Wow. After a real stinker of a WWE Draft, Monday Night Raw ended up more top heavy than Punky Brewster as a 16-year-old, while Smackdown is as barren of a wasteland as Bea Arthur’s dead crotch. Seriously, look at how the two rosters came out in the wash (I apologize if I forgot anyone, but my work computer is not conducive to skimming WWE.com’s roster pages):
John Cena, Randy Orton, Triple H, John Morrison, Great Khali,
Evan Bourne, R-Truth, Mark Henry, Goldust, Yoshi Tatsu, Santino Marella, Primo
Batista, Chris Jericho, Edge, Sheamus, The Miz
Ted DiBiase, Ezekiel Jackson, Carlito, Vladimir Kozlov, William Regal
Undertaker, Rey Mysterio, Kofi Kingston, Christian
Matt Lardy, MVP, JTG, Kane, Finlay, Chris Masters, Curt Hawkins, Vance Archer
Jack Swagger, CM Punk, Big Show
Dolph Ziggler, Luke Gallows, Shad, Cody Rhodes, Drew McIntyre, Tyler Reks, Chavo Guerrero, Tyler Reks, Dude Busters
Now let’s ponder some of the questions that arise:
*Why keep Edge and Jericho on the same show when their feud has fallen flat?
*Why keep Punk and Rey on the same show when their feud is almost over?
*Who new does Cena have to feud with once Batista leaves? He’s already gone the Edge and Jericho routes, and Miz was treated like a retard last time he tried to feud with Cena.
*How is Morrison supposed to spread the proverbial wings when he’s being smothered by three babyfaces?
*How is Orton supposed to flourish when still stuck underneath Cena and Hunter (when Hunter is healthy)?
*Who is Swagger supposed to get some rub from? Undertaker, who will pin him every time? Rey, with whom they’d reeeeally have to stretch for a legit reason to feud? Or Kofi or Christian, who as of now have earned no right at a title shot?
*And what about Punk, who should be moving up the roster? Not by feuding with Taker, and definitely not in programs against Kofi or Christian.
*I hope the big surprising exciting final pick of the supplemental draft, MVP, has fun feuding with, ummm, Vance Archer? Tyler Reks? Blecch.
I suppose it’s nice that DiBiase has some babyfaces to match up against, and we might be lucky enough to get a Morrison-Miz program (but let’s allow Miz to put a few more wins under his belt against chumps like Goldust and Primo so he can run his mouth, thus causing fans to want to pay to see him get his comeuppance). But what of someone like Cody Rhodes, stuck on Smackdown to have completely unnatural feuds with Chris Masters and JTG? Or Matt Hardy, who, now with fewer people to fight for the buffet over, will gain at least another 75 pounds by the end of “his year,” 2010? Raw is only intriguing because it’s bursting with so damn many people; Smackdown is going to suck, and there’s no amount of shuckin’ and jivin’ Teddy Long can do to fix it.