My dogs have been freakishly tired today. They slept from 3 until 7 then woke up for a short walk and food and are back asleep. Time to start the review for the show on time then. Kind of a nice gig. I do need to grab some food though. Justin Roberts is explaining the Elimination Chamber rules. I’m a little surprised that the Raw Chamber match is first. Daniel Bryan may lose the strap in the main event then. I’m not a fan of Dolph Ziggler’s new jacket. CM Punk gets hosed and has to start the match against Kofi Kingston. Mildly weird to have two baby faces start the match. Punk looks really strange shaved. I was pleasantly surprised that Kofi got thru the first entrant. Ziggler is the first man in. Booker is really selling Dolph. R Truth is the next man in the match. Truth gets the Axe Kick on Ziggler who kicks out. I love that Punk keeps aggravating Jericho by doing stuff toward his pod. Truth gets covered after the top rope elbow by Punk to be the first eliminated. Kofi gets his spot with a springboard grab the chamber tornado DDT. Always need a spot monkey in these types of matches. The Miz enters with everyone else down. Miz starts attacking them all. Kofi ends up taking the brunt of the Miz’s offense. Punk kicks out of the Miz’s DDT. Punk locks in the Anaconda Vice right before Jericho comes out. Punk lets go of Miz so that he can duke it out with Chris Jericho. Chris goes on offense to start. Jericho only gets a two count from the Lionsault. Code Breaker on my boy Dolph gets him eliminated. Booker taking a weird tact saying that Jericho is too old to compete. Kofi & Miz are taking Edge Coffee Breaks (TM). Jericho uses the pod to weaken up Punk’s left shoulder. Kofi & Miz get some play time. Punk powerbomb’s Miz who kicks out. Kofi climbs on top of the pod and cross body blocks the Miz & Punk. The Miz kicks out so they have some faith in him still. Jericho locks in the Walls of Jericho for Kofi’s elimination. Jericho assaults Kofi after he is eliminated. Punk kicks Jericho out of the Chamber. Jericho acts like he’s out. The doctor comes to look at him. The refs count Jericho out by way of KO. The Miz kicks out after the same kick to the head. Punk sets up for the spring board clothesline. Skull Crushing Finale by Miz gets a close call. They’re making him look strong tonight. Miz just kind of yells at Punk and has some offense. King & Booker mentioning Miz losing his cool. Miz goes head first into a pod. GTS on the Miz leads to the victory for CM Punk. The match itself didn’t do a whole lot for me. I thought it was wise to keep the belt on Punk instead of swapping it to Jericho. I agree. Let Punk ride with it. They said the match was 33 minutes so that means there was about 15 minutes of entrance & review.

Mitchell Cool, Jerry Lawler & Booker T get to talk about Randy Orton being out of the Smackdown EC. Oh my, they’re calling Santino winning a Jeremy Lin moment. They cut to Santino dressed like Rocky and cracking eggs into a glass. WWE writers, you’re not funny. We get a sneak peak of John Cena lifting at Hard Knocks. The WWE Developmental kids love Cena for being nice. He focuses on the Rock so they are telegraphing even more that Cena wins tonight.

Beth Phoenix is wearing plaid because she sought advice from Rowdy Roddy Piper since he fought Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka. Tamina comes down second. The announcers talk about how much she reminds them of Jimmy. Two years after she started. Beth asks Tamina to get out of her ring. Beth has a head butt back fire on her. Tamina goes up early but Beth drops her to the floor. The crowd is pretty quiet for this match. Tamina goes for the splash again but gets caught by Beth again. Suplex from the second rope but Beth doesn’t capitalize. They exchange some big punches. Splash in the corner by Tamina leads to a kick. She sets Beth up for the splash for chance number three. Tamina nails the splash but Beth kicks out. They just put some interest in the match. Glam Slam shortly there after for Beth to retain. For some reason, the baby face announcers had to doubt Beth the whole match. I’d wager a guess that Kharma gets the slot at Wrestlemania now.

Johnny Wooden GM had a big story that WWE.com took an entire day to pick up on. Quality work within their own company. Johnny wants the same scrutiny for Teddy Long as he got for himself. Alberto Del Rio makes his return to something just over zero reaction. For some reason, Del Rio has a problem with him even though he’s a Raw guy. He wants Johnny to be the GM of both brands. Mark Henry comes to the ring. Evidently, you shouldn’t be suspended for assaulting management. This segment may have because a bigger black hole than Layla & Michelle McCool. Christian is going to try and drag this segment to some level of respectability. Christian looks like Karl Pilkington from An Idiot Abroad. Three votes and you think you deserve to GM of both shows? That’s a low bar. The crowd chants for HHH. Oh, Mitchell Cool puts in a vote for him too. Just awful.

Josh Matthews asks about the Big Show‘s bad track record at Wrestlemania and if he needs to have the belt going into it. We get nothing really. Woof. Wade Barrett starts the match against the Big Show. Not sure why I had the odd idea that anything other than Cena vs Kane would be the main event. Booker selling that Khali might cramp up in the pod. That angle should be used at some point for one of the guys squeezed in a pod like a sardine. Barrett getting in more offense than I expected. Big Show on the offense though when the clock hits zero. Cody Rhodes is the next out. The announcers have pointed out Barrett & Rhodes making fun of Big Show’s woes at Wrestlemania. I skipped a bit to cook some sausage. Barrett & Rhodes are fighting with the Big Show down. I’ll take it they double teamed Show. Santino is the next one in. Santino knocks down Barrett. He comes face to face with Big Show. He tosses Santino for a while until Rhodes clips Show. Big Show turns it around again. The crowd chants for Santino. Rhodes & Barrett suplex Big Show on the metal area. Rhodes is taking it to Santino. The Great Khali enters and knocks down Barrett & Rhodes. He takes out Santino too. Big Show spears Khali for the first elimination. Show stares at Daniel Bryan who will enter last. Big Show starts breaking into his pod from the top. Big Show walks thru the top to start beating on Bryan.  Cool spot. Bryan escapes when the pod opens but Bryan gets tossed thru the plexiglass soon there after by Big Show. He is just mowing thru Bryan. Big Show choke slams Bryan. Barrett nails Show with a couple of boots to the face. Santino almost gets a surprise pin. Disaster kick twice by Rhodes on Show. Rhodes plants Show with a DDT. Barrett drops a big elbow on Show. Rhodes gets the pin on Show. I didn’t see that coming. Santino pins Rhodes who is gloating over Big Show. Rhodes hits Cross Rhodes on Santino before leaving. Barrett hangs up Santino for the patented knees. Daniel Bryan gets a pin and rolls into an almost LeBell Lock. The crowd is confused since Santino is the only face left. Wade Barrett gets an endorsement by Cool & Booker. Bryan is definitely winning. Barrett powerbombs Bryan against the cage. Santino gets the rag doll treatment. Santino going for a second rope Superplex. Barrett misses the top rope elbow drop. Santino pins Barrett after a top rope head but by Bryan. This is going to be such a cheap win for Bryan. It’s awesome. He eliminated no one except Santino. A kick to the head doesn’t do in Santino. Bryan misses a charge in the corner. The crowd is buying into Santino being able to win. Bryan misses the top rope head butt. Santino goes for the Cobra. He nails Bryan who kicks out. Bryan turns it into a LeBell Lock. Santino tries to get out. The crowd goes nuts but Bryan keeps it locked and win. Sheamus attacks Bryan after the match. We got us another match at Wrestlemania.

Hornswoggle gets to make a cut the cheese joke with Natalya. No one farts like that. The WWE writers still aren’t funny. Jack Swagger and Justin Gabriel fill time around the cheese plate. Jack Swagger puts in his vote of confidence for Johnny Wooden GM. please let Teddy Long be the one GM. Why are these two clowns getting a match on the PPV? Evidently this match is the the title that Swagger has. I didn’t remember that. Hornswoggle is at ring side. Gabriel with a nice twisting cross body to the outside. Jack Swagger locks in Davey Richards move for the win. Fabulous.

The John Cena versus Kane video package allows me to put away most of my dishes. Too bad I couldn’t get to my laundry. It’ll have to wait for a while. Kane brings Cena back to the stage area where the ambulance is. Cena attacks him with the orange board. Cena acts a little hesitant. I think that was on purpose. Cena tosses Kane into the steps. He takes that so well. He tosses the top set really far every time. Kane reigns down on Cena with some punches. The dueling chants make it as loud as it’s been as it’s been all night long. Cena drops the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cool correctly pointing out they’re a long way from the ambulance. Kane gives Cena the Claw. Kane takes a while to start dragging Cena to the back. Kane grabs a wheel chair. Cena fights back when they’re about half way up the walk way. Cena throws Kane into the ambulance. Cena nabs the wheel chair and slams Kane with it. Cena puts Kane in the chair then throws it into some loose tables. That looked not painful at all. Thank goodness Kane whacks Cena with a foreign object.  Cena slams Kane with a chair in the gut then back. Cena and Kane fight thru the tech area and some in the crowd. Cena tosses Kane over the barricade. Cena whacks him with the microphone. Cena nails Kane with a Spanish monitor. He clears off the rest of the table. Cena whacks him with the top set of stairs. Cena makes a stairway over the Spanish announce table. An Attitude Adjustment gets turned into a Kane choke slam. Kane goes to the back and grabs the gurney. It’s a smart plan. There was only one other ambulance match? Kane versus Shane? Wow. I’m surprised. I didn’t expect a high number but I thought there was more. Cena fights out after Kane has him loaded into the ambulance. Que the Superman come back. Cena gets Kane to chase him to the top of the ambulance. Cena tosses Kane with an Attitude Adjustment off the top. There is no reason this shouldn’t be a formality. Big but obvious win for Cena. -Kevin