So last night on WWE Monday Night Raw, we were “treated” to a vignette of a new wrestler named Fandangoo. No, that’s not a typo, there’s an extra “o” on the end. Presumably not because WWE doesn’t know how to spell the name of the popular “fandango” dance, but because they’re queering up NXT lifer Johnny Curtis and they wanted the word “goo” in his name. WWE did one of those acronym deals where each letter in Fandangoo stood for a word that describes him. I’ve got an acronym for you: Fuck All this Nonsense, Don’t Anticipate Next week’s raw will Go On my Oh-I-must-watch-this-list. I remember when vignettes used to get me excited for new wrestlers, but then, that was back when the new wrestlers were exciting.

Going by this helpful video posted at Prowrestling.net, Curtis’ Fandangoo will be some hybrid of Alex Wright, Disco Inferno and the Handsome Stranger, aka Buff Bagwell. Wow, everything that was good about WCW in 1995, all rolled into one douche!

In other WWE news, according to Prowrestling.net, WWE has “released” video footage of Big Show attacking Sheamus and William Regal in a pub in England. That’s so racist; just because Sheamus is Irish and Regal is a drunk doesn’t mean they spend all night in a bar. And don’t you just love this new social-media era of WWE, where they try to fake this fan-captured-footage look and then post it on their own social channels? It’s about as disingenuous as me saying, “I can’t want to GOO over FandanGOO next week!” -Eric