Stunt Granny Audio #203

Posted on October 9, 2012 by stuntgranny

Kevin and Dusty are at the helm for this edition of Stunt Granny Audio, and what an edition it is! The two heroes are momentarily distracted by Dusty’s A’s destroying Jeremy’s Tigers, but are eventually able to turn their attentions towards the latest happenings in the world of professional wrestling. Both Brian Gewirtz and Jim Cornette lost their jobs as head writers for WWE and ROH, respectively. What is the fall out going to be for those two promotions? Can we expect tangible changes, or are these just superficial changes that won’t really incur actual changes unless other moves are made? CM Punk had showdowns with both Vince McMahon and a fan on this past Monday’s Raw. Can a slap really reverberate to the knee, or is the fan just looking to get his sue on? Is it ridiculous for Vince McMahon to be standing toe-to-toe with a top wrestler? TNA’s salary information got leaked on the internet mysteriously. We agree that it’s fun to just gossip about things you’re not really supposed to know. Who is overpaid? Who is underpaid? Will Kurt Angle be heading back to WWE anytime soon? Dave Batista made his MMA debut recently. Is he in it for the long haul or is he just trying to keep his name out there until Vince takes him back? Will he actually be successful at this endeavor? Would he stand any kind of chance whatsoever against Brock Lesnar in a shoot? And finally, much like walking in on your parents as they are, you know, getting busy, the Hulk Hogan sex tape is something you see that you can never ever unsee. But it’s news, so we have to talk about. And you can listen to it by downloading the link, so you better do that immediately.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #203

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Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Late & Half Assed Review of @ImpactWrestling

Posted on July 26, 2012 by stuntgranny

I need to get stuff off my DVR since I’m traveling to Altoona PA for my nephew’s baptism. Gues who the godfather is? It’s a trifecta, second from the family. It’s late already. Let’s roll.

Sting comes out with serious face on. Sting, temporary GM, calls them out but Austin Aries calls them out. He wants some. You know who else wants some, Kurt Angle? Their trifecta is Bobby Roode. Smart move, he blames James Storm. Storm attacks from behind. The other guys let them fight. Roode claims the attack as proof. Even better.

Tara tells us how awesome Chavo Guerrero. Then Kid Kash. Then Kurt Angle. All blowing some serious smoke. Roode rants and raves about not being believed. Good continuation. Gail Kim & Madison Rayne are taking on Tara & Mickie James. The wrestling is good between Tara, James & Kim. No big surprise. Madison doing a good job in her role. Earl ends up giving Madison the duke because Mickie had her shoulders down but lifted one out of his view. Sting tells Austin Aries to address the X Division and “make some cuts.” Yeah, fire half of them!

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@ImpactWrestling Twitter Compilation & Aftermath

Posted on July 6, 2012 by stuntgranny

Tweet: We’re now following @REALBully5150 because of another fun exchange between Joseph Park & him. The sentence was long. Park > Abyss. Aftermath: You can follow us @Stuntgranny just in case you’re new to the site. Ray started off slow but his mic work was better with Park in the ring. I’m so happy to not see the Abyss gimmick. It’s such a hacky rip off that just about anything he’d do other than it would be better. Park happens to be a fun, unimposing baby face which doesn’t get used enough.Good segment.

Tweet: Why did the Aries & Hogan feel like they taped in separate studios? Aftermath: They talked past each other because neither of their egos could share the camera. Bad segment.

Tweet: I’m finally getting sucked into this dumb AJ Styles story line. Still not worth the garbage that came before. Aftermath: They interviewed Dixie Carter about the father of Claire’s kid. This material has turned me because it’s very Jerry Springer or Maury with the whole baby daddy material. It’d crack me up with Kaz, Daniels & Styles had to take paternity tests. Good segment.

Tweet: Crimson dropping like a rock. First Morgan, now Devon who in no way needs that win. AJ Lee >>>>>>>>>> Madison Rayne. Aftermath: Devon is a good steady hand. Crimson still needs help. Did I use enough greater than symbols? Bad segment.

Tweet: Sabin didn’t feel real to me. Roode played his part well. Aftermath: I can’t add more.

Tweet: Flip Cassanova is fighting @JohnnyGargano ‘s clone who is related the Demolition Man. Good to see #PRIMEWrestling represent. Aftermath: Flip is still a bit sloppy & caused Dakota Darsow’s likely broken nose. Flip does look like’s he’s improved even with the problems.

Tweet: Glad that Tenay & Taz explained Gail Kim’s clause like it was a hostage situation. They call the match fine right after. Tweet #2: Why did the champ just get the sucker finisher then pin? Tara doesn’t need to look that strong. Aftermath: It felt like Al Qaeda dropped in thirty seconds then left. Bad match for the ladies which was made worse by Tara hitting the Widow’s Peak then letting Tessmacher hit her finisher too. Gail shouldn’t be getting her comeuppance the week before a title match. Bad segment.

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Kevin’s Blog: #iMPACTWrestling – For The Hell of It

Posted on April 29, 2012 by stuntgranny

I need this head scratcher to figure out Hogan's Open Fight Night concept.

I know I mentioned this in an audio recently but I’m not sure I mentioned it in this space. My levels of reviews are Definitely or Almost Live which happens the night of the show. A Day Late & A Dollar Short is, duh, the next day. For The Hell Of It title says I just want to put content on the site. I’d imagine anyone that wanted to read a review of these shows has done it already. I’m throwing some pity because of their dismal ratings news. Plus, I know I won’t review the show on time this coming week. I have a ticket to go see Mick Foley & the Reverend Bob Levy on Thursday. I’m excited.

I want to vomit already. Hulk Hogan just called Samoa Joe & Brutus Magnus the greatest tag team ever. OK, well, only one champ each “Fight Night” can be called out? Or is Hogan just assigning one title match and the rest of the champs can still be called out? Devon comes out and calls out Bully Ray. I guess the champ can call someone out. All of the roster is hanging out together. Um, why? Just watch from your locker room. Bully Ray turns down the challenge. Shouldn’t Hogan have come out and enforced his won rules? Devon starts the match by attacking Bully Ray on the ramp. At least Taz called the Dudleys the greatest tag team of all time. He was trying to correct Hogan’s nonsense. They probably aren’t but they’re closer than the other clowns. Nothing happening before the commercial break.

Taz & Mike Tenay are praising the concept but doing nothing to help define it. The action has been pretty solid. It’s all familiar stuff. It makes sense they’re going for big shots and power moves. Devon gets the win after a spine buster. I would have liked to have seen him get some more offense in before the pin fall. Austin Aries talks about not being impressed with Bully Ray. Ric Flair is asked about the proper send off for Eric Bischoff. According to Flair, Eric is the greatest promoter of all time. Yep, I’m sure that’s why “his” company got bought by WWE.

Kazarian & Christopher Daniels talked to Kurt Angle. He yells at them for helping him because he doesn’t need anyone’s help. OK then. Jeremy Borash came to the ring. He says that Eric Bischoff is the biggest prick the company has ever had. Borash wants to fight him. Bischoff comes down clapping. As Eric talks, Bully Ray low blows JB. Bischoff pulls his leg up and gets the pin. JB could have kicked out. Ball shots hurt but prove a point. And why does a leaving heel need heat? Or this much camera time? Boy I can’t think of why they’re rating is below 1.0.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #iMPACTWrestling

Posted on April 19, 2012 by stuntgranny

Jeff Hardy's shirt reminds me of Impressionist paintings. This one is Sunrise by Monet, who is a favorite of mine.

James Storm is distraught over not winning the TNA Title. I’m not the biggest fan of this happening. They do make things work. I thought Bobby Roode would have been dropping the title too soon, which I don’t think I’d said in my previous reviews. I still think Storm should have won but they gave him a nice out by having him practically won. Roode comes out to gloat. I’m digging the new hair cut. It fits a suit better. Roode says he has no opponents left which brings out Mr. Anderson. Roode tells him to get to the back of the pack. Jeff Hardy hobbles out. He thinks he deserves a title shot. Him & Anderson argue. Hulk Hogan wants all the champs out in the ring later. Hardy will fight Anderson.

Crimson & Bully Ray team against Matt Morgan & Austin Aries. Morgan starts against Crimson. They continue to do the heavy work but Crimson was on offense most of the time. Aries gets the tag and brings the fun to the match. Bully Ray pulls the trunks to win. Garrett Bischoff is sauntering in the back.

Hardy thinks it’s his turn to get the title. Jeff thinks it was a good call by Hogan for the match. Garrett comes out. The crowd is excited for the guys around him but go silent when he starts talking. He thanks AJ Styles, RVD & Anderson along with Aries in the back. Ric Flair interrupts the blow jobs. Flair tells Garrett the truth when he rips his mic work. This story continues. Please kill me. They bleep the Bischoff for Eric. Woof. If you’re going to rip someone else’s mic work, bring something other than your worst. Christopher Daniels was holding evidence about AJ Styles. Double Ugh.

Magnus & Samoa Joe talk to Devon about the champs meeting. Short & pointless. Kurt Angle is taking on AJ Styles. My cable cut out of the match but went to commercial. I didn’t miss much. Styles is in control after the break. Daniels gives AJ whatever is in the mystery envelope. AJ screams “How’d you get this?” Angle rolls up AJ for the win. If it was AJ this whole time, why did you wait to reveal it? Stop continuing story lines that suck. Joseph Park tries to talk to Gunner. Park wants answers. Gunner tells him to ask Bully Ray because they wrestled together last.

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Kevin’s Blog: A Day Late & A Dollar Short Review of #iMPACTWrestling

Posted on April 6, 2012 by stuntgranny

Read below if you want the fun stuff from this week. I’ll keep the depressing stuff off of my introductions. Who wants to hear that? We’ve all got enough of that. Let’s roll.

I’ve finally set my DVR to record an extra five minutes during this show. Hulk Hogan gets the first intro from Dixie Carter because he didn’t get enough air time last week. He books a match between Crimson & Matt Morgan for Lockdown. Hogan sets up a women’s championship challenge who will take on Gail Kim. Hogan trades insults with Ric Flair who doesn’t have a mic. Bobby Roode shows up late with his scruffy looking security team. Roode tries to tell Hogan off but he puts the brakes on it. Roode has to wrestle Mr. Anderson. Hogan then books Jeff Hardy vs Kurt Angle next. Hogan proved me wrong. He got down to business with that segment.

I’m digging Angle’s new tights, more specifically the “Angle” on the leg portion that looks and is colored like the Olympic rings. Jeff Hardy started on offense. Kurt Angle got control before the commercial break. Good place for the match to be in. Hardy takes back over after the break. Triple suplexes by Angle. I’ve always dug the top rope belly to belly over head suplex from Angle. It should really end a match sometime. Hardy started a low blow. Good for him. Who doesn’t know that’s coming from a heel who just held a ref as a shield? Angle leaves. They stopped at a good time. Angle & Hardy could have a better match. Hogan is backstage and informs Angle he has a cage match at Lockdown with Jeff. Ric Flair talks to Eric Bischoff. That’s how informative it was. Bully Ray changes his name to Calfzilla. He says he’s the next world champion. Bully Ray is going to take out Austin Aries.

Bully Ray has eaten some large chicken wings. Austin Aries comes out. Aries shushs him then assaults him with a mic. Aries ends up power bombed after punching Ray in the head. Joseph Park is looking for Abyss still.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #iMPACTWrestling

Posted on March 29, 2012 by stuntgranny

How is this not part of the Pie Shops collection?

In less than twenty four hours, one Jeremy Maes and his lady friend will be in Columbus to kick off a weekend of shenanigans for Wrestlemania. It’s not quite being there but we’re hoping to do more on the site. The Hall of Fame being on Monday isn’t going to help in the content department. In the mean time, I’ll bring you some coverage that isn’t the WWE. Let’s roll.

It appears as if I missed nothing last week in regards to Hulk Hogan. Dixie Carter said he has until the main event (I’m guessing) to make his choice. Bobby Roode comes down to the ring with his legal adviser and security. Why are they not called lawyers in wrestling? As I ask, Roode calls him a lawyer. The security is to help James Storm, who naturally comes out after Roode tells him not to. Glad Storm called them mall cops. Storm gets ambushed by Bully Ray. Nothing much happens except Roode fleeing. Storm challenges them both to a match. What is it with the TNA stars going two on one? AJ Styles just made the same dumb mistake. Madison Rayne sits down with Gail Kim. Gail got her a tiara to make up for their rough month. They seem to make up. Cool deal. They’re better as a team.

Christy Hemme is introducing people from the crowd for some reason. The boy beside her hasn’t hit puberty because he isn’t staring at her fabulous tits. Madison is taking on Velvet Sky. For some reason, the Hulk & Dixie segment is next. Velvet is expanding her offense but she still doesn’t seem smooth. Velvet stole HHH’s finisher! Ha. Whatever. It was a modified Pedigree. Makes sense to go face versus heel. Hemme interviews Velvet. She never got her rematch. For some reason, the camera man focuses on Velvet’s stomach as she makes the belt gesture. Woof.

Bully Ray uses BFF for the second time in a couple of minutes. He gives a unification speech. Dixie & Hulk met on a park bench with a camera man acting like a peeping Tom. They said the cameras were there so why would they act like that? I want to punch the camera man. Or the director. Dixie wants Hogan to fix his mistakes. Why is he her only option? Lots of people can run companies. Bring in Shane McMahon. He’s not on WWE TV. I feel like they should have aired this before Dixie said the same thing at the top of the show. We get Crimson and Matt Morgan review. They’re up next.

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#iMPACTWrestling – For The Hell of It

Posted on March 18, 2012 by stuntgranny

I know I’m way late on this review but whatever. Ha, forgot they had a pay per view. I haven’t checked for results either for this show or for the pay per view. I suppose I can rate their PPV pimping. They’re starting off with Bobby Roode vs Sting build up. Victory Road is the name of the PPV. James Storm thinks there’s not enough givers. He talks about Lockdown. Ugh, just like ROH, they’re doing their best to mix up the pay per views. Bully Ray tells Storm he’s fired up. Bully Ray reminds him of the correct PPV to promote. Storm isn’t going to make it to Victory Road because of Bully Ray. Gunner gets called out to take on Storm. Orlando knows something because they’re chanting “Gunner sucks”. Madison Rayne & Gail Kim are yelling at each other. They try to talk to Sting. Gail is going to take on Mickie James. Madison takes on Velvet Sky.

Roode is going to embarrass Sting at Victory Road. I’m power watching. No ring entrances. Velvet attacks Madison who tried to get an early jump on her. Madison wins with a pull of the tights. That makes no sense. She doesn’t look strong going into the PPV. Crimson & Matt Morgan are sort of arguing. Crimson is playing up his undefeated streak again. Morgan is mad but won’t say anything.

Crimson is taking on Samoa Joe. Their partners are at ring side. Last time this match happened, Joe got bitched. I’d imagine he’ll get more offense in this match. Joe is definitely doing it. Joe gets distracted by Morgan. Crimson spears Joe and gets the win. That type of a win for Joe & Magnus would have helped when they got their first crack at Crimson & Morgan.

Austin Aries gives us X Division champ stats so that he can inform us that he’s the longest reigning champ. Aries plays a high light reel of himself. I like his character but this isn’t doing much for me. He thanks his opponents for being good but not great. That’s better. Zema Ion spoils the party. I dig his look. Now if Ion would just get the tassles off his wrestling pants. Ion threatens to injure Aries. Ion tosses champagne in Aries face. Aries dumps the rest of the bottle on him. Solid build up.

Joseph Park says hi to Gunner. Parks can’t ask a question before Gunner bails for his match. We get replay of Eric Young & ODB getting engaged. They start planning the wedding. They need to contact Eric Nelson for planning tips. They’re getting married in the ring. I hope Nelson does too. Kurt Angle is worried about Garrett Bischoff. He loves swearing. They’re having a five minute match. Angle is going to match Victory Road Jeff Hardy’s last match. I seriously doubt it.

(more…)

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Kevin’s Blog: A Day Late & A Dollar Short Review of #ImpactWrestling

Posted on March 9, 2012 by stuntgranny

I'm a picky bastard sometimes.

I’m going to put this post in but then do the review later. I want everything to be in order of TV time but I want to play on Twitter while reviewing Smackdown. So, we get a placeholder. I’m a bit surprised the dogs are sleeping already. An early turn in for them. I’ll roll later. It’s time to roll, but I’ll be taking breaks to watch The Ultimate Fighter. Let’s roll. Officially.

Garrett Bischoff is cool because he drives a jeep with no top and wears aviator sunglasses. It is a really strange story and I have no idea why you start the show with it. Eric Bischoff & Gunner come out to Ric Flair‘s music. Eric gets to yap. I tune out. Kurt Angle is teaming with Gunner. Taz asks the dumbest question on the planet. Who is Garrett going to choose as a partner? Hmm, maybe the guy feuding with Angle. Angle yaps. I tune out. The crowd chants “Hardy”. See Taz, that’s how obvious it is. Sting makes me laugh by being in partial black face in front of the mirror. Even Eric Young looks at him strange. EY asks for his permission. I’m not sure what the hell is happening? Why did Sting forget EY’s name? What the fuck? Sting goes back to talking to the mirror. It kept my attention better than Eric or Kurt. Still didn’t make a lick of sense.

Eric Young & ODB got a title bout with Gail Kim & Madison Rayne. The Women’s Tag Titles are an unnecessary albatross. The dumb announcers didn’t listen to the crowd and wonder again who will team with Garrett. That’s as dumb as Josh & Booker not calling out Mitchell Cool on Smackdown. EY gets the hot tag. So Madison nails EY with the title belt and he falls on Kim for the victory. I hope this put the titles to sleep. EY offers ODB a ring and they go to commercial. That’s supposed to keep me hooked? Really? Really? Really?

The crowd is into it, chanting “Say yes”. ODB ends up putting the ring on EY. The comedy side of their act is good. The wrestling part is, um, woof. Joseph Park looks like a fat guy in a suit. Bully Ray tells Storm he’s not making it to Lockdown. He threatens Sting. Austin Aries reads his email from Sting. Looks like he had a Droid X. Nice choice. Aries wonders why they’re throwing away a money match on free TV. He’s going to take his talents to South Beach. Good stuff from both guys.

Zema Ion comes out to fight Austin Aries for the title. This isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Aries is playing the face. He’s been doing too good of a job. OK, my cuts to The Ultimate Fighter are now over. I’m hoping this will move along now. Aries ends up using the hair spray on Ion to cause the DQ. That’s one way to get them to the PPV. They didn’t give much away. Still a really dumb idea. Joseph Park talks to Velvet Sky. He asks about Abyss because he’s his “brother”. Dear lord, it’s a Abyss cleaned up. Didn’t recognize that earlier. Getting him away from that character could help him. He’d need to improve in the ring still.

(more…)

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #iMPACTWrestling

Posted on March 1, 2012 by stuntgranny

I'm at the middle of the show and completely confused by everything happening and not in a good way either.

I’ve got nothing for an opening today. I’m tired but ready to bang out this review. Let’s roll.

Jeremy had a great line about Sting. Bobby Roode made him so mad, he was going to start going around everywhere in black face. So wish I had thought of that one. Evidently Kurt Angle is going to tell us multiple reasons why he attacked Jeff Hardy. My guess is that Jeff stopped supplying him with vitamins, cough cough. Kurt brings out cue cards. At least he’s not hiding his note cribbing like the Rock. Unlike the Rock, Angle is in no way electrifying. Just like the Rock, his promo sucks. He calls out Hardy. Jeff slaps him then double legs him. TNA loves officials from the back. Bobby Roode is still the “IT Factor of professional wrestling”. Ask the Miz how much that matters. Austin Aries wonders in. He says indirectly he tweeted something but not what he wrote. Excellent way to craft a promo. If you’re a moron. They talk a walk together because we can’t get enough of fighting authority figures in wrestling today. (That’s a huge dose of sarcasm.)

Daniels & Kazarian come out for the gauntlet match against AJ Styles. Ah, if AJ wins he gets to know why Kazarian turned on him. Why didn’t Daniels order Kazarian to be the first in the match? Kazarian can just lay down now. He still doesn’t like being controlled. They went to commercial break early. Kaz gives AJ his finisher to DQ Daniels but then pins AJ. Daniels looks confused. In a way, I don’t blame him but the main point is not giving out the info. Madison Rayne tries to impress Gail Kim with a bunch of pictures. Gail got them a day at the spa and a match against ODB.

Kim comes out with Madison for the match. Not a fan of the heel vs heel. ODB brings Eric Young to the ring with her. Madison Rayne stopped a bronco buster with a boot to the cooch. EY distracts the ref while his woman is winning. ODB gets the win when Kim can’t interfere? They argue again. Bully Ray berates the make up lady. Roode & Aries make the pitch to get rid of Sting to him. Velvet can barely complain about being screwed before Angelina & Sarita attack her.

They come back from commercial and Velvet Sky is complaining again. She was screwed by Madison. The screwing stops now. Then they replay what they did before the break. Excellent work morons. Weakest assault ever. Mickie James makes the save in the strangest outfit ever. She’s gone 80′s neon. Ric Flair yells at Garrett Bischoff. They want Garrett to come to his sense still. For some reason, Flair, Gunner & E Bisch think they can continue to beat down Garrett. Ground Hog Day something fierce.

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