The child finally knows how to use the Elimination Chamber.

Tony Chimel gives Ricardo Rodriguez the opportunity to kick off the Elimination Chamber. Michael Cole, Josh Matthews & Booker T are the announce crew. Del Rio cuts a promo. I was wondering if the Chambers would bookend the pay per view but that obviously is not the case. Kofi interrupts an average promo. Booker is really telling Kofi to go for it. I like it. The crowd is chanting for Del Rio more than I expected. Del Rio cuts Kofi’s comeback short with a Code Breaker-like move as Kofi went for his patented top rope crossbody. It looked cool. Kofi kicks out after a stomach breaker. Booker is really harping on Kofi, which makes me wonder if he’ll win. Near fall with the S.O.S. for Kofi.  Kofi blocked the cross armbreaker for a bit but then submits. Good opener.

Grisham interviews Edge. Edge goes sarcastic then gets serious. He notes that no champion has left with the title in the past five years. McIntyre comes in with the slow clap. He mentions Kelly Kelly being taken away from him and says that he’s going to take away his most prized possesion. Edge tells him KK & the title will never be seen with McIntyre.

They did a vignette to hype the Chamber then Cole adds the dimensions & weights of it. McIntyre is yelling at Kane in his pod. I like it. Barrett is talking trash to both men. Text from Jeremy: “The Corre’s music just gave me HIV. Holy shit is that gay.” I agree. They somehow made it worse than Nexus’ music. Big Show is the replacement as we predicted. Edge & Rey get to start the match.

They played it pretty even for the opening five minutes. Barrett took it to Rey but got socked by Edge. Barrett is getting to look strong which he needs. Rey hangs on to the cage to get out of the Wasteland. Edge kicks Rey in the face to prevent a 619. Kane is introduced. Booker needs to stop saying that everyone pinning someone “almost has it.” Kane gets a trifecta of boots to the head. All four men are hurting. Rey takes an uppercut into a Tree of Woe then gets basement dropkicked by Edge. Cole notes that there are no friends in the Chamber.

McIntyre javelins Rey into the glass. McIntyre teams up with Barrett for a bit then tosses him through the glass. Drew is looking better than he has in months. Edge slows down McIntyre with an Impaler DDT. Rey takes another brutal bump into a pod this time courtesy of Kane.  Big Show is the last entrant. After roughing up most of the other contestants, Show goes after Barrett. Wade goes through another pod. Cool of Show to twist Barrett’s arm through the chain link. Show gives the big punch to Barrett so he’s eliminated. All four of the remaining contestants pour it on Show, who kicks out of a seated senton off the top of a pod. Kane eliminates Show & McIntyre.

Edge speared both men but only got the pin on Kane, who chokeslams both men before leaving the Chamber. Matthews rightly notes that Edge & Rey started the match. A bunch of near falls after single moves after a rest period from the choke slams. Edge counters a 619 with a modified Sharpshooter. Rey turns it into a pin but only gets two.  Edge spears Rey on a bounce back but still only gets a two.  Rey connects with the 619 & a Drop of the Dime but he also only gets two.  Cole commits the cardinal sin of calling the match a classic. Rey gets speared coming off the top rope. Edge finally gets the win. Text from Jeremy: “Not a chance in hell the Raw match is as good as this.” Couldn’t agree more even with Cole trying to fuck it up at the end. Del Rio assaults Edge and applies the cross armbreaker. Christian with the save. Awesome return and well timed.

Miz against Jerry Lawler is up next. Striker interviews King. Jerry cuts a killer down-on-my-luck promo, which was probably easy because of his real feelings. Trish Stratus is going to be one of the trainers for Tough Enough. The segment was nice filler but Trish doesn’t need to steal the Rock’s material. The Chaperone is previewed.

Gabriel & Slater along with Jackson take on Kozlov & Santino. Kozlov takes control early. Slater takes over. Santino gives the Cobra to Gabriel, who wasn’t legal. Gabriel hits the 450  for the win. The right guys get the belts.

Miz gets the chance to cut his own promo. Miz punks out Lawler real quick then says that the winner of the Elimination Chamber will meet the same fate as Lawler at WrestleMania.

Vickie Guerrero gets to yap about Ziggler getting fired. Vickie apologizes for Dolph. Vickie begs for Teddy Long to give Mr. Kent State a second chance. Teddy only thanks Vickie for her time as acting general manager. Kelly Kelly was rehired by Teddy. KK chases Vickie. Kind of gutsy (and stupid) of Michelle to go into the action with a boot on.  Trish Stratus makes the save. “Vintage Trish” courtesy of Josh Matthews. Cole makes no sense in trying to justify Lay-Cool’s attack.

I forgot to mention this earlier – The Miz’s new leather jacket is terrible. Not drawing heat bad, just flat awful. King is coming out second. Weird. King goes for a couple of pins early. Jerry looking good early until A-Ri distracts him outside the ring. King superplexes Miz but only gets a two. The announce crew is just going self destruct. Lawler gets tripped up by Riley who finally gets booted. Jerry gets a near fall. Cole is coming on strong. King throws Miz into Cole which gets a huge pop. Miz kicks out after a top rope upper cut. Lawler DDTs Miz. Lawler goes to the top rope and drops the strap. Lawler hits it but Miz gets his foot on the rope. Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale for the victory. Nice win for the Miz. Not a chance in hell Cena doesn’t win now. Cole thinks Miz is awesome for beating a 61-year-old who doesn’t deserve the spotlight. You’re on drugs, Cole. Of course, that’s why he is hated.

Cena, fucking A dude, you make it impossible for me to like you. I thought he was headed in the right direction, but he sucks now. Punks cuts a short promo. Punk kills.

Cena, Punk, Orton & R Truth are in the pods. The announcers note that Morrison catapaulted into stardom against Sheamus. Nice use of the cage by Morrison. Orton is killing Sheamus & Morrison. Sheamus gets the hangman’s DDT onto the cage side of the Chamber.  Orton gives a superplex to Morrison. Orton does the same to Sheamus. Orton gets free shots at Punk as he’s stuck in the pod. Punk gets RKO’d and pinned. Punk gets back in his pod because the Raw GM declared it. Cena is released but Sheamus is all over him. Punk gets a break. Morrison is flying all over the place. Sheamus with a double clothesline. Orton puts a pounding on Sheamus. Truth turns the table on Sheamus. R Truth gets eliminated first by Sheamus. Thank goodness.

Orton tosses Morrison through a pod. Cena and Orton brawl. Orton RKO’s Cena after an attempted Attitude Adjustment. Punk mocks Orton. Punk with the GTS to Orton. Wow, I’m shocked.

Sheamus drops Punk like a bad habit. Sheamus has been on fire. Cole calls it right. Sheamus and Morrison on top of a pod. Morrison kicks him to the mat. Morrison climbs to the top of the dome. He drops on top of Sheamus for the victory. Cole notes Morrison’s sacrifice. Morrison crashes into Cena, who was going for the Attitude Adjustment on Punk. Punk tries to pin Cena. Morrison knees the glass free. Punk gets two on Cena again. Punk hammers away on Cena. Cena looks like he’s in trouble but powers out. Morrison hits a top rope clothesline on Punk. Still only two. Morrsion gets Adjusted, and Punk clocks Cena with a kick. Punk springboards onto Cena for two.  Cena is catapulted into the glass. Morrison pulls off some more crazy shit. Punk hits a GTS  on Morrison after missed knee drop. Cena gives Punk a quick Adjustment for the victory. Morrison has to win Money in the Bank. – Kevin