Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw – 20 June ’16

Mystery Castle in Phoenix AZ. Saved from wikipedia.org.

Mystery Castle in Phoenix AZ. Saved from wikipedia.org.

The WWE starts us off by telling us that Dean Ambrose doesn’t use Uber or is very generous with the driver. He tells us about his wild night. I’m not sure why he thought a Cleveland Cavaliers reference would play well in Phoenix. Ambrose calls himself “The Dude” which could work. Roman Reigns comes out. He admits it wasn’t his night last night. He tells Ambrose that it was his night. After Reigns asks how it felt to Cash In on Seth, Ambrose tells him he was going to Cash In on him too. Reigns only wants to deal with Ambrose. Seth Rollins comes out in a foul mood. He doesn’t want Reigns in the equation. Shane McMahon comes out to moderate the situation. Shane wants the Rollins vs Reigns match tonight to determine the contender. Rollins pleads for Stephanie but she is not around tonight. The match up is set for tonight.

Sami Zayn is taking on Kevin Owens. Both contestants are showing wear from the match last night. It ultimately won’t mean much as they’ll wrestle longer than should be possible. Zayn got the jump early in the match but before the break, Owens took control. They trade spots after the break. Owens gets a two after a super kick. They continued to trade moment. Zayn wins with a roll up from a Pop Up Power Bomb attempt.

Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn were still fighting after the break. The feud continues. Those guys are making a lot of money for each other at every level. The WWE Draft gets hyped. John Laurinaitis comes out to campaign to be the head of Smackdown. Shane McMahon comes to boot him. He ends up having to chase him off. Enzo & Cass get to do their thing. If it works, don’t fix it.

The Vaudevillains are their opponents again. Aiden English starts against Enzo. Byron Saxton throwing out an opinion I agree with. The Vaudevillains are an effective team and they have been allowed to show that, even in defeat. Enzo took the beating so that Big Cass could get the hot tag. Bada Boom Shackalacka aka Rocket Launcher for the quick win.

AJ Styles is out to act like he’s bummed about the outcome. He should be pumped about beating John Cena but he’s bummed because Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows interfered. AJ wants them to apologize to him. They come down to the ring. Anderson & Gallows both sheepishly apologize for their actions. John Cena is requested so he can get an apology. Cena rightly calls shenanigans. They both then apologize. Cena is still seeing through the charade. Cena really loves to compare dick size in these type of situations. Styles tells Cena to choose someone from the Club, but stipulates that it can only be Anderson or Gallows. Cena doesn’t care what the terms are, he’s taking on the Club tonight. Styles tells Cena that he’s wrong and appoints Karl Anderson as his opponent.

The match is on going when they come back from break. Cena keeps on looking back for Styles & Gallows. After hitting the Attitude Adjustment, they arrive to cause a DQ. They end up taking out Cena with their respective finishers.

Jojo gets to talk to Seth Rollins. Last night was about proving things last night. He proved he was the best by beating Reigns in the middle of the ring. Ambrose proved that he’s a thief. He’s mad about having to prove himself again. But he’s going to do it because he is the best.

Renee Young gets to interview Becky Lynch. She’s tired of trying to figure out why people keep stabbing her in the back. Natalya attacks from behind. She tells “Beck” that she’s finally looking out for herself.

Baron Corbin takes on Zack Ryder. The announcers get to hype Corbin for finally doing away with Ziggler. I checked out for the beginning of this match because I assumed a squash match. Much to my surprise, Ryder even gets to give Corbin a top rope elbow. End of Days not long after. Okay, so it was a squash match.

Bray Wyatt & The Wyatt Family still has some damn well produced vignettes. I watch them instead of buzzing through them like The Shining Stars.

Renee Young gets the next interview. This time it’s Paige. Renee keeps looking at her funny because Charlotte & Dana Brooke are behind them. They tell Paige that she can’t beat Charlotte without help. Paige says that she’s going to prove it’s still her ring tonight and storms off.

Their match happens after the break. Paige gets to beat up on Charlotte early. Dana Brooke pulls Charlotte out from the ring to turn the tide. She gets clocked for her good deed. Paige gets fired up and makes a come back. Charlotte ends up blocking a superplex. Paige knocks her down and connect with a moonsault. It only gets a two. Paige comes back again. Ram-Paige near the ropes. Brooke puts Charlotte’s leg under the ropes. The ref can’t see Brooke holding her leg and stops the count. Brooke gets ejected but Charlotte takes advantage of the situation. Natural Selection for the win. Charlotte & Brooke attack Paige after the match. Sasha Banks re-appears from whatever reason they kept her off TV. I can’t recall hearing a real reason why this has happened.

Roman Reigns is going to be “The Guy” tonight. That one was taken by Jojo.

The Wyatt Family is in Phoenix. Thanks for allowing me to catch up some more. He’s says they’re as strong as they ever have been. New Day interrupts much to my surprise. They talk about the Wyatts needing to use the Power of Positivity. It looks like the WWE wants us to forget his short lived face run before being injured. He tells New Day to run.

Make Darren Young Great Once, please. Lana introduces Rusev. Renee Young then interviews Titus O’Neil. He’s pissed about what he did to his children. O’Neil comes down to the ring. Rusev tries to kick him as he enters the ring.  This assault is awesome. I didn’t watch this match well last night. Jeremy told me it was physical as hell. That segment followed it up.

The Miz gets to be a dick on set. They do show the crew looking at him apathetically after the tirade is over.

Shane McMahon has had it out for Chris Jericho. He says that he should be the number one contender. Shane posits the idea that he could be running both shows so that Jericho can’t get away from him.

Dean Ambrose is going to be on commentary. Seth Rollins was out first with Roman Reigns coming next. Ambrose said that he told everyone his plan was to cash in that the MITB the whole time. Ambrose says he would have clocked Reigns with the briefcase too. Rollins and Reigns continue their in ring greatness. That’s why I completely don’t get the “You can’t wrestle” chants. Reigns gives Rollins a big boot on the outside for the first big move. Break time though. Rollins keeps up the assault but can’t quite drop Reigns. Rollins gets rolled up and power bombed. Reigns catches a spring boarding Rollins with a Superman Punch. Rollins kicks out at two. Rollins kicks a charging Reigns. It just pisses off Reigns. Rollins comes back with a spring board knee to the head. Rollins comes up empty on a Frog Splash. Reigns follows with a Drive By. After Rollins breaks the count out, Reigns spears Rollins onto the Spanish announce table. Double Count Out. Que Shane McMahon. He orders up a triple threat match at Battleground. Ambrose shows off the Title to Reigns. Roman gets in his face. Ambrose kicks Reigns and gives him Dirty Deeds. He returns to the ring and does the same. – Kevin

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