St. Nicholas is a consumer advocate.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my imaginary love got for me ten pair of John Morrison’s sunglasses, nine TNA Winged Warrior T-shirts, eight Taz Beat-Down T-shirts, seven Official TNA 2010 Wrestling Programs, six Undertaker Deadman Skull Caps, five pair of Degeneration X slippers, four Rey Mysterio Camo Replica Masks, three Abyss Masks, two Sting Teddy Bears and one Sting Mask “Wall Art” in a pear tree. My imaginary love certainly knows my penchant for losing sunglasses, even the perfect pair from Disney World that fit my fat head. It’s a nice stocking stuffer of a gift but I do wonder how well you can see out of the Rhinestone crosses. The dark tint of the lenses helps to offset both the gold frame and the white/clear Rhinestones. They’re decent but the Rhinestones really make them douche-tastic.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my imaginary love got for me, eleven John Cena Floor Mats, ten pair of John Morrison’s sunglasses, nine TNA Winged Warrior T-shirts, eight Taz Beat-Down T-shirts, seven Official TNA 2010 Wrestling Programs, six Undertaker Deadman Skull Caps, five pair of Degeneration X slippers, four Rey Mysterio Camo Replica Masks, three Abyss Masks, two Sting Teddy Bears and one Sting Mask “Wall Art” in a pear tree. They’ll be perfect for the bad weather to wipe my shoes and my dogs paws on. I do wonder why they used a bulldog considering none of his other merchandise uses a dog. Dogs are loyal, but you’re not likely to see much hustle out of an English bulldog. If it could chew through a chain link fence, I would respect the fact that the dog will probably kill me when it’s loose. The picture does look kind of nice even after my jokes. It’s on clearance for half price so I’m glad my imaginary love is being thrifty during the slow economy. It’s not terrible, but who’s going to buy a floor mat at an event? Or even think to order one online?

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my imaginary love got for me twelve Divas Snow Globes, eleven John Cena Floor Mats, ten pair of John Morrison’s sunglasses, nine TNA Winged Warrior T-shirts, eight Taz Beat-Down T-shirts, seven Official TNA 2010 Wrestling Programs, six Undertaker Deadman Skull Caps, five pair of Degeneration X slippers, four Rey Mysterio Camo Replica Masks, three Abyss Masks, two Sting Teddy Bears and one Sting Mask “Wall Art” in a pear tree. I can’t believe how thoughtful she is! I’m sure glad the Divas got their own ring apron which is quite boring. The ring posts with ropes around the globe crack me up. At least they’re being detailed. There’s nothing more attractive than having some amorphous Diva blobs inside. They are having a pillow fight so there’s a legitimate reason for the “snow” on the inside. The pillow cases and bed sheets are both pink so at least they’re trying to make it a little girly.

I had to end on an epic fail. Too bad those WWE scumbags already took down the DX snuggle because that was going to be my twelfth day gift. Merry Christmas Grandkids! – Kevin