From burntorangereport.com

Smackdown and Impact Wrestling may have changed nights but it hasn’t changed my habit of watching Smackdown right before reviewing Raw. It doesn’t seemed to have changed Smackdown at all. I’m guessing after watching the Wednesday edition of Impact Wrestling that things won’t change much there either. I am not disappointed I forgot it to tape this past Friday because of it being the same old garbage. Let’s see if Raw is the same old garbage.

Paul Heyman & Brock Lesnar are the first ones out. Brock is pissed enough at Seth Rollins to take the mic away from Heyman. HHH comes out to try and pacify Lesnar. It doesn’t work. Stephanie McMahon brings the back up but that seems to be the only reason she is out now. Seth Rollins comes on the Titantron to antagonize Lesnar. Paul Heyman wants The Authority to leash their puppy. John Cena comes out to give a rah rah speech and drop some bad jokes. Steph gets to be catty to Cena and she delivers. Too bad the logic of the angle is terrible. Rollins gets to antagonize Cena now. Cena goes preacher mode to help sell the main event at the Rumble. The more Cena, HHH & Steph negotiate about the stipulation for Cena, the more I grow concerned that Cena will win the WWE Title at the Royal Rumble. (Next Day Note: Not sure why I didn’t notice the match was for Raw as it was happening.)

Bray Wyatt is taking on Daniel Bryan. Kane comes out right after Bryan air balled on cross bodying Wyatt from the top to the outside. Bryan does look like he’s lost the extra bulk he put on. Wyatt needs a name for his “collision” move. The WWE slacks off. So is Wyatt. (Next Day Note: Who is in charge of naming moves? I’m moving more towards the wrestler.) Bray is working over the neck which is a no brainer. The announcers are playing up the refs discretion again. People are still eating alive the Bryan come back. Wyatt tosses himself out. Bryan nails the suicide dive. Kane attacks Bryan and tosses him back in the ring. Sister Abigail for the win. Kane attacks Bryan after the match.

Scott Hall & Kevin Nash hug HHH. Shawn Michaels comes out last. Michaels wants HHH to re-hire the trio and bug torture them on Raw. Not very good retired guy like. Damien Mizdow comes out as X-Pac. Sean Waltman shows up. The Miz takes back his stunt double. HHH goes self deprecating humor saying he should be ashamed off their product. If you can make that joke, you’re acknowledging most of your material sucks. In my opinion.

Byron Saxton is in charge of the Legends Panel. Saxton asks Shawn Michaels, Hulk Hogan & Ric Flair about the decision John Cena has to make. They give one word answers. Saxton asks about their Royal Rumble moments. These answers are kind of generic. Michaels picks Bray Wyatt as his Rumble winner. Hogan picks Daniel Bryan. Flair chooses Dean Ambrose. Big Show comes out. He knows they’re jealous of him. Ric Flair decides to attack Flair. Big Show KO punches him. Roman Reigns shows up entirely too late. Reigns ends up clothes lining Big Show over the top rope. Renee Young is with John Cena to reveal the vote. 85% of the fans want the match. Cena is confident he can win the match so he’s fine with the decision. He is Super Cena.

Dean Ambrose is taking on Wade Barrett in a match I wish mattered more. Ambrose drop kicks Barrett off the apron to lead to commercials. Barrett is in control after them. It’s weird seeing Ambrose in a non-gimmick match. I like this version too. (Next Day Note: Of his wrestling. Wow that was vague.) Sling Shot Clothes Line by Ambrose. Name alert. Barrett crotches Ambrose. Dean slips out of Wasteland. Ambrose hits Dirty Deeds for the win. (Next Day Note: Congrats on coming back Wade, you get to job with a title again. At least it wasn’t to Sin Cara.)

I blow through the numbers vignette because they can only update the elimination record of Reigns which has been pounded into our heads for the past year. The New Day sucks even with promo time. Please stop reacting crowd. Big E & Kofi Kingston are taking on Tyson Kidd & Cesaro. Adam Rose is with the heels. The Cesaro Swing into a drop kick is an excellent team move. The body block suplex was not as hot earlier. Kofi had been taking a beating. Cesaro accidentally makes Kofi kick Kidd on the apron. Kofi rolls up Cesaro for the win.

Kevin Nash, Scott Hall & Sean Waltman take credit for everything great that has ever happened. The Ascension shows up. I’m not sure why I didn’t expect that. Good move to try and get them a personality. And booed. This gimmick sucks. JBL gets up and starts to berate The Ascension. Ron Simmons comes out. The New Age Outlaws hit the stage. The Outlaws end up putting the boots to The Ascension. JBL nails a Clothes Line from Hell. I’m disappointed Stevie Ray didn’t make an appearance.

Stephanie & HHH get a drum roll for the announcement of the main event mystery opponents. They are Seth Rollins, Big Show & Kane. (Next Day Note: I’m still mystified that the heels had a comedy segment. It was funny in and of itself but makes no sense for their characters). Nikki & Brie Bella are on the head sets. Paige & Natalya are taking on Summer Rae & Alicia Fox. Natalya gets distracted by Alicia Fox so that she can get into the match. They do have three good wrestlers in this match. Paige has quite an arsenal. PTO for the win. They have a face off with the Bellas. We’ll have less good wrestlers in the match at the Rumble. (Next Day Note: Anyone listening would have expected this outcome since the match up at the Rumble was announced before the in ring action started.)

I love Rusev giving the universal hurry it up sign (Next Day Note: Crowd, please stop playing along so that we can move R Truth off the roster.) during R Truth‘s entrance. Rusev gets drop kicked over the top rope. Rusev with the Accolade. I love Brock Lesnar putting the fear of God into Seth Rollins. His sell job helped out too.

Jey Uso is taking on the Miz with their partners at ring side. I love JBL shooting down the Miz vs Damien Mizdow as the finalists for the Rumble. Jey wins with a splash in a forgettable match.

The Authority was in the ring so John Cena was the only one with the big entrance. Big Show, Kane & Seth Rollins take their turns beating down Cena. Big Show misses a splash to give Cena an opening. J&J Security interfere to help swing things in Rollins direction. Cena hits the AA on Rollins but gets pulled out of the ring. Cena is being counted but makes that dumb leap at a very long ten count. Kane choke slams Cena. He kicks out. Sting shows up on the Titantron. He then comes out. Rollins gets rolled up for the win. Want to take bets that Sting doesn’t get all of the credit this time? (Next Day Note: Like he did when Dolph Ziggler was involved if you have no memory like the WWE wants you to have.) HHH melts down. Brock Lesnar shows up. He takes down Rollins. Kane & Show pull him off. F5s to Kane & Big Show. Rollins scurries away. I’m super glad the stipulation wasn’t dependent at the Royal Rumble. Pretty anti-climatic for Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan & Ryback. – Kevin