Kevin’s Blog: A Day Late & A Dollar Short Review of #iMPACTWrestling

I was figuring on staying away from the wrestling news to not taint my viewing of this show but my office work did a great job of that. Nothing like an elven hour day to keep you off the internet except to change the stations on SiriusXM during the day. I also listened to the end of Thursday’s Marek vs. Wyshinski. If you’re a hockey fan, give it a listen. You can get the link on Yahoo! Sports if you’re not familiar with the Puck Daddy blog. Anyway, since the dogs are crashed out, it’s time for back to back reviews. With the vague possibility of me doing a third one for Ring of Honor. I might need a break after taking on Smackdown though. I’ll find out soon. Let’s roll.

They blow themselves for how great last week’s show was. Aside from their head announcer giving away the biggest of obvious reveals. Bully Ray comes out first. He calls out Bobby Roode. Bully sounds good but Roode feels like a cartoon. The crowd does the “What?” chant. Must feel good. Roode magically brings out Sting. He makes himself special enforcer. They’re in a match against James Storm & Sting. I wouldn’t normally be a fan of the commish being in a match but it’s their first visit to London.

We get a review of the AJ Styles & Kazarian feud. Daniels makes his way out with beaten down Kaz. AJ Styles is his opponent. He’s not getting much of a pop. Daniels pops him first. AJ should be so pissed he isn’t posing for the crowd. Tenay goes dumb by trying to call an attempted Styles Clash a power bomb. So awful. After looking over last week’s drunken review, I did notice that this match is the first good one the crowd has seen. No wonder they’re super pumped. They chant “This is awesome”. It’s a good match. Not awesome. Daniels wins with a foreign object. Eric Bischoff is talking to Gunner. These people need to learn how to close doors.

As Tenay & Taz pimp the PPV, they remind us that it’s going to suck since it’s filmed in Orlando. What a downgrade. Magnus & Samoa Joe talk. Of course Magnus sucks in the fans with a pro-England speech. Cay, my Boxer, just farted. It really stinks. I think Joe is in better shape reaction wise, but he’s still a far cry from where he was. Magnus is selling them but I can’t help but remember their losses to the tag team champions. They don’t fear Matt Morgan & Crimson. So naturally, they show up. Nice by having them act heelish and just attack them. May as well play into the crowd tendencies unlike the WWE acting like they’re not in Canada.

Austin Aries vs Alex Shelley vs Doug Williams in a non-title match. Have a tag match. You’re giving away one of your matches at the PPV. Shelley spanks Aries. Yeah, let’s try to make wrestling a little more homoerotic. Shelley gets the pin so we know one outcome on Sunday.

Sting hugs Hulk Hogan after a little speech to Garrett. Hogan tells Sting he’s a marked man. Evidently Hulk wants to tell him how big the target on Sting’s back is. Hogan has got his back. The fat black woman shouldn’t have been on TV. Unless she was meant to make me laugh a lot.

Tara is attacked by Gail Kim taking footage of London. Gail throws her into a set of doors that open. Tara acts like she’s dead. Wow, that was terrible. Hogan claims total greatness for TNA again. Then him & Garrett hit the ring. Eric & Gunner come down. How dare Hogan interfere in family business. Hogan books a match between Gunner & Garrett at Against All Odds. I honestly don’t remember them mentioning the name of the PPV before now. The crowd goes crazy when Hogan tosses Gunner. Garrett gets to clock his dad.

I’m not going to watch Star Wars. I’m not giving that dolt more money. I love the stuff but I don’t care if it’s in 3D or not. Bobby Roode needs to hug Bully Ray. Hogan explains that him & Eric will be at ring side at the PPV. Mickie James takes on Velvet Sky. WEird face on face women’s match. They need to get them on TV in London I suppose. The match was solid. I’m trying to process Velvet winning. Mickie could use some losses. A fucking bachlorette party? At the taping. Wow. I’m going to steal frythedeliveryguy’s comment from my column last week, “After watching this weeks, judging from the fans interviews, I may have a shot wth some of these UK chicks.” Considering my string of bad luck, maybe I should hit the UK too.

After more blowing of themselves, they have a taped vignette with the contender‘s and champ for AAO. Sting & James Storm acted goofy together. Lots of goofiness without Eric Young this week. Sting & James Storm take on Bobby Roode & Bully Ray in the main event. After the intros, I’ve got ten DVR minutes left. The overrun never gets watched unless I’m live or close to it. I’ve been out drinking the last two Thursdays. Commercial break. How dumb. You don’t have enough time for this garbage. Take one during the ring entrances like the WWE. My DVR cuts the match off what seems like way too early. The overrun should have been massive. I just don’t get over running the time slot when you’re taped. Smackdown never does it. Speaking of that show…-Kevin

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One Response

  1. you must mean awesome kong jr.

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