Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw – 11 July ’16

The Detroit Masonic Temple designed by George Mason in the Gothic Revival Style.

The Detroit Masonic Temple designed by George Mason in the Gothic Revival Style.

The WWE starts us off with a battle royal for the rights to wrestle for the Intercontinental Title at Battle Ground. The Miz gets to brag about his title reign. As Miz talks about bringing attention to the IC Title, I think that he could. Everyone wants to see someone beatable lose. You just need to have the right person beat him eventually. Some people got eliminated that everyone knew weren’t winning.

The final six are Darren Young, Bubba Ray, Alberto Del Rio, Apollo Crews, Baron Corbin & Dolph Ziggler. Young gets to eliminated Bubba. Del Rio still gets a solid positive reaction. His character needs direction. Maybe put thoughts together and things get better? Ziggler only visually eliminates Del Rio who slipped through the middle ropes. Del Rio comes back in only to be eliminated by Crews. Corbin eliminates Ziggler after a struggle. Crews then eliminates himself with Corbin. Darren Young wins the chance at the IC Title. So we get some sort of pay off for those dumb videos.

Shane and Stephanie have a discussion on why Vince McMahon is coming tonight. Shane sites many reasons. Seth Rollins wants his face to be put forward tonight. He suggests a new segment called the “Rollins Report.” Stephanie grants it.

Sheamus attacked Zack Ryder who was challenging Rusev for the US Championship. This action leads to a match in the next segment. Brogue Kick for the win. Ryder got in offense early then Sheamus took over and finished him. Rusev comes out and beats down Ryder. Um, why do we think Ryder has a chance against Rusev? He was just in a squash match.

The Lucha Dragons had a back stage segment with Breez-ango. It wasn’t good. I have more hope for the match. The announcers are really concentrating on the draft this week. They are stressing the order of the draft to boot. The match finally grabs my attention when Kalisto misses a spring board attempt. Breeze did a good job of covering it up. Breeze super kicks Kalisto who was going for a head stand on the top turn buckle. Breeze follows up with a power bomb/roll up for the win. These guys need some dimension other than the segment before the match.

Seth Rollins is in the ring for “The Rollins Report.” Rollins had a sit down interview with Roman Reigns. Of course it’s a bunch of clips of Rollins asking questions to a camera while they use multiple Reigns clips from previous interviews. Dean Ambrose comes out. Rollins calls Ambrose’s reign a joke. Rollins wants the title back that was stolen from him. Good work on his part. Ambrose says he’s been the back bone of this industry for a while now while other people are gone for various reasons. Ambrose knows that Rollins knows what Ambrose has been through and he’s going to do that and more to keep the title. Ambrose tells Rollins that he can get a one on one match any time. Rollins fakes excepting but then says next week.

Sami Zayn is on commentary. Kevin Owens is taking on Cesaro. Everyone is liked in this match. Stephanie was talked into removing Zayn from commentary. They end up fighting on the ramp.

Vince McMahon is ready to name the commissioner of Smackdown. Why is everyone surprised that Vince hasn’t informed his children of his decision? Isn’t this what he has historically done?

Kevin Owens and Cesaro had their match after the segment. Owens starts an extended beat down with a super kick after a missed charge on the outside. Owens starts to trash talk to Zayn in the ring. Cesar ends up suplexing Owens because of it. Uppercut Train. Owens tossed Cesaro onto the barrier from the apron. Owens hits a vicious neck breaker. Cesaro fires back with upper cuts. Owens pokes Cesaro in the eye. Owens misses on the Pop Up Power Bomb. Cesaro connects with a twisting spring board uppercut. Cesaro follows up with a cross body. Cesaro gets kicked off the Swing. Cesaro reverses a tornado DDT from the top rope. Cesaro drop kicks Owens on the top rope. Owens drops between Cesaro’s legs and crotches him on the top rope. Swinging Neck Breaker for the win. Strange finish since that move isn’t established. The announcers even not it. Sami Zayn attacks from the crowd. Owens retreats from Zayn but into Cesaro’s path. Cesaro gives him The Swing.

AJ Styles & The Club get interviewed. They make fun of Enzo & Cass for thinking John Cena cares about them. They point out that Cena is not here for them tonight. After they beat up Enzo & Cass, they’re going to catch a flight and go #BeatUpJohnCena.

Heath Slater is taking on Titus O’Neil. The Social Outcasts make fun of O’Neil in a video. Slater plays around with Titus too much. O’Neil just starts tossing Slater around. Slater catches O’Neil with a boot as he charged at him. O’Neil took back over though. O’Neil goes with a triple back breaker. Clash of the Titus for the win. He can be rebuilt after the Rusev losses.

Sasha Banks is interviewed by Renee Young. Banks says that Dana Brooke made a mistake challenging her. Charlotte & Brooke are trying to push her buttons but she doesn’t get mad. She’s going to get real.

New Day and The Wyatt Family do the high priced version of “The Final Deletion.” Why are they in the middle of a field for no reason. The action is choppy but that has been a staple of Wyatt videos too. Kofi Kingston and Big E are stuck taking on Erick Rowan & Braun Strowman. Xavier Woods ran away and then got attacked by Bray Wyatt. He comes back to make it a 3 on 2 contest. Woods makes a come back. Just when the New Day appears to have won, they run into Wyatt who is surrounded by a larger family.

Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson come out with AJ Styles. Enzo Amore gets to do the usual entrance schtick. Big Cass tells them that they’ll earn their shot at John Cena. They know that sooner or later, The Club will turn their sights on Enzo & Cass. Styles tries to talk them out of their match with Gallows & Anderson.

Enzo starts the match off with Anderson. The announcers are having to build up Gallows & Anderson again because they’ve done a whole lot of nothing since coming in. Naturally, Enzo is still taking a beating after the break. No one is surprised by this lay out. It works. Enzo creates an opening with a DDT. Big Cass cleans house. Bada Boom Shaka Lacka. Styles jumps to the apron. Cass attacks him. Styles tosses Cass over the barricade to cause the DQ. The Club goes in to attack Enzo when Cean’s  music hits. Of course John Cena would fly back for Raw. He’s a crazy person. The faces toss the heels and half of the crowd is happy.

Charlotte & Dana Brooke come down to the ring. Sasha has control most of the match which should be the case. They manage to get a commercial break though. Brooke takes over and starts wearing down Banks. Banks boots a charging Brooke to turn the tide. Banks gives her the double knees in the corner. Brooke talks trash and gets tossed into the turn buckle for her discretion. Brooke holds onto the ropes to stop a Bank Statement. Sasha hooks it in, has to roll Brooke back but eventually gets the tap. Charlotte wants Banks to fight Brooke again to prove she’s worthy of challenging for the Women’s Championship.

Vince McMahon is disappointed in both of them. He thinks Stephanie has been too passive aggressive. Shane should do something death defying like jumping off the Hell In A Cell. Steph listened to the Mick Foley podcast and lists a litany of transgressions Shane has committed against Vince. Shane wants to bring a true revolution from camera shots to leaving out the glass ceiling created by The Authority. Shane is still selling change. Shane is appointed the Commissioner of Smackdown. He celebrates. Vince then tells him that he’s off of Raw. Stephanie is appointed Commissioner of Raw. They both have to appoint General Managers to run their brands. Why is that layer being added? I’ll give it a chance. Stephanie had to work twice as hard to get where she is. Shane was just handed opportunities. Shane thinks that she’s not really mad, she’s scared that she’ll be looking up at him just like she always has. – Kevin DiFrango

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