According to Prowrestling.net, TNA mega-super-duperstar Jeff Hardy has released his debut album, “Similar Creatures,” on the TNA Knockout Music label. (Wow, really TNA? A record label? I know WWE has one too, but I assure you this was a money-making strategy and not another example of a presidential hairbrush handle in the cooch.) For those of you who haven’t heard Mumbly Jeff Hardy’s post-grunge flounderings in the past, waste your own time Googling it, I’m at work right now. But I assure you, the same kids who run around their backyards like Day-Glo mongoloids in their Jeff Hardy T-shirts and wristbands are going to listen to this and cringe. And keep in mind, they eat paste. -Eric
I figured since Final Destination is on Sunday, I may as well do a de facto preview. I’ve got a couple of hours before I go out drinking with my buddy who is in town from Pittsburgh.
Kazarian starts off by call us choads. You deserve the shit you’re given. Bobby Roode cuts a fair enough program but I’m not sure why he’d put this double albatross around his neck. Christopher Daniels is OK at being insincere but I’m just so tired of this feud. AJ Styles is cutting an OK promo too. Still bored. Jeff Hardy & James Storm save Styles who picked a bad fight. They replay Austin Aries, Bully Ray & Hulk Hogan. Aries gets to cut the promo. He’s pushed buttons and wants to push more. I guess he likes video games.
I only looked at the headlines on Dot Net this morning so I know someone debuted or came back tonight. I also know that there’s a new TV Champion. Considering it’s a one on one match, the outcome between Samoa Joe and Devon is pretty easy. The match was cheap. Earl is distracted by a hot blonde. I guess that’s what happens since Madison Rayne left. DOC nails Samoa Joe with a hammer. Devon covers for the win. Brooke Hogan is happy about a contract delivery. Hmm, I’m guessing this is the mystery person.
I’m not shocked that they’re continuing this dumb angle with D’Lo Brown and Al Snow. They’re cool but a match is happening between them, right? Mickie James comes out in a dress. She made a pact to win the Knockouts Champion. Well, duh. Tara interrupts to brag about Jesse. Velvet Sky comes out. Three terrible promos in a row. Robbie E is freaking out about paying his insurance. Robbie T is a smart sophisticated European so he knows how to work an iPad. Why did I choose to review this show again?
That was their big promo before wrestling Chavo Guerrero & Hernandez. I don’t care about this match. Shocking, isn’t it? The Mexicans who were both born in the US take on Joey Ryan & Matt Morgan on Sunday. I’m sure Morgan is thinking it was a great idea to re-sign with TNA. Hernandez didn’t injure Robbie T. Chavo wins with the Frog Splash. Joey Ryan interrupts. Morgan attacks from behind. Big Morgan & Big Organ. I’m just angry now. Nothing gets better when Devon acts like he enjoys the strippers “going lesbian”.
Garrett Bischoff & Wes Brisco have Kurt Angle‘s back. I could like the group if Garrett & Brisco could act at all. Chavo barks all day little doggy while Hernandez tries to look tough. They cut the promo short. Jimminy Cricket.
Filed under: Kevin's Blog, TNA News, TV Recaps | Tagged: AJ Styles, Al Snow, Bobby Roode, Brooke Hogan, Bully Ray, Chavo Guerrero, christopher daniels, D'Lo Brown, Devon, DOC, Garrett Bischoff, Hernandez, James Storm, Jeff Hardy, Kazarian, Kid Kash, kurt angle, Mickie James, Mike Tenay, Robbie E, Robbie T, Samoa Joe, Tara, Taz, Todd Kenely, Velvet Sky, Wes Brisco, Zema Ion. Kenny King | Leave a Comment »
It’s been a Kevin heavy week with me attending Raw, actually getting to Prime Wrestling and now having a Friday devoid of my girl I get to do more reviews. TNA has gotten the short end of the stick recently around these parts. So even though I watched a little of it last night, I’m starting fresh for this review.
I didn’t hear much of this James Storm promo last night because Baby Momma Drama wouldn’t stop talking. I didn’t miss much. Not bad but no meat to it. Bobby Roode interrupts. He has much more meat on his end. I like it. I like it even more after their scuffle and him talking Storm into a dumb match. Hulk Hogan talks about AJ Styles’s frustration. Hogan points out that he’s his own worst enemy. So it was his idea to put him into a never ending feud that ended abruptly and was terrible 75% of the time for the last year? I don’t think so.
DOC gets to defend himself. He points out all of the beatings he’s been dishing out. Devon picks someone by dart. I’d whoop his ass in Cricket. Kid Kash gets a shot at the TV Title because he’s on the roster. Not sure the last time I saw him win. RVD is doing the selling early. This match has been terrible. Both of them look at fault for it. RVD with the frog splash. Yawn. Eric Young is talking up his show, except for not using the name. ODB is still horny. The whole act has lost some momentum.
Kurt Angle talks to Garrett and whoever the other guy is. I watch every week. Wes evidently. No wonder I don’t remember it. Jesse is taking on Young. The ladies are at ring side. EY pays too much attention to ODB whooping on Tara. Jesse catches him with a super stunner for the win.
Filed under: Kevin's Blog, TNA News, TV Recaps | Tagged: AJ Styles, austin aries, Bobby Roode, christopher daniels, Devon, DOC, Eric Young, Garrett Bischoff, Hulk Hogan, James Storm, Jeff Hardy, Joseph Park, Kazarian, Kid Kash, kurt angle, Magnus, ODB, Prime Wrestling, Rob Van Dam, RVD, Tara | Leave a Comment »
With a Presidential debate and a Major League Baseball playoff game going on around them, our intrepid heroes Kevin and Dusty are focused on one thing, and one thing only: the major happenings of the last week in the world of professional wrestling! The two contemplate who would have been a better choice to lead the Aces and Eights group in TNA. Would anyone in the known universe have been a better choice than poor, mediocre Devon? They talk about the ponderous Hulk Hogan sex tape, and how HH is no longer b-fri’s with notorious wife swapper Bubba the Love Sponge. Is Jeff Hardy the right choice to lead TNA as its World Heavyweight Champion, or is he a ticking time bomb that you should never put in such a prominent position? Dusty makes his sales pitch for Ryback winning the WWE title, and Kevin is *almost* buying. And the fearless duo finishes things off with a Mount Rushmore of Wrestling Tough Guys, as the backdrop to the alleged altercation between Harley Race and Vader this past week. And a whole lot more nuggets of golden awesomeness, so listen!
Filed under: Audio Updates, Podcasts, TNA News, WWE News | Tagged: Aces and Eights, austin aries, Bobby Roode, Bound For Glory, Bubba The Love Sponge, Bully Ray Dudley, CM Punk, Detroit Tigers, Devon Dudley, Eric Bischoff, famous artist, Hindenburg, Hulk Hogan, Idiot Intern, Impact Wrestling, James Storm, Jeff Hardy, John Cena, lead balloon, Linda Hogan, Matt Morgan, New York Yankees, Paul Heyman, Presidential debate, Rob Van Dam, Ryback, Samoa Joe, sex tape, Sting, TNA, wife swapping, World Wrestling Entertainment, WWE | 1 Comment »
Kevin and Dusty are at the helm for this edition of Stunt Granny Audio, and what an edition it is! The two heroes are momentarily distracted by Dusty’s A’s destroying Jeremy’s Tigers, but are eventually able to turn their attentions towards the latest happenings in the world of professional wrestling. Both Brian Gewirtz and Jim Cornette lost their jobs as head writers for WWE and ROH, respectively. What is the fall out going to be for those two promotions? Can we expect tangible changes, or are these just superficial changes that won’t really incur actual changes unless other moves are made? CM Punk had showdowns with both Vince McMahon and a fan on this past Monday’s Raw. Can a slap really reverberate to the knee, or is the fan just looking to get his sue on? Is it ridiculous for Vince McMahon to be standing toe-to-toe with a top wrestler? TNA’s salary information got leaked on the internet mysteriously. We agree that it’s fun to just gossip about things you’re not really supposed to know. Who is overpaid? Who is underpaid? Will Kurt Angle be heading back to WWE anytime soon? Dave Batista made his MMA debut recently. Is he in it for the long haul or is he just trying to keep his name out there until Vince takes him back? Will he actually be successful at this endeavor? Would he stand any kind of chance whatsoever against Brock Lesnar in a shoot? And finally, much like walking in on your parents as they are, you know, getting busy, the Hulk Hogan sex tape is something you see that you can never ever unsee. But it’s news, so we have to talk about. And you can listen to it by downloading the link, so you better do that immediately.
Filed under: Audio Updates, Podcasts, Prime Wrestling, ROH News, TNA News, WWE News | Tagged: Brian Gewirtz, Brock Lesnar, Bubba The Love Sponge, CM Punk, Dave Batista, Detroit Tigers, fan altercation, Gail Kim, Hulk Hogan, Impact Wrestling, James Storm, Jeff Hardy, Jim Cornette, kurt angle, Matt Hardy, MMA, Monday Night Raw, Oakland A's, overpaid, ROH, salary information, sex tape, shoot, the face bone is connected to the knee bone, TNA, underpaid, Vince McMahon, work, World Wrestling Entertainment, WWE | Leave a Comment »
Found this floating around on the internets:
Note 1: There was no information received for the likes of Hulk Hogan, Dixie Carter, Bischoff, and Jeff Jarrett. We have to assume that their contracts are tied up in the corporate end, and not through the system that pays performers.
Note 2: Very few TNA performers get generous “WWE style” perks such as first class travel and hotel comps.
Note 3: TNA do recieve merchandise cut bonuses, these are noted where applicable, although exact figures were not made available to us.
Note 4: As you will observe, TNA downsides are MUCH lower than WWE downsides.
Note 5: Kurt Angle and Sting both have contracts wherein, they are only required to work a certain amount of dates per month.
AJ Styles: $390,500 downside/receives a merchandise bonus – 3 year contract
Abyss: $344,280 downside – 2 year contract
Austin Aries: $145,310 downside – 2 year contract
Bobby Roode: $275,000 downside – 3 year contract
Bully Ray: $305,200 downside – 3 year contract (this is believed to be his previous contract which expired last month)
Chris Sabin: $144,500 downside/receives a merchandise bonus – 2 year contract
Christopher Daniels: $183,000 downside – 2 year contract
Hernandez: $174,220 downside/receives a merchandise bonus – 3 year contract
James Storm: $268,470 downside/ receives a merchandise bonus – 3 year contract
Jeff Hardy: $728,450 downside/ receives a merchandise bonus/travel paid for
Kazarian: $141,000 downside
Kurt Angle: $1,000,000 downside/receives a merchandise bonus/travel and accommodation paid for/maximum of 10 dates per month
Matt Morgan: $350,000 downside – 3 year contract (this is believed to be Morgan’s previous contract)
Mr Anderson: $625,700 downside/receives a merchandise bonus
Rob Van Dam: $680,000 downside/receives a merchandise bonus/travel paid for
Samoa Joe: $400,000 downside/receives a merchandise bonus
Sting: $840,750 downside/receives a merchandise bonus/travel and accommodation paid for/maximum of 10 dates per month
Gail Kim: $150,000 downside/receives a merchandise bonus – 2 year contract
Madison Rayne : $77,400 downside – 2 year contract
Mickie James: $177,940 downside/receives a merchandise bonus/contract allows for flexibility with James’ music career
Sarita: $62,100 downside
Tara: $98,410 downside (this is believed to be Tara’s previous contract)
Don’t know how much, if any of it, is accurate, but if it’s available online, then you know it must be the gospel truth. Like this: Last night aliens abducted Jeremy Maes, ripped his heart out, and replaced it with that of a sheep. So now he bleats when he tries to talk. Take it to the bank. – Dusty
Filed under: TNA News | Tagged: Abyss, AJ Styles, austin aries, Bobby Roode, Bully Ray, christopher daniels, Dixie Carter, Eric Bischoff, Hulk Hogan, Impact Wrestling, James Storm, Jeff Hardy, kurt angle, Matt Morgan, might not be entirely accurate, Mr Anderson, salary information, Samoa Joe, Sting, TNA, Total Nonstop Action | 2 Comments »
Changes are afoot at Stunt Granny so Dusty & Kevin are here to talk about them. Who suggested this change? Who pushed to make the change immediately? Are the guys going to abandon wrestling? Of course not. Kevin’s girlfriend is ready to though after four months of watching WWE Raw. What did she diagnose that Kevin found so funny? Is it a familiar complaint? Why is the WWE oblivious the myriad of problems when a novice can spot them? Dusty & Kevin move on to talking about some of the positives of Raw. How did they rank the segments with CM Punk, Paul Heyman, Mick Foley and John Cena? Does Dusty still have contempt for Foley? Is the power couple of CM Punk and Paul Heyman working? What could John Cena do to help remedy some of the problems that novices can point out? They move into a lighting round and talk about Jim Cornette as a baby face commissioner. Is his gimmick as bad as a heel GM? Dusty & Kevin finish by talking about Austin Aries going heel to fight Jeff Hardy. Who gets a guest shout out for posting about this topic on the Stunt Granny Facebook page? Find that out and more when you click the link below!
Filed under: Audio Updates, Podcasts, ROH News, TNA News, WWE News | Tagged: #WatchROH, A Cook's Tour, Anthony Bourdain, austin aries, Bigfoot, Chupacabra, CM Punk, conspiracy theories, Dr. Watson, facebook, Get Jiro, Impact Wrestling, Jeff Hardy, Jim Cornette, John Cena, Loch Ness Monster, Macho Man Randy Savage, Mick Foley, No Reservations, Paul Heyman, Paul McCartney, Raw, Sherlock Holmes, WWE | Leave a Comment »
Stunt Granny hit the ground with a loud thud this week. We came to bring you the best available wrestling news but it devolves quickly into talking about a strange Asian man dancing like we will at Eric’s wedding, a cat singing Game of Thrones and one of Kevin’s ridiculous friends’ stories coming out of the US Men’s Soccer match against Jamaica. They start talking about TNA right when Eric joins the fray and start talking about a special kind of breathing. We do get around to some News That You Can Use like, did TNA really have a pay per view this past weekend? They figure out the answer was yes and talk about their odd booking policies. Does James Storm versus Bobby Roode have the same ring without the TNA Title on the line? Why did Jeff Hardy go over? Eric & Jeremy move on to Doug Stanhope’s new stand up act. They try to convince Kevin to go to his show on Friday in Columbus while he silently listens to them babbling. The trio eventually gets to the big news of the week, Jerry Lawler’s heart attack. They ponder whether it is OK to think this might have been a work? What tells gave it away that it wasn’t? After hearing about all of that craziness, don’t you want to click on the link below? Yes you do because that’s why you come to the site.
Filed under: Audio Updates, Podcasts, PPV Recaps, TNA News, WWE News | Tagged: anal breathing, Bobby Roode, Cats, Des Moines, Doug Stanhope, Game of Thrones, Jamaica, James Storm, Jeff Hardy, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Mitchell Cool, Roadrunner, Samoa Joe, TNA, USMNT, Wile E. Coyote, WWE | Leave a Comment »
Tweet: Oh, the picture of Hogan in the hospital is priceless for comedy. Pay Back Time doesn’t sound like you’re mad enough.
Tweet: I liked Storm’s promo but he hit 4 topics: Aries, Roode, Aces & Eights & Kurt Angle. That’s a bit much.
Tweet: How neither Taz nor Tenay guessed it was Aces & Eights. Ah nevermind. They’re terrible announcers. After The Show: The announcers sat there and wondered why Kurt Angle wasn’t showing up. I hate announcers playing the super dumb card.
Tweet: Remember when Pope had lots of untapped talent in WWE? Yeah, it’s getting foggy for me too. After The Show: I remember when he had lots of talent in TNA too. Then he got caught in the endless Devon’s children feud after a botched feud with Samoa Joe, his opponent last night. Some people have no luck. He’s one of them.
Tweet: TNA wants you to check Twitter so that you can see that their roster got even more bloated with Chavo Guerrero.
Tweet: It was a fluke Jason Hervey! Aren’t you glad you’re producing Z grade shows with Eric Bischoff?
Tweet: At least TNA has had the good sense to keep Robbie T out of the ring. They need to kill this lame gimmick though. After The Show: I think the guido gimmick could still work but neither TNA nor the WWE have gotten behind the guy and allowed a consistent theme to be established. Robbie E just happens to be more lame than Zack Ryder who has his own take on the gimmick that feels much more personal.
Tweet: Jeff Hardy is a moron. After The Show: He was a moron because he got counted out attacking Robbie T. You’ve beat worse odds plus, do you lose your hearing when you attack someone? Shouldn’t you be able to hear the ref especially when you’re no more than ten feet from him?
Tweet: EY mention the name of the program you’re hosting you dumb ass! After The Show: Come on, I even mentioned it in this dumb column. You need people to watch your show to get it renewed. Why mention a new program without a channel or show name. Maybe the dumbest thing in wrestling for this week.
Filed under: Kevin's Blog, TNA News, TV Recaps | Tagged: Aces & Eights, AJ Styles, austin aries, Bully Ray, christopher daniels, Claire, D'Angelo Dinero, Hulk Hogan, Jason Hervey, Jeff Hardy, Joseph Park, kurt angle, Mike Tenay, Mr Anderson, Robbie E, Robbie T, RVD, Sting, Taz | Leave a Comment »
In my Twitter Compilation, I noted that I should look at Jeff Hardy’s new shirt. I forgot to note that he has two of them. I’m going to break it into two articles because both of them are very interesting. The first shirt that came out was named Through Tha Night. I felt like it would be a disservice to throw up a picture of something like Starry Night by Vincent Van Gogh even if I think Jeffery Nero Hardy definitely had inspiration from him. You don’t compare anything to one of the greatest pieces of art ever. One nit I’m going to pick that is not related to the design is the name. If you’re going to spell The funky, why not shorten Through to Thru? Jeff could have gone with Nigh to wrap up the name. It was bugging me. I had to say it. Moving on to the design.
Jeff has decided to go without a design on the rear. There is the 10TNA tag back there but that doesn’t count. I’ve got to admit, going without a design on the back is a plus to me. It makes it feel less like a wrestling shirt which almost always has a catch phrase on the back.
The design is on the front and it appears to be an adapted painting of his own. He signed it in the lower right hand side which is the only reason I knew his middle name. His signature looks like a version of a shark or some type of fish with two fins. I was trying to discern his initials so here’s my theory. You can argue the back and face of the fish is a J. I’d then say that the fin is an N. For some reason or another, though I can’t spot an H. Maybe the inside of the J but I’m not buying it.
The focal point of Jeff’s design looks like it is a caricature of himself that has a bit of a stained glass feel because of the dark outline that is mostly black. The remainder of the painting doesn’t have a dark border until the edge of the painting. He has his purple and blue hair flowing at the top right hand side of the painting. “Jeff” has paint on his face that is in orange. He has a almond sliver eye that is white with blue tinting around the outside. The blue pops up again in his neck then further down in his arms. It looks like an abstract set of veins to me. The arm shown reaches to the other side of the shirt but is cut short before the hands. I believe the hands show up above and below the arm though. On the top, there is a webbed blue shape the it topped at each crest of the wave with a white ovular area that is a finger nail. Below the the arm, the colors are darker but it is the same design.
There is not much design that I see as belonging with the person presented as I do. Between the hands and the body, he has waves that some what echo the shape of hands but there seems to be no rhyme or reason for them. Orange and lighter green runs above and below the arm. Above the arm contains a couple of blue green rivers, one of which connects with the forehead. For some reason there is a blob of light blue below it that terminates near the point of the nose. A dark blue blob shows up directly below the nose which seems forced. Below the chin, is a dark blue field that is lighter than what is under the nose but dark enough to contrast with the baby blue. A similar pattern appears three times below the arm. The one pattern is engulfed by the purple color and almost forms what could look like a mouth.
This conglomerate of shapes helps to bring down the quality of the art. But I don’t think in the least bit changes the value of the shirt. It’s one of the freshest shirts I’ve seen in a long time. I like the quality of shirts for CM Punk but it’s stealing designs from the city of Chicago. I could even cite the older version of Jeff Hardy’s shirt which was a rip off of Andy Warhol. This shirt is Jeff’s handy work. I like the colors, the contrasts even if I think it doesn’t make me think of the night. -Kevin