Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

calvin-writing

Quotes from Jeremy on Facebook about Wrestlemania – #1. Yeah I totally got away with not contributing at all this year. Fortunately Kevin DiFrango was there for us all. (About my last preview post for Wrestlemania) #2. Kevin DiFrango wrote about WrestleMania 29. I saved $70.00 by not ordering and reading his review. I hope you do the same. (Considering I posted this today, Jeremy know his tenses very well.)

Quotes from Dusty on Facebook about Wrestlemania – Just read the quick results for Mania. The only result that didn’t make me want to jam a needle into my eye was Del Rio beating Swagger. Glad I occupied myself with baseball and old SNL today

Quotes from Eric on Facebook about Wrestlemania -

I get the odd feeling we won’t be talking about Wrestlemania this year. I re-watched the first two or three matches last night. I’ll try and watch the rest of the matches at some other point to properly evaluate. When you’re watching during a party and having to explain past histories and build up, you don’t pay attention very well. Toss in trying to blog and you’re nearly useless. I’m home with two conked out dogs. Time to concentrate on Raw. Let’s roll.

John Cena comes out and gives a Cena speech. He is the only person that gets this much of a reaction unless you count the part timers. Ryback and CM Punk come close. Mark Henry spoils the victory speech. Cena tries to derail a good promo. Booker T comes out to kill a main event that should headline a PPV. I have no idea where Vickie Guerrero is. Booker turns it into a non-title match. Henry still delivers a good promo.

Daniel Bryan comes down with Kane. Big E Langston comes down with some guy with blonde hair and a woman who might be smaller than my sister. I’m glad this crowd is better than the one last night. Nice choice of the director to not show Langston tossing Bryan onto Kane. Langston wins with the Big Ending. That was quick. Glad to know that Ziggler’s briefcase will continue to not be used as he still pursues the useless tag titles.

Wade Barrett gets his rematch against the Miz who went back to the goofy jacket for some reason. It doesn’t fit his character so I have no idea what he’s thinking. I do like the new wrestling gear though. Of course nothing happened before the commercial. I was grabbing dinner finally so I missed Barrett’s spell of offense. Barrett gets to break the figure four. Barrett whacks the Miz off the post. Bull Hammer for the win. Okay. Can someone tell me what the purpose of Barrett dropping the strap in the first place? Vickie & Brad Maddox are yammering when Sheamus comes in. He gets a match but Vickie doesn’t specify against who. Glad to know she’s as tired of that match as the rest of us are.

Booker T is backstage when Randy Orton approaches. Of course he wants a match against Big Show too. Booker over rules Vickie. Oh crap. It’s going to be worse than I thought with just a plain old rematch. We’re on the brink of anarchy according to Zeb Colter. Damn, I just got my finances straightened out. At least I had a good couple of year run to enjoy it before anarchy.

Alberto Del Rio and Jack Swagger do the heavy lifting. No surprise there. Also no surprise that they go to commercial with someone laying outside the ring. JBL has been stumping for free speech but doesn’t want it when Jerry Lawler makes a Colter joke. Neither Mitchell Cool nor Lawler called him on it. Del Rio breaks the Patriot Act. Del Rio turns a second attempt into a cross arm breaker. That was slick. Swagger taps out. Del Rio starts selling his ankle injury. Dolph Ziggler comes out. He cashes it in. The crowd is going crazy. The WWE will have it on mute in the main office. Enziguri by Del Rio. Kick out by Ziggler who had to wait until 2. Ziggler gets out of the cross arm breaker with a partial ankle lock. Zig Zag for the World Championship. Awesome. So awesome.

The fun continues. The Shield comes out when the Undertaker comes out. Glad to know he’s taking off more time officially. I’m not surprised. Aww crap, they do love this three man group so much, they’ve made up another three man group to not make them singles wrestlers.

Dolph Ziggler gets to give a victory speech. He said that this is his Wrestlemania moment. It is about damn time. Great cockiness that he needs to keep. 3MB gets to wrestle R Truth, Zack Ryder & Santino Marella. This match is very exciting for all involved. You didn’t get into Wrestlemania, here’s your consolation prize. Cobra beats Heath Slater. Awesome, they showed Fandango’s appearance on Opie & Anthony. Nice showing from little Jimmy Norton. Kaitlyn got to give away tickets instead of having her Wrestlemania moment. Sheamus and Randy Orton are arguing. Sheamus tells Orton that he’s got this. Orton is sitting back too much these days.

Big Show was angry last night. He is obviously angling for a feud with Randy Orton since another feud with Sheamus will bore us to death. Sheamus and Orton talk more. Tweet my choice. #IDontGiveACare. After the commercial break, we get a match between them for a chance at Big Show. I do love the after Wrestlemania crowds. This is down right hilarious. RVD! JBL! Jerry! Michael Cole! Commercial break! ECW! Lawler is thinking the crowd might run out of chants. The announcers finally get to talking about the match too. The wave. Clubbering time. Randy Savage! HBK! White noise and the crowd boos. Missed Brogue Kick. The Big Show comes out. Sheamus into the post. Thank You Big Show! Finished off with a WMD on Orton. Nope, not finished off. Really setting up the feud. Big Show is looking impressive in the process.

Fandango comes out. Kofi Kingston gets to job. How the moderately powerful have fallen. I guess they didn’t want Kofi to job? Chris Jericho interferes. I’m fine with keeping the feud going. The announcers complain about their table being used again. Walls of Jericho that referees try to break it up. Code Breaker as the finale. The crowd loved it. They also love Fandango correcting Justin Roberts.

Paul Heyman is interviewed by Josh Matthews. He sells Brock Lesnar. Heyman moves on to CM Punk. He is going to let Punk do his talking next week on Raw. Interesting. I like the tease. The Bellas & Rhodes Scholars come out for the oops, we put P Diddy on the show instead of you. So what if the crowd crapped on Diddy. Tons of Funk & the Funkadactyls are out second. The crowd is loving Sandow. Double Splash on Sandow for the Tons of Funk win. We didn’t miss anything on Wrestlemania.

Holy crap, that’s a real shirt that John Cena is wearing. You couldn’t see the belt earlier. If anyone over 12 buys that, they deserve to be beaten senseless. Mark Henry is using the power to his advantage. Duh. Count out victory for John Cena. There we go, figured an attack was coming. Ryback comes out. So Cena will get another feud. Feed me more. He looks at Cena. Then offers a hand.  Cena goes to tje ropes. Hilarious. He’s got to be trolling the crowd. Meat Hook clothesline on Cena. Shell shock. Surprised this crowd is getting into Ryback this much. -Kevin

Wrestlemania 29 (NY/NJ) Preview Part IV

KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA

Since Jeremy agreed that he wouldn’t be doing previews as I had predicted on Monday, I’m going written for the previews. I’m hoping to do two matches a day including on Sunday. We’ll see if it happens or if I end up stacking them up because I can’t get to them. I’ll be separating them into pairs with one good match and one bad match.

Bad Match

World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio defending against Jack Swagger: The build up has been the most boring of any of these bouts. The hate might have worked better if Alberto Del Rio was a bigger baby face. He hasn’t come close to replacing Rey Mysterio. I really don’t like him any more as a baby face because he still feels so bland. Jack Swagger hasn’t done himself any favors since coming back either. I haven’t been impressed with his in ring work which has been passable at best. His gimmick isn’t doing much for me either. I suppose it’s good that he has a mouth piece but since the gimmick isn’t working I don’t like Zeb Colter. Prediction: Alberto Del Rio sucks slightly less so he retains.

Good Match

CM Punk vs The Undertaker: Aren’t we all glad that William Moody aka Paul Bearer died so that we could have an angle for Wrestlemania? I do wonder what this build up would have looked at without this tragic end to a fantastic mouth piece. I was glad that CM Punk got to sink his teeth into something other than the length of his title reign. I thought the angle ended up pigeon holing him from how he wanted to verbally attack the Undertaker. He did what he could and I enjoyed it but I also thought it was predictable and a little bit boring. The interesting part of this match is that because of the lengthy title reign, CM Punk is a legitimate threat. Undertaker has only made a couple of token appearances in the past year. Punk is a perfect torch handing over guy. Prediction: The streak stands and the internet doesn’t explode.

Vote Now: 56 Days of WrestleMania: WrestleMania XXVII’s Best Matches

We’ll catch up on results one of these days, but until then, let us know what the other best match on this card was besides Undertaker vs. Triple H (which, for the record, was panned by the Stunt Granny members who were there live. We haven’t stopped snoring since.)

Vote Now: 56 Days of WrestleMania – WrestleMania XXV’s Best Matches

Let’s see how unanimous this poll is. I mean, there has to be another good match on the card, right?

56 Days of WrestleMania – WrestleMania XIV’s Best Matches: Results

I’m sticking you guys with only the last part of the Shawn Michaels vs. Steve Austin match, because the match had been broken up into three pieces on YouTube, with the third piece removed due to copyright infringement and then re-posted on DailyMotion. But you all remember it, so whatever, no big loss. The other best match on the card per your votes was Undertaker vs. Kane, a solid choice of a match between two characters that, in the earliest stages of their careers, you simply would not have guessed would have lasted as long as they did.

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

ap_paul_bearer

We have to cover wrestling some time. So here it is after a week off and more to come from our shenanigans in Nashville. Let’s roll.

The WWE does the right thing and pays tribute to Paul Bearer to start the show. The man that awkwardly ended that segment comes out next. Thanks for giving your catch phrase to a real dead man, Undertaker. CM Punk interrupts before Taker can get started. I love the promo again. What a dick move.

They are really pushing WWE Active. I’m still not biting. Kane goes on a rampage against Punk because Undertaker can’t wrestle. Alex Riley finally gets some air time. Big Show comes out next. They recap more story that didn’t happen on TV. Here’s an idea for the WWE. How about less replays and more actual content on the show? Seth Rollins is taking him on one on one. SOrt of, what’s to prevent them from attacking like normal? Shouldn’t they be banned from ringside just to start with. Big Show helps them out with the angle. Triple power bomb. I hope that after Wrestlemania, The Shield progresses and breaks into singles wrestling or a singles wrestler and a tag team. CM Punk cries to Vickie Guerrero about Kane. She puts him in a no DQ match with Kane. Holy shit, a Smackdown replay on Raw? What is coming of this world?

Daniel Bryan was out before the break. We can Tout about Paul Bearer because we haven’t had enough social media on the show yet. Dolph Ziggler is his opponent. I think my boy might win. Big E Langston needs to start doing something other than look menacing. Commercial time. I’d be pretty cool if they made Bryan a legitimate threat again. I get the feeling though he’s headed for Chris Jericho territory. Fun counter by Ziggler. Doesn’t seem very heelish. Rocker Dropper only gets two. Awesome finish with counters. Ziggler wins with the Zig Zag. Big E drops Daniel Bryan with his finisher.

Tensai the dancing monkey is supposed to take on another dancing monkey, Fandango. This gimmick may be growing on me. GI Joe: Retaliation preview looks pretty cool.

Team Rhodes Scholars does a good mock of the New Age Outlaws introduction. People still love the original and will continue to love shouting “Suck it!” Brock Lesnar comes out. Billy Gunn tries to take the fight to him but fails. Good way to get him some heat. Paul Heyman does a great sell job on the conditions.

Kofi Kingston is fodder for Mark Henry. They show the show downs with Ryback. World’s Strongest Slam. Cody Rhodes hits on Kaitlyn but Damien Sandow brings back the Bellas. Holy smokes. You ladies aren’t the answer to anything. Vickie puts them in a match with Sheamus & Randy Orton. Ryback is out next. The sacrificial lamb is introduced after the Psych preview. I hope it doesn’t suck as much as the show Cena was in.

Heath Slater gets the nod. Good choice in the selling department even if we’ve seen it before. Henry watches from the ramp. Shell Shock. Drew McIntyre gets the same treatment. Henry walks into the ring and slams McIntyre. Shell Shock. Slam.

Alberto Del Rio takes on Antonio Cesaro. Del Rio cuts a cheese-tastic inset promo. Cesaro is starting to seem like Dolph Ziggler part 2. They keep putting him into good matches but he keeps losing but they clearly like him. Cross Arm Breaker submission for Del Rio. Kane loves his father’s ashes.

I’m glad they could give us more recap on John Cena & the Rock. More replays, of Brock Lesnar now. Sheamus gets the big introduction. Randy Orton came in before the Lesnar replay. WWE App still has more real content than the TV product. Randy Orton gets the hot tag though. T-Bone suplex out of Orton. Good for him. Not really a hot tag. Time for him to sell for their team. We may get a commercial break. Nope, Sheamus got the hot tag for reals. Rhodes takes the RKO so that both the good guys can do their finishers. Sheamus Brogue Kicks Sandow for the win.

The WWE App has even more real content instead of the TV show. The Shield attacked Orton & Sheamus. Chris Jericho tells us more movie footage because it is more important than TV product too. Wade Barrett gives us more movie footage. The Miz gives his same schtick. Jericho shows him how to stay somewhat fresh. The Miz and Jericho are going to fight to get a crack at Barrett. Wade is on the headset when they return. The old toss your opponent into the guy on the head set trick rears it’s ugly head. Is this what Jericho gets for Wrestlemania?

I FF thru Zeb Colter’s promo because I’m tired of it already. Jack Swagger gets Sin Cara to tap out easily. Alberto Del Rio comes to his rescue. More movie stuff. This time with Halle Berry. David Otunga grew his goat back. He gave her phone number to Kane. He kills again. I’m not sure how they talked her into that one. Or the movie.

They are not leaving much time for CM Punk vs Kane. I got 10 minutes by my DVR. They take a commercial break at 11:05. What a bunch of douches. They come back with 2 minutes left on my DVR. Fuck these guys. -Kevin

Stunt Granny Audio #218

marilyn-monroe-red-bandana

OH my god, you better hide your heart because Kevin and Dusty are coming! The fearless duo reunited once again to talk about the latest happenings in the world of WWE. Paul Bearer recently passed away and they discuss some of his career highlights. Dusty segues into a digression about the backstage gang warfare going on in the WWF in the mid 90s. Which gang wore black hats and spelled “crew” incorrectly? Which gang wore red bandanas? Why couldn’t the Hart family even agree on which gang to join? Meanwhile, Monday Night Raw was actually pretty good (except for the abysmal announcing). A troupe of doods made their case for trying to end the Undertaker’s streak. Who prevailed? Why did Big Show just recently realize that if he h it somebody, it would probably hurt? Did WWE miss an opportunity with Zack Ryder? Finally, they talk a little football and call it a night. All that and a whole lot more, so listen for the god of love. Oh, and check this out:

Iron Man Sneakers link – http://www.cbssports.com/nba/blog/eye-on-basketball/21824068/video-lebrons-new-%22iron-man%22-shoes-are-awesome

Stunt Granny Audio Show #218

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

undertaker-buried-alive

Never a good day to go to a funeral. No one is coming back after months of resting an injury. That’s all she wrote man. Profound, huh? I’m not so I’m not going to pretend. Enjoy your time here. I’ll feel a little bit better after mocking the WWE for about three hours. Let’s roll.

Vince McMahon starts the show. He’s kind of got a Joker like suit on. Paul Heyman comes dressed for a fight. I love the people in the front row clapping about the Romo joke. Brock Lesnar shows up again. HHH shows up with a buzz cut. You need to have HHH win and he does. Predictable stuff.

Dolph Ziggler is taking on Ryback. Big E Langston & AJ Lee are at ring side. I’ve been on the phone the whole segment. It has not changed how much I taped. Big E comes into play. It doesn’t matter though. Loss 1 million for Ziggler.

CM Punk tells us tonight is about him. I’m even starting to tune out him. Donald Trump is the newest inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame.

I’m off the phone but completely uninterested in Mark Henry vs the Great Khali XX. We get it, Henry can World’s Strongest Slam Khali. The Marine III looks terrible. If that’s the best you can do, stop trying.

Miz TV is next with Zeb Colter & Jack Swagger and Alberto Del Rio & Ricardo Rodriguez. It goes as expected. I was explaining Swagger to Baby Momma Drama so I missed the specifics. Whatever.

Randy Orton takes on Antonio Cesaro. Let’s see if I can type more than two sentences about it. RKO out of nowhere because Orton needs to beat an up and comer just to keep his quasi-main event status. He’s got no direction right now. Brad Maddox & Vickie Guerrero talk Daniel Bryan & Kane into a match with the Prime Time Players. Not their best work. Team Brickie does have a nice ring to it. This JBL/John Cena commercial is pretty funny. They have the perfect people in the roles.

Sheamus is out to give us his Oscar snubs. Thanks for helping to get us some extra hits for mentions of unrelated material. Oh, it’s funny man Sheamus plugging the movie Barrett is in for five seconds. This is bombing. Wade Barrett is here to save us. He did well but didn’t blow me away.

(more…)

Stunt Granny Audio #214

Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus

Jeremy just wanted to shoot the shit. Kevin decided that investigate that notion by wondering how you could skeet shoot poo. How exactly is he planning on making sure the poo doesn’t spread when it gets shot? This reminds both of them of the famous scene in Airplane! when the shit hits the fan. They move on to talking about deep sea giant squid and Jeremy’s terrible DVR skills.  Jeremy and Kevin finally get around to talking about Raw. How did the WWE manage to start laying the ground work for three matches at Wrestlemania but yet still have a boring show? Did Paul Heyman spice it up? Maybe Vince McMahon? Why does the WWE continue to make Brock Lesnar look like a bad guy even though the crowd cheers him every time he comes out? They stopped doing it with Chris Jericho who seems destined to battle Dolph Ziggler. They will have a good match but is that enough? Is anyone looking forward to Rock vs John Cena II? Will CM Punk put a monkey wrench into those plans if the Undertaker is injured? The guys wrap up by talking about Jeremy not ordering Wrestlemania. Will a good build up get him to order it? Find out when you click the link below!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #214

Stunt Granny Interview Series: @FairToAar Aaron Maguire of @PRIMEWrestling

Aaron Maguire at Wrestlelution 4 as a guest time keeper.

Aaron Maguire is back again to promote Wrestlelution 5: An Enduring Spirit. Just like the Undertaker, he’s keeping his streak of appearances on this podcast alive. One streak he wants to break is his clients losing at Wrestlelution. Will his man “The Megastar” Marion Fontaine beat “Omega” Aaron Draven? Will Maguire get the chance to slap the goatee off of Justin LaBar? What trick does he have up his sleeve for this match? After previewing his own match, we move on to run down most of the card. Maguire answers whether Bobby Beverly or Bobby Shields will look better bald. Will Nicki Valentino call it down the middle as the special guest referee? Matt Cross takes on Petey Williams in their first ever singles match. Does Maguire think they’ll deliver in the ring?  Rhino has delivered in rings all over the world, but will be be able to deliver against Jason Bane who is 4-0 at Wrestlelution? Or is it 5-0? Last year, Bane delivered against Krimson. With Jayme Mason now in Krimson’s corner, will he be able to defeat Matt Mason? Krimson’s disciple Gory will take on Michael Facade in a casket match? Will this be the most brutal match Wrestlelution has ever seen? A heart breaking story already is Zach Gowen taking on Gregory Iron. Will the One Legged Wonder come out on top now that he’s aligned himself with N8 Mattson & The Sons of Michigan? Last but not least, Maguire talks about the main event match for the PRIME Wrestling Title between “The Zombie Princess” Jimmy Jacobs and Johnny Gargano. Who will come out of Jacobs Pavilion with the title? Find out that and more when you click on the link below!

Stunt Granny Interview Series Aaron Maguire 2012

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