Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw – 6 Jan’ ’20

Oklahoma City Museum of Art in Oklahoma City. Picture saved from okcmoa.org.

For some reason, I’m doing this Blog like usual instead of being a reasonable wrestling fan and watching Wrestle Kingdom. We get a recap of the Lana and Lashley Wedding.

Brock Lesnar is the first man, along with Paul Heyman, hit the ring first. No one worthy of facing Brock Lesnar for the Royal Rumble. Heyman says that Lesnar is going to enter the Royal Rumble so that everyone can challenge him. Not only is he going to enter, he’s going to enter first. He’s ready to be Brock Two Belts. I want to go to Twitter just to see how many people are pissed at just the thought of this happening.

Rey Mysterio is in the middle of his promo by the time they turn on the microphones. What is this, AEW? He knows his shelf life isn’t long but he’s going to enjoy it. He’s ready to take on Andrade again. I’m not sure how many times these two have had a TV match while in the WWE together and I’d venture a guess of a dozen. They’re all pretty damn good. This one seems to have an extra gear after Andrade has his foot put on the rope by Zelina Vega. Mysterio gets a near fall after a Sunset Bomb. Andrade gets power bombed into the post and falls to the outside. Andrade reverses a Wheel Barrow Bulldog attempt into a Flap Jack of sorts. Rey connects with the 619 . Vega pulls Andrade out of the ring. Rey goes to dive on Andrade and catches Vega. Rey ends up being more concerned with her than Andrade. Rey gets tossed into the stairs. Rey gets a break for injury. He recovers and talks to Vega again. When he does get in the ring, Hammerlock DDT for the Andrade win. Andrade ends up pulling off Rey’s mask and presents it to Vega as he finally checks on her.

Kevin Owens & Samoa Joe is a team that I never expected. They’re talking about the “Enemy of my enemy is my friend” situation they find themselves in. Samoa Joe lets on that he has a third man for their match tonight with Seth Rollins & AOP. Joe says just to trust him.

Seth Rollins & AOP are just coming into the arena. They are ready for any challenges that come their way. He talks about facing challenges every day of his life and how the WWE Universe made him their beacon of hope.

The Street Profits get some mic time before their big championship match that also involves Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows and The Viking Raiders. Ivar & Montez Ford do dueling Cart Wheels which draws the ire of Gallows. Ford takes a Viking Experience but The OC saves him. It’s always a little weird when Erik is having to sell. He tags in Ivar who gets to work over Anderson. Ivar takes too long going for a Bronco Buster. Anderson tags in Angelo Dawkins. He knocks down Ivar and tags in Ford. He Frog Splashes Ivar. Anderson tosses Ford from the ring and goes for the pin. Ivar makes the save. Ford dives onto Dawkins and Gallows. Erik power bombs Anderson. Ivar with the Frog Splash for the win.

Charley Caruso asks Joe who the secret tag team partner is for the night. Kevin Owens wants to know too. Joe takes him to their partner. Charley follows. They go into a closet door. KO peaks in and says they’re good.

Becky Lynch is out to wonder whether her title reign has been a failure despite her achieving everything that she set out to achieve. Asuka saves us the lamenting by screaming at Lynch on the way to the ring. Asuka gets into the ring and goes face to face with Lynch. Becky gives her a right and drops Asuka. Becky walks away. Asuka freaks out as she saunters away.

Mojo Rawley finding the fortitude to ask Rowan whats in the cage. Rowan makes him promise not to tell anyone. Rawley looks at it thru the top of the cage. He freaks out and asks Rowan “What’s wrong with you?”

Zelina Vega & Andrade are interviewed about their win earlier. Rey attacks and takes back his mask. The agents actually shoe someone away for a change.

Rowan has a match against local talent again. Rowan grabs him and asks if he wants to know what’s in cage. The talent runs away from the cage. He’s an idiot for going back into the ring. Claw Slam for the win. Rowan puts the talent’s face against the cage. Talent comes out from under the burlap bleeding.

AJ Styles takes on Akira Tozawa. Styles gives him a Phenomenal Forearm early in the match. He pulls up Tozawa. Styles gives him the hanging DDT. Styles finishes him with an RKO after pounding on the mat. Styles then celebrates like Orton in the corner of the ring.

Lana and Bobby Lashley come out for an impromptu wedding. WE get the same actor as last week as the officiant. Rusev pops up as Lana drones one yet again. He’s “on the beach” as he does his promo. He gives them a video package. Rusev says they’re the most miserable people, not him. LAshley challenges Rusev to yet another match. Unlike Andrade & Rey, I’m not pulling for this match to happen yet again.

Sarah Logan takes on Charlotte. Logan seems to have a different look along with her old stable mate Liv Morgan. They brawl before the match even starts. Logan gets in the ring and starts destroying Charlotte’s robe. Logan decides to follow outside. Charlotte spears her. Only a push into the posts slows the beating Logan gets after that. Flair puts the robe back on and “kicks up dust” on Logan. No official match.

No Way Jose and Drew McIntyre have a match. It takes Drew longer to terroize the Conga Line than the match. Claymore Kick for the win. For some reason, people are cheering more Claymores.Sexy Drew is all the rage these days. Drew thinks he’s good enough for a shot at Brock Lesnar but since he’s not getting that, he’s entering the Royal Rumble.

Shelton Benjamin gets to be the hard out loss against Aleister Black. Interestingly enough, Black out wrestles Benjamin early in the match. Benjamin does a great job of firing back but takes more than he gives. Blackmas for the win. Buddy Murphy attacks almost before Black’s music hits. Murphy finishes him off with a running high knee. Murphy follows by putting Black’s chin on a chair and kneeing him.

Seth Rollins & AoP come otu first so that Seth can preach directly to the crowd. Hahaha. I like this schtick. Kevin Owens comes out first. Samoa Joe is out second. We get Big Show as the surprise. He looks great. Owens taking a beating is something to not in the flow of this match. Everyone is chanting for the Big Show. Owens continues to take a beating. Rezar takes out Samoa Joe to prevent a tag. It costs him being distracted by Big Show. Superkick by Owens. Big Show gets in. Samoa Joe gets taken out by AoP. Owens had been down already. AoP & Rollins surround him. Rollins hits him with a chair to cause a DQ. Samoa Joe recovers to fight off AoP. Owens grabs Rollins who is setting up for a Stomp. WMD on Rollins.

Better show than most recent efforts. Still plenty of weird stuff.

Kevin DiFrango

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