The rain: Man, it sure was raining a lot this past weekend. If you get a chance, ask Jeremy Maes about it. Better still, ask him where he was while he was being rained upon. You know, for conversation sake.
Michael Cole: So it occurred to me watching Summer Slam last night that Michael Cole would make the perfect manager. I’m always complaining about the lack of managers in wrestling these days (the dancing, no penis buffoon Runjin Singh does not count, btw) and I think that Michael Cole transitioning into a managerial role would be the perfect WWE way to make managers digestable again to the viewing public.
Cole has been awesome lately in his ongoing saga anti-Bryan Danielson and pro-The Miz. I know that this isn’t exactly a new concept since I was championing Cole to be the mouthpiece of Nexus back when that angle first started, but I’m going to beat the horse until it’s dead, because it’s a legit good idea.
The problem is that who would replace Cole as commentator on Raw? Sure, you could beg Jim Ross to come back, but a more likely scenario would be for them to place Matt Striker in there full-time opposite Jerry Lawler, an idea which gives me severe gas because Striker is fucking terrible and doesn’t deserve to be bagging old lady’s groceries at Piggly Wiggly, let alone announcing the biggest wrestling show on television. Obviously, more thought would have to go into this.
Speaking of heartburn: The finish to the Team WWE vs. Team Nexus match gave me a triple bypass. What I would have done is, after Jericho and Edge get eliminated, have them lay out Cena on the floor. Cena gets rolled back in, gets the bejeezus kicked out of him by the three remaining Nexus members, and then have him get counted out. That way, he gets eliminated in a way where he keep every last shred of credibility he has, since that’s apparently so important to him, while he still gets eliminated, which was the best thing to do for business.
So that would leave Danielson against Heath Slater, Justin Gabriel and Wade Barrett. From there, you have Danielson eliminate Slater and Gabriel, before losing to Barrett because he’s tired and the odds were against him. That way, Cena stays strong since he has a reasonable excuse for getting eliminated, Danielson gets built up to the max and has a plausible excuse for getting eliminated, and Barrett looks super strong by getting a PPV main event win. So then, Cena can seek revenge on Jericho and Edge, and Danielson can go after Barrett.
Meanwhile, it’s about time to pare the Nexus group down to four or five members. Seven is too many for a group of wrestlers, and I’m sure you can think of at least two pieces of dead weight in that group anyway. Slim them down to five members and keep them strong going into the Survivor Series, which should be the absolute next time they all team up together in a match. WWE likes having seven on seven and six on six matches or whatever, but that needs to stop immediately. It is old and it is dead.
Other things: TNA has some of the ugliest fans in wrestling history. I know I’m no sunshine and lollipops over here, but I’m also not parking myself in the front row facing the hard camera every single week on national television, you know? Enough is enough here.
Shannon Moore is perhaps the worst wrestler in the history of professional wrestling.
Melina is certainly the worst babyface ever.
Bring back Sid already! – Dusty