This might be the worst picture I've ever used.
It is with sincere apologies that I post this article a day late and a donut short. I have no excuse, since I had it written and it was explicitly talked about on the audio I just did with Eric (scroll down, yo). I just plain forgot to post it. So a little bit of it is outdated, but it’s a good read nonetheless. Not only did I follow suit from Eric and try to predict who would move to Raw and who would move to Smackdown, but since I know that around this time of year they always fire about 5-10 people, I tried to predict those as well. As you will see, I had some success and some failure. In any event, I have all caps’d the people I am moving, so better for you to see them with my dear.
RAW
Top Tier
John Cena – The face of the company, so he should remain on the flagship show.
Triple H – Should be used both as a top level main event attraction, *and* a guy that puts over people in the second tier to help build them up.
Big Show – Solid top tier guy mired in the tag team scene right now, which has breathed new life into his career and will make it fresh again when he goes back to singles.
CHRIS JERICHO – Since Raw is the talking show, let’s put the best talker in the company on there. Also helps fill the void left by Shawn Michaels’ retirement.
Second Tier
Sheamus – Being groomed for a top tier spot but isn’t there yet. He will be soon.
Kofi Kingston – They seem to be behind him and want to push him in a meaningful way. A feud with Jericho would get you a long ways there.
Ted DiBiase – With his former Legacy buddies moving to Smackdown, will be allowed to forge out a character on his own. Give him time, the potential is there.
DREW MCINTYRE – Because every single stupid year they do something “shocking” like this, so he takes over the second tier championship role with the Miz moving to Smackdown. He’s Vince’s boy, so now is the time to step up to the plate.
JOHN MORRISON – You know what? Put him back with Melina, take advantage of his charisma, feud him with the right people, and you’ve got a top tier guy a year or two down the road.
KANE – Serviceable guy who can lose to people and never seems to lose his cred with the casual fans.
DOLPH ZIGGLER – Because I think he occupies the same sort of space that Jack Swagger does, so with Swagger on Smackdown, let’s move him to Raw and let him try to get to the next level that way.
TYSON KIDD & DAVID HART SMITH – They seem to be due for a bigger push now, so of course it’s time for them to move to the A show. Tyson Kidd has *it*.
Third Tier
SHAD – Because they always seem to split up teams that have just broken up, and he’s the big guy, so to my mind, he’s more likely to move over to Raw.
Mark Henry – Solid, likeable guy to keep around and lose to people.
Yoshi Tatsu – They seem to really like him. Not sure how he’ll make it up the ladder, though, and could eventually end up being a non-annoying Tajiri filling out the midcard.
Primo – Has some charisma, but is not likely to move up the card from this here spot.
Chris Masters – Perhaps just fodder for Shad as he moves his way up the card. Could be fired at any time.
Chavo Guerrero – The ultimate cannon fodder, but seems to have a job 4 Life.
Zack Ryder – Cannon fodder of the comedic kind.
Santino Marella – Cannon fodder of the comedic kind.
Women
VICKIE GUERRERO – Because she’s awesome, that’s why.
Nikki & Brie Bella – Hookers to make sex with the male guest hosts.
Jillian Hall – Comedy.
Kelly Kelly – Something nice to look at. No idea how I’d use her, but I’d definitely want to keep her around.
Melina – Put her back with John Morrison. Immediately.
Rosa Mendes – Arm candy for Ryder. Works for me.
Oh, and I forgot to add NATALYA, who would obviously come over to Raw with the rest of the Hart Dynasty. So consider this a footnote.
Smackdown
Top Tier
The Undertaker – Is firmly entrenched as perpetual top tier dude who works part time. This is probably his last year.
Batista – Will end up being the Smackdown Champion and feud with…
RANDY ORTON – Because someone big has to come over to Smackdown to coincide with the move to SyFy, and it should probably be Orton, who has a natural feud with Batista they can do, and always seems to be the easiest one to keep switching.
Edge – Good top tier option as either a heel or face. Needs to learn how to not get injured.
CM Punk – Really growing as a top tier heel. One of the best.
Rey Mysterio – Steady reliable babyface option on top. Can slip down a tier and work with those guys as well.
Second Tier
THE MIZ – Because of the double second tier title switch. Let him go crazy on people. I’m salivating at his potential interaction with all the top tier guys, including Punk.
CODY RHODES – Has no identity whatsoever, so it’s time for him to move to the other show and work with some other people, and some of the same people in a different setting.
MVP – Maybe a new setting will help restore whatever it was that made him look so promising what seems like 80 years ago now.
CHRISTIAN – Because it’s another relatively big name to switch, Vince doesn’t really like him, so move him over to the other show, where he can interact with old friends like Edge and Matt Hardy.
Matt Hardy – Yep.
Jack Swagger – In about the same boat as Sheamus on Raw, where he’s going to be a star if things go right, but he’s not quite there yet, and maybe the new faces from Raw will help him get there.
R-Truth – I’ll tell you what the fuck is up.
Third Tier
JTG – Carries himself like he belongs. Out from under the shadow of Shad, this could be his time to shine.
CARLITO – Get him away from his feuding former tag team partner, and he’s like a C-grade version of the same boat MVP is in.
EVAN BOURNE – I love the guy, but I must be alone. Still, his style plays better on Smackdown.
Luke Gallows – Punk’s right hand man, rarely wrestles by himself. Perhaps that’ll change now that there’s some new midcard faces.
Caylen Croft & Trent Barretta – How much do you want to bet they break up at some point in the next year?
Shelton Benjamin – Remember him? Do ya?
Ezekiel Jackson – Could be due for a bigger push, since he looks the part. Needs some kind of hook and I have no idea what.
Finlay – Reliable veteran.
Goldust – Reliable veteran.
Great Khali – Big guy to do jobs. The Smackdown version of Mark Henry.
Kung Funaki – Cannon fodder with perpetual employment. The Smackdown version of Chavo.
Women
Michelle McCool, Beth Phoenix, Mickie James
EVE, GAIL KIM, MARYSE – Let’s have all the women wrestlers on one brand, please?
Layla – Michelle McCool’s valet or whatever, part time wrestler.
Serena - Punk’s girl.
Tiffany – Best GM ever.
And yes, they need to hire Awesome Kong immediately.
FIRED
Alicia Fox – No idea what to do with her, and they always get rid of a couple women every year.
Katie Lea – See above.
Curt Hawkins – No idea how he made it this long.
Jimmy Wang Yang – Unless he knows some dark Illuminati secret like Funaki, time is almost up for him.
Slam Master J – Total joke.
Vladimir Kozlov – I like him more than pretty much everyone alive, but his usefulness has expired.
Mike Knox – Sad, but they aren’t using him, and they always fire at least one guy that I think they shouldn’t, so…
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