Sweet mother...

From the Department of Obvious Shit: According to Prowrestling.net, former TNA Knockout Taylor Wilde has announced her retirement from professional wrestling in order to go back to college. Good, colleges need more hot blonde chicks.

Also according to Prowrestling.net, an independent wrestling promoter (Really, what does that *mean* anymore? Independent from what? Corporate sponsors? The ability to put on a good TV show?) named Ernest Mack Shell was arrested Saturday night for failure to pay the wrestlers on his show in (haha) Brushfork, Ky., including Diamond Dallas Page and Jim Neidhart. In Shell’s defense, no one came to see DDP do yoga, and Jim Neidhart can just steal stuff for his drug money, anyway. Nonetheless, let this be a lesson to you all: An indy promoter probably won’t pay you… and Jake Roberts probably won’t send you his autograph if you give him money first.

Finally, Matt Hardy made his long-awaited (heh) TNA debut on Sunday at the Genesis PPV. Much has been said about Hardy’s makeover, but I truly believe he looks like the love-child of his mother and his father. And then he lost all self-respect, none of which he even deserved (correct, not even from himself), became a frequent customer at Cracker Barrel, faked faking being on drugs (because why flush your brother’s stash down the toilet when you can take them yourself?) and turned outwardly into the humongous piece of shit we always knew he was. Yeah, I think that’s the best way to sum up his “look.” Here’s one way not to sum it up: It’s really gonna sell some tickets. -Eric

"Aww *sniff snort* dang ol' jerks, I'mma draw monee here! I weel naht DAAAHH!"