Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE NXT – 9 Aug. ’17

Buddy Christ from Kevin Smith’s Dogma. Saved from MemeMaker.net

Sanity comes out demanding The Authors of Pain. Evidently this didn’t go so well the last time for Sanity. They had Eric Young up their sleeve this time though. A Beat down ensues. Akom gets zip tied to the guard rail. Razar gets beat on first. Akom drags the guard rail into the ring but then takes his beating.

Peyton Royce & Billie Kay give us a tutorial on putting on lipstick. Ruby Riot gets into the background shot and ruins it.

Chris & JC aka The Metro Brothers hit the ring. Angelo Dawkins & Montez Ford aka the Street Profits are their opponents. Percy Watson getting a personality on commentary. The Profits were deifnitely the feature talent. They finished off JC Metro with a Spinning Stinger Splash followed by a Frog Splash for the win. Their athleticism is impressive. It needs harnessed more but not bad for a debut.

William Regal introduces both Drew McIntyre and Bobby Roode. Roode brought security for the sake of the match at Takeover because Roderick Strong is liable attack him. Roode didn’t need a second chance like McIntyre. Roode failing to mention that Drew is 8 years younger than him. Roode welcomed McIntyre back to the WWE which isn’t a good thing for a man in a Championship match. Strong ends up showing up. Roode proposes that if Strong can beat McIntyre, Strong can fight Roode after Takeover. Can they make this match at Takeover look any more lame duck?

Johnny Gargano is a little too “Aww Shucks, I’ve never been a singles wrestler” for me. Especially considering he’s mainly been a singles wrestler over his career.

Oney Lorcan takes on Danny Birch. They had a fun, hard hitting match. Both of them do have similar styles as the announcers noted frequently. It works well for them. It also made sense for Danny Birch to win this one so that there could be a rubber match. Takeover Brooklyn sounds good to me.

No Way Jose makes a conga line in the crowd. Andrade “Cien” Almas hits the ring with Zelina Vega by his side. She was the story of the match. She kept on instructing him to be more aggressive at every turn. Almas won with a hammerlock DDT for the win. He’s put on some great matches so I’m all for him getting more wins. Zelina then throws down a challenge for Gargano. Aww shucks, Gargano is going to lose. – Kevin DiFrango

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