I know our usual modus operandi here at Stunt Granny is to poke fun at pro wrestlers’ misgivings. It’s cathartic when you find out that your heroes are fallible. Kinda like the first time you beat your dad in basketball or learn to cook meth more efficiently than he does. I can’t in good conscience poke any fun at this. In fact, Jake Roberts and, hopefully, Scott Hall are the feel-good stories of the year thanks to Diamond Dallas Page. Spend 10 minutes watching this video. I come from a shitty small town in North Central Iowa where daily exercise includes four 3-minute rounds with your wife. I’ve heard people talk the way Scott Hall talks here. I’ve felt bad for people I know. I almost feel worse for this guy I don’t know. But I’m pleased that he’s agreeing to get help from Page, who has shown that he could help the once-unhelpable Roberts. I’m sure we’ll get regular check-ins on YouTube; let’s hope for the best. -Eric
Kevin and Dusty didn’t start the fire! But they sure did talk about it on this audio! Join Kevin and Dusty on a fantastic voyage through the wacky world of professional wrestling, as they give you a healthy dosage of News You Can Use. They also talk about just how crazy Kharma is, how useless Velvet Sky is, how ridiculous TNA is, how big of a superstar Chavo Guerrero is, how cashing it in Jerry Lawler, and a veritable host of other things. Dusty makes gay jokes, Kevin regales us with tales of idiot co-workers, and a special surprise guest pops in to add to the festivities. All this and a whole lot more, and it’s only going to take you about an hour of your precious measley time, so get to it, losers.
Filed under: Audio Updates, Podcasts, TNA News, WWE News | Tagged: Aces & Eights, Big Boss Man, Bobby Roode, Chavo Guerrero, CM Punk, crazy, Eddie Guerrero, fire, Hulk Hogan, Impact Wrestling, James Storm, Jerry Lawler, Kevin Nash, Kharma, Madison Rayne, Mickie James, Miss Tessmacher, Monday Night Raw, Mount Rushmore, News You Can Use, pumping iron, Ric Flair, Rick Rude, Scott Hall, Sherlock Holmes, Tara, The Radicals, TNA, useless, Velvet Sky, WCW, women's wrestling sucks, World Wrestling Entertainment, WWE | 1 Comment »
Scott Hall arrested for allegedly beating his girlfriend, officially added to dictionary as “white trash” illustration
According to Prowrestling.net, former TNA star (I’ve made this joke before, because he’s trashy like TNA, M I RITE) Scott Hall was arrested Friday in Florida for allegedly choking out his girlfriend, Lisa Howell. The full story at TMZ.com says police were dispatched to Hall’s residence on a domestic disturbance call. When they arrived, Howell claimed Hall had been drinking for days (which we at Stunt Granny doubt), and when Howell tried to drive away, Hall reached into the car, choked Howell and pulled her out of the car. (Anonymous witnesses do not claim he did that overhead toss move from his Razor Ramon days.) Hall is denying there was physical abuse, which means the only explanation for the red hand marks around Howell’s neck is that she confused a serial killer for a scarf, or something. And as for the “drinking for days” part, Hall was reportedly so drunk that he was secreted a strange white liquid from the corners of his mouth and was denied booking into the jail and instead sent to a medical facility to detox.
I mean, does the fun ever stop? It’s not enough that WWE has spent plenty of money sending Hall to rehab, and that ESPN aired his entire dirty wardrobe on “E:60.” I guess I’m going to have to make my personal plea to Scott himself: Scott, listen to me. One of the greatest things posted to YouTube in the past two years has been “Last Call With Scott Hall,” where you and an aging Larry Zbyszko watch old wrestling matches and provide insightful and funny alternate commentary. Please, please keep in mind that you cannot have Flip cameras in jail, and they’re too big to confiscate them where the sun doesn’t shine. Yes, drinking is fun, you make lots of new friends that way and no one ever gets hurt, but for the sake of your Internet series, cut the booze! -Eric
In case you missed it last night, ESPN is offering up the Scott Hall’s “The Wrestler” segment from E:60 online. The segment was incredibly short and really shows how bad off Scott Hall is now. What it doesn’t do is explore anything in great detail. Sure, it gives probable cause for his addictions and shows what he goes through now, but there is no deep investigation. Some of this is the pratfall of committing only 15 minutes or so to the actual story.
The piece features a bunch of other wrestlers, friends, family or wrestling execs commenting on Scott Hall, but the way the short documentary was packaged it came across like they are distancing themselves from his ailments rather than explaining. These are just my initial thoughts on the program. I reserve the right to reverse course after more viewings, so go screw.
Kevin Nash comes off as a jokester instead of a concerned friend. His line about driving a stake through Hall’s chest as the only means of killing him may be funny but it is sad all the same. It was never explored past that. It was a one-off comment that added little. Sure, it is meant to explain the copious amount abuse Hall has done to his body, but it came off as aloof instead of poignant.
One aspect that should have been explored to same detail was the fact that X-Pac/Sean Waltman was in a similar position and came out of it and thus his pain at seeing Scott continually failing would have been stronger. Waltman taking issue with promoter Steve Ricard is spot on, but then listening to Hall try and explain his situation afterwards lessened the blow. He says that a combo of medications messed his head up so bad that, “Brother, I didn’t even know what country I was in. I don’t even remember being there.” It is hard to feel sympathy for someone who appears to be reveling in it as he smiles and nearly laughs while explaining it all.
Filed under: Jeremy's Blog, TNA News, WWE News | Tagged: Andre The Giant, Cody Hall, Dixie Carter, E:60, Eric Bischoff, ESPN, Hulk Hogan, Kevin Nash, New World Order, NWO, PJ Polanco, Scott Hall, Sean Waltman, somas, Stephanie McMahon, steroids, Steve Ricard, TNA, WCW, WWE, WWF, X-Pac | Leave a Comment »
Eric makes a triumphant return as he teams up with Jeremy in this edition of Stunt Granny Audio. The boys discuss the latest happenings behind the scenes of TNA or is it Impact Wrestling. How does the influx of new talent to the talent relations and booking staff matter? How the hell do you possibly add more talent to the active roster? Did you know TNA has at least fifty active competitors already? Who could they possibly bring in that would matter in the least bit? Just why anyone thinks things will change as long as Hulk Hogan is in charge and he is in charge. They also manage to talk some WWE with Mason Ryan and his creepy hair. Also, how has CM Punk gotten over the elbow drop? Yeah it’s a short segment but whatever. Check it out!
Filed under: Audio Updates, TNA News, WWE News | Tagged: AJ Styles, Batista, blatant sexism, Bobby Roode, Bruce Prichard, Brutus Beefcake, Chris Jericho, CM Punk, Colt Cabana, Dave Lagana, Demolition, Dixie Carter, Haku, Hulk Hogan, Human Tornado, Impact Wrestling, James Storm, Koko B Ware, kurt angle, Mason Ryan, Scott Hall, Stunt Granny Audio, The Barbarian, The Nasty Boys, The Twin Towers, The Ultimate Warrior, The Warlord, Vince McMahon, WWE | 1 Comment »
According to Prowrestling.net, Bob Holly, aka Hardcore Holly, aka Big Bald Hick #1 (that team would have drawn money in Smoky Mountain Wrestling) will be the subject of a biography, released by ECW Press in about a year and a half. Yeah, because it’ll take a year and a half for Bob Holly to recount all of the riveting tales of his childhood, from catching carp with a screwdriver tied to a pole, to weightlifting with buckets of sand to make his 8-man high school football team, to the struggle for literacy to be able to read his own biography.
Not only that, but Holly promises stories you never thought you’d hear. This is Bob’s book report:
I will talk about things no one has dared to talk about. It will be written in a very unique style thanks to Ross Williams who I’ve chosen to write my story. I believe this book will be an interesting and entertaining read. You will definitely want to read this book not only for what I am going to share but the exceptional brilliant style of writing Ross uses when putting words on paper.
Yes, Bob, that’s what happens when people write, words go on paper, good job! I can’t wait to hear his stories about Vince McMahon: “Mr. McMahon has an office in a tall building in Conneti.. Conneti… … … up north. Mr. McMahon offered me a job. He has nice suits. Mr. McMahon isn’t mean like people say he is. He didn’t even fire me after I played with BB’s big boobs or beat up two rookies. I’d like to work for Mr. McMahon again.” F-plus.
Also according to Prowrestling.net, WWE is asking for votes on five potential titles for an upcoming reality series where WWE legends live together in a house. The titles are awful and deserve no space here in this sacred ground known as Stunt Granny, but think of the possibilities of the plots. Make them all keep a job like in “The Real World” or “Jersey Shore” and watch them work indies for 35 paying fans. What’s this? Sgt. Slaughter and Mae Young are in the hot tub?? Get a camera out there! Iron Sheik and Greg “The Hammer” Valentine are planning a road trip? Check their luggage! As long as Scott Hall comes to visit Kevin Nash, that means Hall will be under surveillance for a while. -Eric
According to Prowrestling.net, Ring of Honor executive producer Jim Cornette was interviewed by Monday Night Mayhem and was asked if Matt and Jeff Hardy would be welcome there. The answer I got was no, with a little more flourish:
I haven’t talked to these guys, and I don’t know what their side of the story is, but there always seems to be controversy swirling around The Hardys right now. I believe Ring of Honor would once again take the standpoint that we are going to try and find the young undeveloped talent and expose them to the world, rather than to look to be the place where people come to have a warm place to curl up when they leave the big leagues.
Speaking of white trash, according to Prowrestling.net (and my friend Niemann, who forwarded this link onto me first), Ric Flair was profiled at Grantland.com in an unflattering but completely honest way: The article dives into court papers and records – “thousands of pages,” according to the article – to piece together the many financial, work-related and marital problems the “Nature Boy” has dealt with in the past two-plus decades. It’s an incredible read and absolutely worth your time, but let me pull out a couple of non-Flair snippets to show you the great detail into which this article goes.
At other points during the  flight [from hell], [Scott] Hall licked [flight attendant Heidi] Doyle’s face, told her he wanted to “lick her pussy,” and asked [flight attendant Taralyn] Cappellano to “suck his dick.”
Poor flight attendants. Why can’t people just be up front and say what they want? “TWO peanuts, please! It’s a long flight!”
[Virgil] Runnels [III, aka Dustin Rhodes] advised Cappellano that, “You and me are gonna fuck.”
Seriously, just say what you want! These women have long days ahead of them! I promise I’m going to speak my mind next time I fly; it’ll really help these ladies out. -Eric
According to Prowrestling.net, former WWE star Scott Hall was sentenced to 10 days in jail stemming from a May 2010 arrest for drunken driving. The sentence was reduced to two days thanks to previous time served, none of which Hall actually remembers, so good for him.
For starters, you’ll notice our headline attributes Scott Hall’s stardom to TNA. That’s because TNA is white trash, much like Scott Hall. Also, you’ll notice we haven’t linked back to the original story from May 2010 of Scott Hall being arrested. That’s because we absolutely don’t remember that happening. Not because it’s not newsworthy, but because this guy gets himself in so much trouble, he makes blurs look clear. It’s like if someone punched you in the nuts 10,000 times and then asked, “Hey, remember that time I punched you in the nuts?” -Eric
Because we’re not always interested in the wrestling week in and week out, we decided to cover the topic of social media and wrestlers’ use of it. This topic was too big for just two men so Eric, Jeremy and Kevin joined in the fray. We start off my talking about how odd it is that two icons, the Ultimate Warrior & Hulk Hogan, from our childhoods are having a cat fight by way of social media whether it is Twitter barbs or Youtube diatribes that have distracting back grounds. The guys further the conversation by wondering what the end game is for some of these wrestlers. Do they do it to placate their egos? Are they doing it just to get their characters over? Do they think there’s a pot of gold at the end of the social media rainbow? The boys close out the show by talking about the social media firestorm that they were directly (we think) involved with, the Jeff & Matt Hardy tasing video. Kick back with more social media in your ear holes!
Filed under: Audio Updates, TNA News, WWE News | Tagged: CM Punk, Colt Cabana, drug trafficking, Dutch Mantell, honky tonk man, Hulk Hogan, Jeff Hardy, Kevin Nash, Matt Hardy, raven, Scott Hall, Sean Waltman, Stunt Granny Audio, Terry Bollea, Twitter, Ultimate Warrior, Warrior, web blogs, X-Pac, Yoshi Tatsu, YouTube, zack ryder | 1 Comment »
Eric: I had an odd thought this morning. Pat Patterson is going to die someday, probably soon. The Brisco Bros. are dying off. Bruce Prichard is gone, but whatever. Jim Ross isn’t exactly a trusted WWE confidant anymore. What happens when Vince McMahon dies and Hunter and Stephanie take over? Who will the inner circle be?
Jeremy: You are seeing the results. X-Pac. Nash. Flair.
Eric: Yep. Maybe Steamboat.
Jeremy: Only if Flair is there. I can’t see Triple H being that open. OR, no wrestlers and all “writers.”
Eric: See, I think Hunter has enough respect for pro wrestling that he wouldn’t let that happen all the way. He’s seen how well WWE operates when it’s guys like Vince, Cornette, Jim Ross and Pat Patterson leading it, and how it’s been in the shitter with the likes of Brian Gewirtz and these soap-opera writers. Plus, his buddies (Nash, Waltman, Scott Hall if he’s still alive) all have “a mind for the business” like everyone talks about.
Eric: Despite Gewirtz being the head writer of Raw, there’s still a glimmer of old-school thinking with Michael Hayes as the head writer of Smackdown.
Jeremy: Look at Smackdown, though. It is bland as bland can be. Sure the talent is bland, but there is nothing there. It is also the time of year WWE takes off. Apathy. They take a 2 to 3 month vacation after WrestleMania.
Eric: This is true, but I don’t know what to chalk that up to. Because an old wrestler is running it? Or because it’s the B-show that doesn’t get the attention.
Jeremy: B-show shouldn’t matter. You write for excitement. You do the most with what you have. It does not help the crowds are full of stupid kids who can’t pay attention. This is a huge problem: fuckers have attention spans of 3-4 seconds.
Eric: Yeah, it’s not like Prime Time Wrestling back in 1988 was setting the world on fire, when the WWF was marketing to the same age group that they are now.
Eric: Catch-22: Wrestling was at its best, most exciting and most profitable when it was marketed toward 12-17, 18-24 and 25-34. Attention spans were longer, edgier stuff was more allowable and appreciated, and more people had more money to spend. But you don’t get 18-year-old fans without hooking them as 6-year-old fans. And therein lies the rub. (At least Nash and X-Pac know edgy.)
Jeremy: You don’t even have to do edgier. You can get older fans if it is good, hence why adults watch some cartoons. Good stories will grasp any age. You don’t need the swearing and T&A. There was some good stuff in there. Your Jack Swagger criticism is spot on. These guys just do what they are told. He stands there waiting for his line instead of just going to it.
Eric: That’s a good point. A good story with good execution will grab any audience, no matter the medium or method of presentation. I think my dad liked “Ren & Stimpy” more than I did, because it was smart and hilarious.
Jeremy: But the characters need to be at least a little compelling.
Eric: And douchebags like Swagger are not
Jeremy: I can’t name one really. Christian has a compelling story I guess. Punk, as much as I like him , is going through the motions. Del Rio got sidetracked. None of them are interesting. BUT, Dolph Ziggler was real good last night.
Eric: Yeah, he was given the ball (a seat on commentary, where honestly a lot of guys are made or broken), and he ran with it.
Jeremy: I couldn’t tell if he was reading lines though.
Eric: He was reading his Twitter! As he wrote on it!
Eric: So the issue is grand: WWE is in its annual funk, its writers don’t do much to shake that out, wrestlers aren’t given much leeway to help, but when they actually get the ball, like Dolph, there’s a chance for them to shine. And then we get excited. And then… what?
Jeremy: The ball doesn’t get spread around though. It is a catch and run off with it. They only own one, if you will.
Eric: Have they ever really owned more than one? How was it that I remember the Patterson days, or the Ross-Cornette days so much more fondly? Are X-Pac and Kevin Nash gonna come in and “buy more balls” for these guys to run with?
Jeremy: Well they had Rock, DX, New Age Outlaws, Foley, and Austin all going strong. There were some to be shared.
Eric: And before that, Hogan, Warrior, Savage, Dino Bravo… oh.
Jeremy: Ric Flair, Sid Justice.
Eric: So I guess given the right cast of characters and the best brains behind them, any wrestling company can survive.
Jeremy: Yeah. Unless you are WCW.
Eric: Or your head writerusso is sleeping with your financiecarter.
Filed under: Misc. News | Tagged: Alberto Del Rio, Brian Gewirtz, Bruce Prichard, Christian, D-Generation X, Dino Bravo, Dixie Carter, Dolph Ziggler, Hulk Hogan, Jack Swagger, Jim Ross, Kevin Nash, Mick Foley, Monday Night Raw, New Age Outlaws, Randy Savage, Ric Flair, Rick Steamboat, Scott Hall, Sean Waltman, Sid Justice, Smackdown, Stephanie McMahon, Steve Austin, The Brisco Bros, The Rock, Triple H, Twitter, Ultimate Warrior, Vince McMahon, Vince Russo, WCW, WrestleMania | Leave a Comment »