Dusty’s Blog: Diary of the new Monday Night Wars

The new Monday Night Wars are so exciting, you're not going to want to turn your TV off ever!!!

So about a million years ago, back in the early ’90s, I remember reading this Sports Illustrated column where the guy did a diary type piece tracking the several college football bowl games that were on in one day. And I thought it was funny, and well written, and a good concept, and so I decided to jack it for Stunt Granny on what is being hyped as the most important night in pro wrestling in god only knows how long. Speaking of long, that’s what this is. Here is my story:

7:00 p.m. I turn on Impact. Lord help me.

7:03 p.m. TNA has the worst announce team, maybe ever. And yes, I realize that David Crockett exists. The two idiots hype Bubba the Love Sponge as a new backstage interviewer. What an embarrassing name for a new viewer to hear.

7:05 p.m. Talking to fans about their opinions is always cringe-worthy. Bad idea. They’re most likely plants anyway, so what’s the point?

7:06 p.m. The Motor City Machine Guns come out to job in the red birdcage clusterfuck match.

7:07 p.m. Jay Lethal really, really sucks.

7:09 pm. Is that cage made of plastic? It seems awfully poorly constructed.

Me: Why are there so many people in this match?

Becky: Because zebra finches need to be in a large group.

7:11 p.m. Tazz: There’s so much going on – it’s hard to follow!

Well, right.

(more…)

The End Is Nigh

General Russo leading his troops to battle.

Last year’s Fiesta Bowl college football game drew a 10.4 rating (what is that, about 11 million viewers? Probably more), and was the third highest rated college bowl game of the year. This year’s Fiesta Bowl, pitting the number three ranked and undefeated TCU against the number six ranked and also undefeated Boise State in what should undoubtedly be an excellent football game, will take place Monday night.

World Wrestling Entertainment’s flagship program, Raw, which consistently draws ratings in the 3.0-3.5 range, will also take place on Monday night.

It would stand to reason that most sports fans/jock types/whatever are going to be watching one or both of those two things. Undaunted by this insurmountable sanity, TNA marches on. They will also be airing a show on Monday night. They expect this to be well viewed. They do not expect this to be a colossal failure.

Man, I wish there was some other way to watch TNA’s show. Like, if a website (this one
http://www.spike.com/show/20271
, for example) were to show full airings of Impact after they happened. Or like, if there was a replay of Impact on Thursday night, or something like that. Or, if I were illegally inclined, to go on a torrents site and download it that way. I guess there isn’t, though. Oh well. – Dusty

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