Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw – 30th November 2015

PPG Place in Pittsburgh PA. Saved from

PPG Place in Pittsburgh PA. Saved from

New Day starts off the show with a ticker tape parade of sorts. I just laugh at Big E using a Terrible Towel. The crowd slowly gins up a “Here we go Steelers!” chant. They introduce Sheamus for his celebration. I tuned out looking for pictures of Pittsburgh. He thanks Roman Reigns like it’s going to get heat. They dance together. Sheamus reminds us of Reigns 5:15 reign as champ. The crowd is off to a silent start. Roman Reigns Superman Punches Sheamus as he celebrates.

Reigns is celebrating with the Usos and Dean Ambrose when HHH & Stephanie McMahon come looking for the belt. He coughs it up easily. They give him a match against Sheamus but he has to win in less than 5:15. So the champion is going to look like chump? Tyler Breeze & Summer Rae are in the ring. Dolph Ziggler comes out next. Oh dear lord, Ziggler is the “measuring stick of success” in the WWE. Ziggler’s chance of moving up the card are officially finished. Ziggler hurts his shoulder before the break. I guess his knee is fine now. Breeze is still working over the shoulder. A series of pin attempts occurs. Ziggler super kicks Breeze out of the blue for the win. I have no idea why that just happened.

Rusev joins The Miz on TV. “We Want Lana” chants get Rusev mad. Lana finally comes out. Ive tuned out a second time though. They’re selling “Seriously, just forget about all of the dumb stuff we pulled after Wrestlemania.” This writing is incredibly bad. If they push him again though, the reset might work. Ryback comes out which is a dick move. We’re sick of them making out. I agree. Oh, Ryback came out because he had a match with him. Why did the announcers sound surprised then?

The match is going when we come back from break. Ryback is taking the attack to Rusev. Ryback shoves Rusev into the stairs. They hit Lana in the thigh. Rusev tends to her and gets counted out. JBL defending the win by Ryback is a consistency very seldom found. HHH tells Dean Ambrose that his title match will be pulled if Reigns doesn’t win in 5:15 tonight.

Bubba Ray is upset about being beat up by the Wyatt Family. He tells them they didn’t get the job done. They have one table for each member of the Wyatt Family. Devon reminds us of the 3 Commandments. Though shall not mess with the Dudleyz. The Wyatts show up. Tommy Dreamer shows up. Good gravy. Shahid warned me but I still wasn’t fully ready.

The six man match starts after the break. Bray Wyatt is the only one not involved. Why did Dreamer only tan his face? He ends up taking a beating at the hand of Harper, Rowan & Strowman. Bubba Ray gets the hot tag. Bubba talking trash kills me. The ref calls for the bell when all six won’t separate. The Wyatts set up a table. Bubba ends up pushing Wyatt off the apron through a table.

Zeb Colter still has no clear agenda for Alberto Del Rio. He then tells Goldust that he’s out of date. You’re no spring chicken either, Alberto. Goldust hangs onto the ropes so that he can be stomped. Beyond stupid. Del Rio slaps on the Cross Arm Breaker. Jack Swagger makes the save. “We The People!” is still over as well as anything else that’s been on this show. Charlotte is greeted by Becky Lynch. She wants a match against Charlotte to show off why they came up here. Lynch even sells a non-title match.

The Lucha Dragons are taking on The Usos with New Day on the head sets. Someone points out that New Day isn’t talking about the match so they start calling it as the announcers pretty much go silent. The New Day attack both teams in the ring for the DQ. Like they have never seen this trick back fire, every other time ever.

Stephanie McMahon makes a three way match with the tag team titles, but she puts on the stipulation that Reigns needs to win in 5:15 for the The Usos to be included. Team BAD and 2/3s of Team Bella are having a rivalry. Oh my lord, do they think this unity thing is going to get over? Yuck. Brie Bella is taking on Sasha Banks. Alicia Fox gets taken out by Naomi & Tamina. Alica gets helped from ring side. Sasha is beating down Brie. For some reason, Tamina needs to distract Brie for Sasha to hit the Back Stabber and Bank Statement combo. It makes Sasha look weak.

Roman Reigns is taking on Sheamus at the top of the hour. Reigns goes for multiple pins early. Sheamus takes advantage of Reigns getting too aggressive. Sheamus wears Reigns down as they look at the giant clock. JBL states the obvious that early pin falls are a stupid attempt. Reigns gets back on offense with 2:30 left. Reigns gets tossed over the announce table. Reigns recovers and shoves Sheamus into the post. Reigns has a hard time putting Sheamus back in the ring. Rusev attacks Reigns. You literally just pulled this stun in the tag match. Seriously, how can Ambrose or the Usos be pissed at Reigns? They know he, and them in return, got screwed. King Barrett, Alberto Del Rio, Rusev and Sheamus are The League of Nations. So this is the WWE’s solution, huh? I’d love to hear the ideas that didn’t make it.

Paige is on the head set for the Charlotte vs Becky Lynch match. Ric Flair is around to be arm candy. Paige makes fun of the team aspect of the Divas division. You do realize they’re still pushing this concept like just a few minutes ago? Even though Michael Cole or Byron Saxton could shut Paige up using logic (Charlotte won the title without Ric’s help and beat her without it too.) but they don’t. Charlotte sells an ankle injury. Lynch talks to Flair on the apron. Charlotte rolls her up. I’m confused why they’re feeding this story. You just established Charlotte as a baby face. My head is going to explode.

Charlotte is trying to help Becky Lynch step up. Becky needs to see the bigger picture. Paige comes when Charlotte leaves. Byron Saxton claims that Paige is stirring the pot. Seriously, my head just exploded. The Rosebush is a new segment. Jeremy is now right about my decent into madness watching this show. He’s followed by Stardust. Titus O’Neil wants Stardust to be happy.

The League of Nations is taking on Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns & The Usos. New Day comes out, again. They are joining the League of Nations. The baby face team is un-phased as they should be. Jimmy “injures” his new on a jump from the top ropes to start the selling. Jey gets a hot tag but the heels distract the ref to clock him. Jimmy is taken to the back during the break. It’s 7 on 3 now. Reigns gets a hot tag. XAvier Woods is doing the majority of the heel selling. Jey is selling his injuries on the outside. Ambrose is the only one left on the apron. I always have to note Eric Nelson’s favorite hold, the abdominal stretch. Del Rio misses that other dumb move he does going thru the ropes with a back slide off his opponent. Except he missed to cause the opening. Ambrose gets the best hot tag status of the match. He pretty much clears out the whole team. Ambrose attacks others at ring side. Sheamus recovers and Brogue Kicks him for the win. Reigns attacks as they beat down Ambrose. I love New Day, but just have the League of Nations do this. It would have established them instead of giving them a 7 on 4 win. It isn’t that hard. Why do you make it so hard? – Kevin

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