Everyone loves to shop this year so allow me to show you some gifts that the WWEShop.com. They have their usual special page for Christmas but it took me to the children’s page first. Normally, I wouldn’t bite on this category but it’s hard to pass up this toy train, especially since my father has a massive train set.
– The WWE Smackdown Express Holiday Train is the perfect gift for your child. Starting from the caboose, the WWE has pictures of CM Punk (I think), Undertaker, Sheamus and Randy Orton. That is quite a bit of Superstar power to be taking the train. Since this is the WWE and we’re stuck in the 70’s, the train still has what I would call in cartoon terms the “Hobo Car” next. You know the train car that is always empty because trains just go from point to point without transporting anything. The hobos in this instance are are HHH down a on knee posing with a sledge hammer and Big Show who looks like he’s trying to spook you or act as a crane to grab something coming past the train. What a bizarre look this car has. They could be wrestling each other or sitting next to each other, legs dangling out of the hobo car and it would look 100% less strange. We move along to the coal car which on has the logo for the “Night Before Christmas World Tour” on it. I think an appropriate use of the coal car would be to put everyone’s picture on it who has been “Future Endeavored” this year since they’ll be getting coal for Christmas. The fourth and final car is the engine car. Vince’s ego is so big that he’s the one driving, right? Nope, you are wrong. The engineer of this train is John Cena. So if we’re booking by how this train lays out their cars, Cena is definitely winning at TLC.
– My older niece started collecting snow globes the other year. I didn’t get her one this year but if I had looked at WWEShop.com first, I would have. Look at this fantastic WWE Championship Snow Globe. It features the WWE Championship inside of the globe itself. The mounting for this globe is of course a wrestling ring with ropes included. The ring skirt has the WWE logo on one side and the Raw logo on another. I’d love to say they’re knocking Smackdown but that’s the theme of the train. I’m sure some young lad is thinking of setting up his train set around this wrestling ring snow globe that is sure to get everyone talking during the holidays. (About how much of a rube this child is for shucking out $29.99 for this hunk of garbage.
– What little child isn’t sitting on Santa’s lap saying “I want Hustle, Loyalty & Respect for Christmas”? Well little Timmy, you’ve gone barking up the wrong tree. According to this John Cena “Happy Holidays” North Pole Sign. You only get HLR when you head to Tampa, Florida from the arrows on this sign pole. I’m not sure why John doesn’t think Santa hustles because he runs a sweat shop with elves and then delivers all of his gifts in twenty four hours across twenty four time zones. That is some serious hustle. Santa, aka Saint Nicholas, has been loyal to his Christian followers for nearly 2000 years now. He started by being a secret gift giver in 4th century and is still doing it to this day. John, your 11 years of service has nothing on good ole’ Saint Nick. So that leaves us with respect. In this regard, John Cena and Santa have a lot in common. Both are very popular with their fan base but they also get a lot of boos from the older folks, like all of those people Cena lives around in Florida.
Don’t worry grand kids, these aren’t the only stocking stuffers that will fill our page. Stay tuned for the that keeps on giving me easy ideas to write a column. – Kevin