Kevin’s Blog: A Day Late & A Dollar Short Review of #iMPACTWrestling

Read below if you want the fun stuff from this week. I’ll keep the depressing stuff off of my introductions. Who wants to hear that? We’ve all got enough of that. Let’s roll.

I’ve finally set my DVR to record an extra five minutes during this show. Hulk Hogan gets the first intro from Dixie Carter because he didn’t get enough air time last week. He books a match between Crimson & Matt Morgan for Lockdown. Hogan sets up a women’s championship challenge who will take on Gail Kim. Hogan trades insults with Ric Flair who doesn’t have a mic. Bobby Roode shows up late with his scruffy looking security team. Roode tries to tell Hogan off but he puts the brakes on it. Roode has to wrestle Mr. Anderson. Hogan then books Jeff Hardy vs Kurt Angle next. Hogan proved me wrong. He got down to business with that segment.

I’m digging Angle’s new tights, more specifically the “Angle” on the leg portion that looks and is colored like the Olympic rings. Jeff Hardy started on offense. Kurt Angle got control before the commercial break. Good place for the match to be in. Hardy takes back over after the break. Triple suplexes by Angle. I’ve always dug the top rope belly to belly over head suplex from Angle. It should really end a match sometime. Hardy started a low blow. Good for him. Who doesn’t know that’s coming from a heel who just held a ref as a shield? Angle leaves. They stopped at a good time. Angle & Hardy could have a better match. Hogan is backstage and informs Angle he has a cage match at Lockdown with Jeff. Ric Flair talks to Eric Bischoff. That’s how informative it was. Bully Ray changes his name to Calfzilla. He says he’s the next world champion. Bully Ray is going to take out Austin Aries.

Bully Ray has eaten some large chicken wings. Austin Aries comes out. Aries shushs him then assaults him with a mic. Aries ends up power bombed after punching Ray in the head. Joseph Park is looking for Abyss still.

AJ Styles talks up Bobby Roode and James Storm. Storm ends up asking Styles to have a tune up match. Mickie James, Winter, Tara, Angelina Love, Madison Rayne and Velvet Sky are competing for the shot at Gail Kim. For some reason, they take the commercial break after everyone is in the ring. Dumb. Winter & Tara are fighting to start. It’s tag format so unless I thought I’d be pinned, I wouldn’t tag out. Angelina gets in by sneak tagging Tara. Winters tags Mickie before her & Angelina can fight. I hope they can get to that unexplained, at least it was acknowledged, break up. Velvet gets in. I feel like they could finish this feud better now. Angelina is still a better wrestler but Velvet has improved since they broke up. Madison tags Mickie then assaults her & Velvet. Finisher montage. Double Underhook DDT by Velvet for her to get her rightful place. Mr. Anderson is asked for a prediction for Roode vs Storm. Anderson says he’s going to beat the champ. Roode tells him to walk away. Security needs to tighten their ties. They look sloppy.

James Storm & Jeff Hardy went to the Amercian Country Music Awards. Eric Young is having the quietest bachelor party ever. He rattles off a bunch of old Toronto Blue Jays. ODB spices up the bachelor party. Not one of their better segments. James Storm comes out. AJ Styles is still wearing the gloves. Weird. AJ has the upper hand first. This match is a foregone conclusion so I’m not very interested. I feel a bit bad for AJ. The dude can’t seem to find a consistent personality. I’m a bit surprised the match wasn’t longer. Last Call Super Kick for another win. Hogan tells Sting to go home and get healthy.

James Storm gets to party with his country friends. Bobby Roode shows up. The country guys have got no charisma. Roode spits water in their face. Mexican America take on the Motor City Machine Guns. Yikes, didn’t remember seeing Sabin’s injury. Ouch. Anarquia & Hernandez didn’t even get an intro. Sabin looked sharp for his first short tag in. Sabin gets the hot tag too. He looked great aside from landing on one leg when Shelly pulled him off Hernandez’s Border Toss. Sabin says they want the tag team titles. Ric Flair says Hogan is out of control. Hogan has some nerve booking matches on a show that he’s the general manager. Eric Bischoff says that they’re still on top. So getting your son beaten up means you’re on top of the company? That’s a pathetic goal.

Hulk Hogan calls down Bischoff. After Eric questions Hogan’s leadership, Hogan makes a Team Eric vs Team Garrett match.The losing Bischoff is gone. Eric calls him a son of a bitch off mic.

Another James Storm video package. He’s gotten a lot of build up time. Storm almost has to win at this point. Mr. Anderson introduces himself. Bobby Roode can cheat to win so that Anderson doesn’t look too bad fresh off a comeback. Anderson could use a little extra time at the gym but he looks better than he did before he left with the injury. The ref counts as he tries to avoid “glass” from a “beer bottle” a fan had. Hey dumby, why are you counting? Storm and Hogan come down to the ring. Anderson gets a reverse decision. Oh well, it was basically the expected finish.

5 Responses to “Kevin’s Blog: A Day Late & A Dollar Short Review of #iMPACTWrestling”

  1. Avatar
    frythedeliveryguy 2012-04-07 at 2:23 pm #

    I’m going to Lockdown.

    No worries, I’m not excited either.

  2. Avatar
    frythedeliveryguy 2012-04-09 at 10:04 pm #

    I do plan on starting a “Fire it Up” chant when RVD comes out though.

    • stuntgranny
      stuntgranny 2012-04-09 at 10:06 pm #

      I might have to get the show. We’ll need to get some on the ground info.

    • stuntgranny
      stuntgranny 2012-04-11 at 11:08 am #

      Do you follow us on Twitter? Or send us an email stuntgranny@gmail.com so we can talk about doing stuff for Lockdown. -K

      • Avatar
        frythedeliveryguy 2012-04-13 at 12:33 pm #

        I’ll email you, I really don’t twitter.

Leave a Reply