the outside. Roode & Ziggler work over Erik. Ivar finally gets tagged in and he cleans house solo. Erik gets tagged back in too quickly. The heels take advantage when Ziggler pulls the ropes on a spring board attempt by Ivar. Zig Zag/Spinebuster Combo only gets a two count. Roode & Ziggler go for a double team. It back fires. Ziggler gets things under control again. Glorious DDT on Erik. Ivar breaks up the pin. Erik gets the tag again. The quick tag back to Erik doesn’t back fire this time. Viking Experience for the win. The Viking Raiders are your new Raw Tag Team Champions.

The Viking Raiders get a celebration speech back stage. The Raid is Here.

Cedric Alexander, Umberto Carrillo and Erick Rowan are headed to Raw.

Shinsuke Nakamura and Ali are headed to Smackdown

Aleister Black has a match against Eric Young. Black finally has a name for his new submission finisher. It’s called the Dark Ritual. Good deal. I was going to make a joke about it not being named yet until Dio said it after the finish of the match.

Buddy Murphy, Jinder Mahal and R Truth are headed to Raw.

Robert Roode & Dolph Ziggler and Carmella are headed to Smackdown.

The Street Profits get their usual hype segment. They are excited about being on Raw. The OC come in and rain on their parade. The OC ends up jumping and getting the better of them. Welcome to your first Raw feud.

Ricochet is taking on Shelton Benjamin. Benjamin has the upper hand after throwing Ricochet in the air and letting him land face first. Ricochet comes back with a spring board clothes line followed by a standing Shooting Star Press. Benjamin climbs the top ropes to meet Ricochet. He tries to T Bone Suplex him but Ricochet lands on his feet. Recoil for the win.

Lana is getting a a massage. That’s it. I’m sure we’ll get a pay off later but why not just make it one segment? They do come right back to it. Bobby Lashley comes in and starts massaging her.

Jerry Lawler moderates the contract signing with Braun Strowman & Tyson Fury. Braun gives the usual “My World” speech. Fury vows to knock Braun out. They stand up. Braun breaks the table. Fury grabs the pen, fiddles with it then breaks it. Fury walks away laughing. I got a kick out of that.

Samoa Joe, Akira Tozawa and Shelton Benjamin are headed to Raw.

The Miz and King Corbin are headed to Smackdown.

Buddy Murphy comes out for his first match as an official member of Raw. He is taking on Cedric Alexander. This match should be a banger. Alexander gets pushed off the top ropes to the floor for the first big move of the match. These guys are going for broke with their moves. Murphy’s Flip Dive to the outside nearly over shoots Alexander. Muprhpy gets tossed hard into the barricade by a Suicide Dive. Alexander kicks out of a power bomb. Murphy’s Law follows for the win. It was a fun match.

The Street Profits want to take on The OC. They promise a mystery partner. Ford vows that they want the Smoke.

Rey Mysterio, Titus O’Neil and Liv Morgan are headed to Raw.

Shorty Gable and Elias are headed to Smackdown.

Natalya & Lacey Evans are teaming up. Honestly, heel Nattie is better and she can only help Evans so it seems like a match made in wrestling heaven to me. They are taking on the Kabuki WArriors. I get completely side tracked when Dio calls Kaire Sane the Gogo Yubari , from Kill Bill, of the WWE. Wow, that’s quite a call. Natalya gets worked over by the Warriors. Lacey Evans is going to get a hot tag. She gets to toss around Sane. Asuka distracts Lacey. Sane takes over and stomps Evans off the ropes. Sliding Forearm by Sane. Asuka tags in but Evans doesn’t see it. Woman’s Right on Sane. Asuka rolls up Evans for the win.

Bray Wyatt has his Firefly Funhouse. Rollins attacks Wyatt. He then sets fire to the Funhouse. He’s a damn pyromaniac. Seth Rollins is a terrible architect. There’s a laundry list of them in cinema nad literature, Paul Newman in The Towering Inferno, Woody Harrleson in Indecent Proposal and Howard Roark in The Fountainhead. Seth Rollins may take the cake for worst architect on that list.

Kevin DiFrango

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