Eric is tweeting from one of these cities.

My job tonight is simple, compile Eric’s tweets and maybe add some commentary. Should be easy enough. I’m not keeping up with him but will hit his early tweets now and refresh this post later. To make it more official, we’ll even stick a read more button in here in case you want the results of Smackdown to be a secret.

Eric: Just got seated at Wells Fargo Arena; lower bowl about 90%, upper balcony tarped off. Maybe 5,000 here.

Kevin: Does that mean Columbus is more redneck since we had about double that many fans for a Smackdown taping before Wrestlemania? It could be because we’re a real city and have more people around town.

Eric: Johnny curtis beats McGillicutty w/ Alabama Jam. Nunzio reffed. Brooklyn Brawler was right next to me watching!

Eric: Crowd bored to tears by NXT rookie promos, though Titus got an OK reaction. Rookie-pro turmoil now!

Eric: Tyson Kidd (springboard elbow) and Lucky Cannon over Titus O’Neil and Hornswoggle.

Eric: Cannon (big boot; the Lucky Strike?) and Kidd over Saxton and Tatsu. Very pedestrian, but people chanted for Yoshi. Carly liked him, too.

Kevin: I’m in heaven. I haven’t had to make a spelling or grammar correction yet. What the hell is going on on NXT though that Kidd & Cannon wrestled twice on the same show?

Eric: Vladimir Kozlov (spinebuster) and Conor O’Brian over Kidd & Cannon. Big pop for Vlad. JTG came out for commentary.

Eric: O’Brian (twisty belly to back) & Kozlov beat Young and Chavo. Lots of “Chavo sucks” chants, which made Carly feel bad for him 🙁

Kevin: Carly, feel bad for yourself or any opponent of Chavo. If he’s your opponent, you’re going nowhere fast.

Eric: Byron Saxton eliminated from NXT. The 10-year-old kid in front of me cannot stop doing the Bieber hair whip. Criminy!

Eric: Tyson Kidd beat Trent Barretta by countering a victory roll. Brawler watched that one, too. Kidd took on Matt Striker as an agent. Cool.

Kevin: Striker was looking extra douchey last night. Still a mystery as to why an agent isn’t a more prominent role in the WWE. I’m sure that’s dead horse  number 39 on our list of things the WWE should do.

Eric: Gabriel and Slater over Usos. Carly thinks Slater deep conditions. Crowd dug Usos’ poppin and lockin. 450 looked like it hurt.

Eric: Little tiny Christian beats big huge Mark Henry with the Unprettier, to which Carly says “Yeah, right.” OK match, crowd was into it.

Kevin: Christian’s size is one of those things that didn’t hit me until later. Not sure why when he first popped up with Edge that I thought they were similar in size.

Eric: Henry’s power popped the crowd. Xian pleaded for a title shot tonight. Teddy Long shot it down, but made him ref for Orton v Sheamus.

Eric: Tamina & Alicia def Aj & Kaitlyn. Quickly. You might call Aj spunky. Tamina showed power moves and I heard a kid say “Lady, you’re strong!”

Eric’s note: I don’t know who was who between AJ and Kaitlyn, and I missed who took the fall.

Eric: Cody Rhodes cut a promo calling Daniel Bryan and the “paying audience” losers. Great delivery. Passed out bags, too; people gladly wore.

Eric: Jinder Mahal def Yoshi Tatsu w that shitty rookie go-to, the full nelson slam. Khali then crushed Yoshi’s head. He’s tall. Minor heat.

Eric: Ezekiel beat Barrett by count-out when Corre kept eke from bringing Wade back into ring. Kinda short. Zeke is rough around the edges.

Kevin: Honestly, this report is so ho hum, I’ve got nothing for comments. Guess that’s what happens when you leave no one of name on one of your programs.

Eric: Bryan def DiBiase w Lebell Lock in a nice match with no heat until finish. Des Moines couldn’t start a “Dan-iel Bry-an” chant for shit.

Eric: Rhodes came to ring mid-match, attacked Bryan post-match. Sin Cara made the save. Guy w sign blocked Carly’s view of Cara’s entrance. Dang.

Eric: Wow. Johnny Curtis just said he lost a tag title shot because R-Truth is mean and then literally spilled milk and cried. Dumb.

Kevin: Dumb does not do that segment justice. I can’t imagine a way to produce this into a good segment.

Eric: Orton v Sheamuis. Fair wrestling to start, typical brawl outside the ring, good finishing 10 minutes. Since when does Sheamus skin the cat?

Kevin: Since never. Spelling mistake! Jeremy feel better, it even happens to the best of us.

Eric: Sheamus bumps Christian, who “injures” his pin counting hand. Sheamus screwed. Pushing and shoving, folowed by RKO for win.

Eric: Props to sign “Macho 3:16 Says I Just Stopped the Rapture.” Carly notes: Hair-Whip Kid is deodorant-age. Smells like meat.

Eric: Henry comes out for a dark match. Music plays for two minutes. Grabs three mics, all cut out. Technical difficulties galore!

Eric: Haven’t seen so much stalling since Larry Zbyszko wrestled. @JoeyStyles, what’s the matter?

Kevin: Awesome, Eric tweeted Joey Styles.

Eric: Ref Scott Armstrong just saw or heard something funny. Carly definitely doesn’t think this is funny. Get a damn opponent out here!

(Last one of the night)

Eric: No dark match is worth waiting 15 minutes for, not even if Macho Man’s ghost came back. We out.