TNA has a new television program and network

Posted on January 21, 2013 by stuntgranny
Poop. Poop is an idea.

Poop. Poop is an idea.

TNA announced today they have reached a two year contract extension with FUEL TV to air what assuredly is compelling television. FUEL who carries Impact Wrestling will now be adding TNAs new programs , well here is how they describe it.

‘Unfinished Business’ – an in-depth look at historic feuds and moments in IMPACT WRESTLING history – and ‘British Boot Camp’, a thrilling six-part entertainment series following four aspiring British wrestlers as they embark on their ambition to join TNA’s wrestling roster.

Now you may be wondering if I have gotten the channel name wrong. No it is not Spike TV carrying IMPACT wrestling,  it is definitely FUEL TV. It just so happens that we are talking about Australian television and not the good ole US of A. Yup, TNA is trumpeting a television deal with a network in a totally different country since the company makes no waves over here.

Just how long is this Unfinished Business show supposed to run? What historic feuds have they had? They certainly have had feuds but nothing really historic. So, it should have a shelf life of about four to six weeks I figure.

Leave it to the exhausted braintrust of TNA to concentrate on another program when their flagship program still draws the exact same god damn rating it has for years. There has been no growth other than the amount of television they have and even then they are ridding themselves of PPVs. So there is less money making potential with less PPVS but now we get a nostalgia show of a company that has been around ten years.

I give up.  -Jeremy

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Honey Boo Boo Gonna Wrestle Child

Posted on October 23, 2012 by stuntgranny

You know, this is just white trash all over and it really is just an exasperating idea. According to TMZ James Pittaro of Pro Wrestling Academy in New Jersey has sent out the offer to Honey Boo Boo herself to train with TNA star Robbie E. Yes that adorable scamp Honey Boo Boo of “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” and “Toddlers and Tiaras “ fame has been propositioned to train for professional wrestling.  It should be noted here that this kid is seven.

Yup, seven-years-old.

Seeing as how I watch both Toddlers and Tiaras and Here Comes Honey Boo Boo this makes me the utmost authority on the situation. SO, this tiny piece of trash has no business anywhere near the profession of professional wrestling. This girl has been exploited most of her life and wrestling is not something she needs.  If you watch the show there is no regard for this child’s well being and it is clear that this promoter wants nothing but the cash grab from having this monster on his shows.

Yes this is a clear attempt at attention on the part of James Pittaro and it worked. Doesn’t make it right of course but it was successful. It made TMZ, wrestling sites and this site, whatever it is. This is never going to come to pass of course but if it got him attention so be it.

The worst part about this story has to be that TNA has found its name dragged in to this through Robbie E. Okay that is a lie, Dixie Carter has to be in hog heaven right now seeing the TNA name on TMZ and the cable news outlets. Between this and the Hulk Hogan boinkathon TNA sure is getting a lot of publicity. Well, they might have if Hogan had mentioned Bound for Glory and TNA at least 2% of the time he was making media rounds last week.  But that is for another post.

Disclaimer: I don’t really care about Honey Boo Boo and her monster of a mother. There is no reason to have sympathy for anyone involved in that show. -Jeremy

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Possible TNA salary information floating around

Posted on October 8, 2012 by stuntgranny

Found this floating around on the internets:

Note 1: There was no information received for the likes of Hulk Hogan, Dixie Carter, Bischoff, and Jeff Jarrett. We have to assume that their contracts are tied up in the corporate end, and not through the system that pays performers.

Note 2: Very few TNA performers get generous “WWE style” perks such as first class travel and hotel comps.

Note 3: TNA do recieve merchandise cut bonuses, these are noted where applicable, although exact figures were not made available to us.

Note 4: As you will observe, TNA downsides are MUCH lower than WWE downsides.

Note 5: Kurt Angle and Sting both have contracts wherein, they are only required to work a certain amount of dates per month.

AJ Styles: $390,500 downside/receives a merchandise bonus – 3 year contract
Abyss: $344,280 downside – 2 year contract
Austin Aries: $145,310 downside – 2 year contract
Bobby Roode: $275,000 downside – 3 year contract
Bully Ray: $305,200 downside – 3 year contract (this is believed to be his previous contract which expired last month)
Chris Sabin: $144,500 downside/receives a merchandise bonus – 2 year contract
Christopher Daniels: $183,000 downside – 2 year contract
Hernandez: $174,220 downside/receives a merchandise bonus – 3 year contract
James Storm: $268,470 downside/ receives a merchandise bonus – 3 year contract
Jeff Hardy: $728,450 downside/ receives a merchandise bonus/travel paid for
Kazarian: $141,000 downside
Kurt Angle: $1,000,000 downside/receives a merchandise bonus/travel and accommodation paid for/maximum of 10 dates per month
Matt Morgan: $350,000 downside – 3 year contract (this is believed to be Morgan’s previous contract)
Mr Anderson: $625,700 downside/receives a merchandise bonus
Rob Van Dam: $680,000 downside/receives a merchandise bonus/travel paid for
Samoa Joe: $400,000 downside/receives a merchandise bonus
Sting: $840,750 downside/receives a merchandise bonus/travel and accommodation paid for/maximum of 10 dates per month
Gail Kim: $150,000 downside/receives a merchandise bonus – 2 year contract
Madison Rayne : $77,400 downside – 2 year contract
Mickie James: $177,940 downside/receives a merchandise bonus/contract allows for flexibility with James’ music career
Sarita: $62,100 downside
Tara: $98,410 downside (this is believed to be Tara’s previous contract)

Don’t know how much, if any of it, is accurate, but if it’s available online, then you know it must be the gospel truth. Like this: Last night aliens abducted Jeremy Maes, ripped his heart out, and replaced it with that of a sheep. So now he bleats when he tries to talk. Take it to the bank. – Dusty

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Viacom may pull Spike from DirecTV, just in time for me to enjoy Impact Wrestling

Posted on July 10, 2012 by stuntgranny

Is it a) where I do my best thinking, b) where TNA will go if Viacom leaves DirecTV, or c) all of the above?

I feel obligated to link to Prowrestling.net, even though I saw this story on Magnus’ Twitter account while I was on the toilet: Viacom and DirecTV are at each other’s throats about subscriber fees, and Viacom is threatening to pull all 17 of its cable channels from DirecTV, including MTV, all the Nickelodeons, and, yes, Spike, home of TNA Impact Wrestling. I remember a time when I wished a swift, curb-stompy death to TNA, but the post-Russo era has made for pretty good television and, from what I’ve seen through my neighbor’s window, pretty good pay-per-view. Bobby Roode came into his own as a world champion, Austin Aries is being given a run, Bully Ray became the best heel in the business (after Chris Jericho decided to dry up and die), Hulk Hogan, Sting and Kurt Angle found their roles, and even garbage like Robbie E and Garrett Bischoff have followed their paths back down the ladder.

So of course, what happens but TNA’s home network’s parent company threatens to leave a broadcast platform that offers a couple hundred thousand fans, at a time when a 1.0 rating is a time to celebrate. Oops. This sort of posturing and muscle-flexing happens all the time between networks and cable/satellite providers, but the gray cloud still looms. Hey, Dixie, as soon as you decide to scrap the Claire Crackhead storyline, you might want to give Fox a call. They should remember you.

For more on this story from DirecTV’s point of view, go to their sappy video page here. -Eric

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@ImpactWrestling Twitter Compilation & Aftermath

Posted on July 6, 2012 by stuntgranny

Tweet: We’re now following @REALBully5150 because of another fun exchange between Joseph Park & him. The sentence was long. Park > Abyss. Aftermath: You can follow us @Stuntgranny just in case you’re new to the site. Ray started off slow but his mic work was better with Park in the ring. I’m so happy to not see the Abyss gimmick. It’s such a hacky rip off that just about anything he’d do other than it would be better. Park happens to be a fun, unimposing baby face which doesn’t get used enough.Good segment.

Tweet: Why did the Aries & Hogan feel like they taped in separate studios? Aftermath: They talked past each other because neither of their egos could share the camera. Bad segment.

Tweet: I’m finally getting sucked into this dumb AJ Styles story line. Still not worth the garbage that came before. Aftermath: They interviewed Dixie Carter about the father of Claire’s kid. This material has turned me because it’s very Jerry Springer or Maury with the whole baby daddy material. It’d crack me up with Kaz, Daniels & Styles had to take paternity tests. Good segment.

Tweet: Crimson dropping like a rock. First Morgan, now Devon who in no way needs that win. AJ Lee >>>>>>>>>> Madison Rayne. Aftermath: Devon is a good steady hand. Crimson still needs help. Did I use enough greater than symbols? Bad segment.

Tweet: Sabin didn’t feel real to me. Roode played his part well. Aftermath: I can’t add more.

Tweet: Flip Cassanova is fighting @JohnnyGargano ‘s clone who is related the Demolition Man. Good to see #PRIMEWrestling represent. Aftermath: Flip is still a bit sloppy & caused Dakota Darsow’s likely broken nose. Flip does look like’s he’s improved even with the problems.

Tweet: Glad that Tenay & Taz explained Gail Kim’s clause like it was a hostage situation. They call the match fine right after. Tweet #2: Why did the champ just get the sucker finisher then pin? Tara doesn’t need to look that strong. Aftermath: It felt like Al Qaeda dropped in thirty seconds then left. Bad match for the ladies which was made worse by Tara hitting the Widow’s Peak then letting Tessmacher hit her finisher too. Gail shouldn’t be getting her comeuppance the week before a title match. Bad segment.

(more…)

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Angelina Love is out of TNA/Impact Wrestling.

Posted on July 2, 2012 by stuntgranny

According to her Twitter account, Angelina Love is no longer part of TNA or Impact Wrestling. She hasn’t been seen in months after the terribly long, boring and nonsensical storyline of her becoming Winter’s zombie but not totally a zombie.

To all my wonderful fans, just want to let you know I have been granted my release from TNA. It was completely amicable parting of ways and I want to thank TNA and all of its employees for the wonderful journey I’ve had there over the years. Now I’m on to the next amazing chapter of my life! If you are looking to book me please contact John at john@spectacularsignings.com Thank you so much!

This isn’t a terrible loss as it was the first time she was released by TNA due to visa issues. Love was at one point one of their most important stars. Along with Velvet Sky they formed one of TNA’s only in house star making groups. They then proceeded to tear it down and build it up and then tear it down again for no real reason. No one has come out better for it and it dried up a revenue stream for TNA. So congrats to that Dixie.

Anyway, you have to figure she is dropping the porn name and will return to Angel Williams for her independent bookings. Wait, Angel Sky isn’t that bad of a name really but this isn’t Hentai so never mind. -Jeremy

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News We Missed: Chris Sabin, Animal Planet, Randy Orton & Kelly Kelly

Posted on June 19, 2012 by stuntgranny

Since we haven’t had a news round up in a while, let’s move on for some small ditties. According to Prowrestling.net, Chris Sabin has torn his other ACL and will be out of action again. You’ve got to feel bad for this guy after being back for no more than two months to have it happen again. Granted, he wasn’t going anywhere since his partner in crime Alex Shelley bolted for some pasture that isn’t even as green as TNA. Maybe Sabin can help design TNA’s video game. Oh that’s right, they’re only good enough to have a board game.

Staying in Impact Wrestling, Eric Young will be hosting a program on Animal Planet called “Off The Hook: Extremes Catches”. His first episode will feature how he keeps catching a contract from Dixie Carter. In the second episode, EY will be explaining how he caught ODB as his wife. In the third episode, we’ll find out what Young can catch in his beard. By the time the fourth episode is ready to air, Animal Planet will realize they’ve wasted more money on EY than TNA so they’ll mercifully cancel the show.

Last but not least, both Randy Orton & Kelly Kelly are set to make returns to the WWE. Orton will be ready to go when the WWE visits Cincinnati for Monday Night Raw. I can’t wait for HHH to come out and rip on him for how skinny Orton has become during his hiatus. Kelly Kelly will be sleeping with the guys in the back starting this coming Monday. She will stick around long enough for the WWE to mention Maxim’s Hot 100 enough to make guys feel like that outdated magazine means anything. If you do like that magazine, I feel sorry for your penis when you jerk off. -Kevin

Filed under: Kevin's Blog, TNA News, WWE News | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Jeff Jarrett, Karen Jarrett take to Twitter for half-assed TNA Hall of Fame campaign, probably an angle

Posted on June 10, 2012 by stuntgranny

Yes, it is a Karen angle. *fart*

Woke up early this morning (around 10 a.m.) and checked Twitter, and what did I see? Karen Jarrett, tweeting and retweeting up a storm about how her husband and esteemed TNA founder Jeff Jarrett should be the first inductee into the TNA Hall of Fame. Here are some literate retweet examples:

@karenjarrett; #ThankYouJeff, With Jeff We Wouldn’t Really Even Have TNA. @JeffJarrettTNA.

@karenjarrett #ThankYouJeff, Jeff is TNA. Mr. TNA.

@karenjarrett it’s a disaster that @JeffJarrettTNA is not going in the hall of fame! Does @TNADixie understand all his hardworking he put?!

It’s true, he did hardworking a lot of put!

And then I see these Tweets from Karen herself:

How about this…let’s forget about the HOF and show@JeffJarrettTNA the respect he deserves for taking a chance and having the guts to do

What know one else could. Give wrestlers another option and place to go!!! #ThankYouJeff #ThankYouJarrett

And something about Dixie Carter blocking Twitter followers who Tweet her about Jeff Jarrett going into this hall of fame:

So Dixie carter is blocking fans,and getting the big stars to do the same because speaking our minds #ThankYouJarrett #TNA10@karenjarrett

Yeah, this this smacks of an angle. Oh, unless you ask Karen herself:

@H2HCrelly not working twitter @JeffJarrettTNA is right here in Hendersonville. Ask @TNADixie why he isn’t there….

Whatever, he could be in Hendersonville, Jupiter right now, and TNA would still find a way to turn this into the most intriguing war of words since Corky had an argument with his girlfriend on “Life Goes On.” Only TNA would take the one thing its fans care about less than Robbie E regaining the TV Title and turn it into a lukewarm, one-woman Twit-shit fest. If anyone, TNA’s first hall of fame inductee ought to be Cheex, for damn near ruining TNA’s first pay-per-view and putting us out of its misery before it was even born. -Eric

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Stunt Granny Audio #189

Posted on June 6, 2012 by stuntgranny

Jeremy & Kevin are back in your ear holes this week with even more inside jokes! They start off by talking about the proposed TNA Hall of Fame. Naturally, they wonder whether TNA is worthy of any such monument. After talking over that topic they move on to the next logical question, who is worthy of induction? Would there be any one aside from the founders Jarrett & Bob Carter? Jeremy & Kevin go through the show from June 19, 2002 to get some ideas. Does Ken Shamrock deserve this honor? They move on to contemplating whether any of the current wrestlers on the TNA roster deserve it. Would they be ballsy enough to induct Hulk Hogan? How about trying to bring back someone like R Truth? Jeremy & Kevin talk about girl power brought to you by Dixie Carter and Brooke Hogan. Is she famous for anything that Tazz listed in his introduction of her? Will she finally stop taking daddy’s money now that she has a woman’s job? What do these ladies have in common with 50 Shades of Grey? And what is Brooke’s job going to be? Jeremy & Kevin wrap this part of the conversation by wondering whether they’re rather have sex with Carter or Brooke. Their last topic from TNA is Gut Check and more specifically Joey Ryan. Does he really act like Ron Burgundy? Does he make good points for how the Gut Check gimmick works? Is he better than Alex Avila who won the first time? Find out this and more when you click on the link below!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #189

Filed under: Audio Updates, Podcasts, TNA Audio Show, TNA News | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

TNA is mad at Ric Flair

Posted on May 22, 2012 by stuntgranny

Naw, I got it covered Dave. trust me. Hey is that the backdoor?

According to Prowrestling.net, Ric Flair’s time with TNA may be coming to an end.  He has built up enough heat with the company that they may let him go. I wonder where Ric could go where if TNA let him go? Well, it may not be that easy, apparently he has been a very bad boy. Over at Gerweck.net they have more details on Ric’s exploits.

Apparently Ric has been doing the exact same things he was doing last year? Now it is a problem because, um, because he went to the WWE Hall of fame inductions and TNA got jack shit out of the deal? Ha ha bad businesswoman you got played.

I am sorry but I really think it is totally baddass and ironic that a 65 year-old man has been banned from The Hard Rock Café for essentially acting like a rock star. What happened to the world? You can’t act like a boorish fool in a place that owes its entire business  to a long established history of boorish behavior? Fuck off.- Jeremy

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